Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Let's Get Serious

Conversation with Billy on the phone just now:

Me: I think Jessie's coming out too and she better because she needs to decorate that damn Christmas tree.

Billy: Yeah. She needs to decorate that damn tree. Doesn't she know that every day she doesn't decorate that damn tree she is making Baby Jesus cry?

So I called Jessie and told her to get her ass out here and quit making Baby Jesus cry. It's so easy to joke with Jessie because if anyone in this world is less apt to make Baby Jesus cry, it would be her.

So Billy and Shayla and Waylon and yes, Jessie too, are on their way out. And I have fed my chickens and not much else. But I wanted to discuss a few things and as we all know, me discussing things on my blog is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD. Well, my world, anyway.

First off- Tiger Woods. No, I don't really want to talk about Tiger. I just want to talk about an interview I heard on NPR yesterday with this woman who writes for the Washington Post (a Pulitzer Prize winner!) who was bemoaning the fact that the media is stereotyping these hundred or so women that Tiger is alleged to have had sex with because they are all waitresses or cocktail waitresses or models. Or...porn stars. Whatever. But she is saying that just because they may be in the service industry, it does not mean they are easy, cheap, or slutty-slut-pants as May would say.
Well, I agree with her on that. But I have to point out that each of these women did indeed sleep with a married man and whether a woman is a cocktail waitress or a nuclear physicist, she should know better than that. And damning the media for making these women look like slutty slut pants is ridiculous. Have you seen those pictures? The women are doing a fine job of it on their own.
I think that writer was just trying to come up with some angle that would make her voice unique in this whole circus.
I think it's ridiculous and I seriously doubt another Pulitzer is going to be won with that argument.

Okay. On to the next topic. Blog-writing. Could we stop doing that thing where we type a word and then cross it out on our blogs? Okay, if I knew how to do that, I probably would. I thought it was funny the first time I saw it done (on Dooce.com, of course) but it's not funny any more. Just like "made me throw-up in my mouth a little" was not funny the ten millionth time it was said. I pointed that out last year and no one says that any more and you can thank me for that. I am also tired of the, well, OBVIOUSLY! thing. It's just not cute any more. Can we just write without having to use all these bloggy expressions?
I am a firm believer in style and voice but when we borrow someone else's style and voice, we are not using our own. Obviously.

Last night I saw a woman wearing a T-shirt which had a bloody cross on it and the words, "This shirt would be banned in 51 countries."
Well, aside from the taste factor, it brought to mind the fact that if Jesus had been killed by the state in present times, we'd all be wearing little electric chairs or syringes around our neck. This thought did not originate with me but it certainly resonates with me. Wearing a cross is fine. It is a symbol, I realize that. But a bloody cross? And making sure the world knows that you are a fierce defender of the right to do so with a T-shirt?
I don't think it's just Jessie who is making Baby Jesus cry.

And what else was I thinking about recently? Hell. I can't remember.

I better get busy. I told Billy that if he wanted me to cook them some bacon and eggs and biscuits they better stop by the store and get some bacon and buttermilk. Otherwise, I have everything we need. Haha! I'm so excited that they're coming and that I'll get to hold Baby Waylon. I hope I don't make him cry. I wonder if Owen is jealous, knowing that I'll be holding another baby. I hope not. I really don't want to make any baby cry, even Baby Jesus, especially not now when it's almost his fake birthday.

Yeah. I'm going to hell. I'll save you a seat.

Oh my God, the sun is shining! Somewhere, some one is definitely making Baby Jesus laugh.

Because, well, OBVIOUSLY!

13 comments:

  1. I totally agree on all of the above. All of it. I am also quite excited to hear about the "Sex Please, We're Sixty"..I may have to come to Florida and see it. Better post the details! I could use the travel miles ( < : . PS I also don't like happy faces but how else do I express that I am kidding or sarcastic? PSS Isn't it kind of surprising that although our bodies age our minds hold on to all the agony, joy, pain, craziness of our youth? Makes me feel like I am really not aging (sometimes) but also makes me think I will never be mature as in the way I thought I would be eventually! Dancing is a perfect example of both if you know what I mean. Thanks for the writing.

