Sunday Morning At The Church Of The Batshit Crazy, Hymn Included

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Home And Sweetness

So, we're home. And it's not a bad place to be at all although I am looking around and wondering why everything is so white. Well, theoretically white, at least.

Why haven't I painted my house bright yellow with turquoise trim?



Or... pumpkin and purple? Oh. You tell me. I don't know. Maybe because I don't know how to paint. That's a pretty lame excuse, isn't it?

But I could at least have multi-colored disco balls hanging from my porch roof. Really. I could. And I will, believe me, as soon as I can figure out where to buy some.


My heart STOOD STILL when I saw those disco balls flashing gems and jewels of colored splendor around. It was like when Jake and Elwood heard the sermon of the Reverend James Brown and the heavens opened but instead of being struck down by the epiphany of We have to get the band together again! I was struck down by the epiphany of We have to get multi-colored disco balls!

Yeah well. Same-same.

So I have had many epiphanies. This is why we travel. This is why we explore other cultures. This is why we drink Bloody Marys for breakfast.

Some of the things I may be blogging about in the near future:

Why I cannot any more be a Voodoo-ist than I can be a Christian.


Why bras are completely and utterly a ridiculous cultural imprisoning garment foisted upon us by the male patriarchal society.

Why the cross is a sad and misguided anti-life symbol.

Why the Bloody Mary is the perfect food.

Why hotel-stuff is so great.

And more! Oh. So much more.

Maybe. We shall see.

But for now, here I am, home again at the Chicken Ranch. Not THAT sort of chicken ranch, babies. No. I was at that sort of chicken ranch last night where three darling young gay boys were hanging out beside the pool in their underwear and one of them looked at me as I crossed the courtyard to get an extra blanket from the front desk and said, "Hey, sexy." These three syllables were stretched into about fifteen syllables and then he blew me a kiss.
I said, "Hey yourself, sexy," and blew him back his kiss. He was drunk, he was happy. We were in New Orleans.

No. My chicken ranch is made up of real chickens. We got EIGHT eggs today. Oh, it's going to be a good Easter egg-dying event this year. It truly is.

And you know what? It was good to be there and now it is good to be here. I am missing my grandson so much I can't stand it and I have so much to do here this week between cleaning and gardening and yes, taking care of the chickens.

Mr. Moon is saying, Are you coming to bed? I need to make his smoothie for tomorrow. The dogs need to be roped and dragged into the house. I need to sleep and rest and perhaps dream of crazy colors and a place where every street corner is new adventure, every person has the opportunity to wear his underwear and show his ass if that's what he needs to do. Especially if it's a nice young ass. Where tits are shown and there are horses being led down the street on leashes smaller than dogs and where people call you baby and put their hand on your back when they call you that and where the lady in the fancy restaurant's powder room says, as she pulls some paper towels for you to dry your hands on, "In New Orleans, you don't ever have to be hungry and you don't ever have to be lonely," and you feel so bad because you don't have any money to leave in her tip jar, having left your purse back at the table.

Amen. Night-night. Sweet dreams.

Ah, love. I am home. I am so glad I left. I am so glad I came back.

I am home.

New Orleans, Day Two

For two people who started out the day drinking one of those I have to say we have been far less wild than you can imagine.
Imagine that.
And by the way- that was the best damn bloody mary I ever drank in my life. Pickled green beans? Dear god, yes.

I've never eaten them before but I hope to eat them again soon.

Another thing I've never done before today:
Eaten breakfast at a place where the menu made suggestions for wines to go with your breakfast courses.
First off- wine? With breakfast?
Secondly- courses? Breakfast courses?

Here's the waiter preparing the dessert course:


And that, my dears, is New Orleans.

So is this:
And this:



Here's my favorite picture of the day. Mr. Moon took it.


And here's two people who had a very lovely day being not very wild but having a really, really good time.



Night-night, y'all.