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  2. I also agree whole-heartedly! Of course all waitresses/cocktail waitresses aren't slutty slut pants. But some certainly are. And so are some property managers, just to name a random occupation!

    I am glad you will have a house full, get that damn tree put up, and get to hold a baby. I doubt Owen would be jealous because he knows how good you are at it.

    If we are all going to hell, i will be driving the bus that takes us there!

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  3. Oh my, sunshine and biscuits. And loved ones to help trim the tree, it's looking like a great day at the church of the bat shit crazy!
    I agree with you completely on the mistresses of Sir Tiger we put on a pedestal who's actually a skank - one actually said she didn't know he was married, and what hole was her head shoved up lately? Cheaters cheating and telling lies about about it. I wouldn't defend any of them, they should all lay low, shut up and go away. It's sick that they are getting paid to tell their dirt to the world. I don't want to know, but like a train wreck I can't not look.
    Thanks for the sermon today, I loved it, and have a great day. I'm kicking Christmas' butt out here, least overwhelmed I've been in years.
    Woo hoo!

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  4. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I agree with the the crossing off thing wholeheartedly. And with your perception of the woman on NPR and her unique angle. I really wish I could be as outspoken as you, about the things I don't agree with.
    I have more growing up to do.

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  5. As always a post summing up how most of us feel about things. And a distict copy of my memory with the following sentence
    'And what else was I thinking about recently? Hell. I can't remember'
    which rings a distict bell with me. Enjoy holding the baby

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  6. I read that writer, Robin Givhan, all the time (I'm from the Washington area). She's primarily the fashion writer, but she's also on the Michelle Obama beat.

    If there's a story to be told about Michelle's belts or cardigans, she's your girl.

    I was surprised to hear about her Pulitzer as well.

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  7. This may not inspire the joy of Christmas (or make anyone enjoy it if they're not so inclined) but it will bring a smile and (for me) a laugh out loud. It made my day (thank you Kathleen!)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCFCeJTEzNU
    If I had my own blog I'd post it there but since I don't, Mary, I hope you don't mind my sharing yours for just a moment. See you tonight.

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  8. Great post. Just popping by quickly.

    Love you Mary.

    SB

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  9. I love this post! And I hate, too, crossing words out "for emphasis." I'm partial to italics, actually, and probably use them entirely too much but it's just so cool to press that button and bingo! you've got italics and emphasis!

    Have fun with all your babies!

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  10. Cinda- We all have to get older but we don't have to become more mature. Thank goodness.

    Ms. Dish- I was wondering who would drive the bus.

    Mel- I'm glad someone is kicking Christmas' butt. My damn tree is still not decorated. Baby Jesus is crying his little baby eyes out.

    Angie- I am just very opinionated and have a big mouth.

    Technogram- I can't remember shit these days. But I do remember how to hold a baby. Phew!

    Nancy- Yep. That's the one. I loved how she was justifying their sexy pictures- they weren't taken when the women were coming out of church! Tortured reasoning in my book.

    Jan- Okay. That was funny. Do you think we could do that at the OH? Maybe we could do it with silent nuns. Thanks for sharing.

    Ms. Bastard- Love you, too.

    Elizabeth- And I may (just maybe) overuse the CAPITAL LETTERS! Perhaps.

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  11. Yeah, what you said, about everything, except the OBVIOUSLY thing, which I never noticed before. Hm. I hope I don't do it. I don't THINK I do.
    I love how you said, about the strikethrough, how you'd probably use it too if you knew how!
    You discussing things on your blog IS the most important thing in the world.
    Love the baby Jesus discussion with Billy.
    You're the bestest best.

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  12. I hate that damn "Obviously" thing too. I guess I just dont like how over-used it is. It's funny once, twice, maybe even ten times. But then...I'm done.

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  13. I'm going too. If you save me that seat, I'll bring the popcorn and Raisinets.

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