I Swear I Am Not Being Just A Whiney Baby

Another baby pumpkin. 

I woke up in the predawn this morning to the sound of rain and I figured there would be no walk today. About that time Maurice came in, announcing herself with her cry that usually means she has hunted and killed and that I'd find a nice tasty tidbit somewhere she'd left me. Then she jumped up on the bed and did her little circling of my head and body thing before she settled down in the nest of my crooked legs and went to sleep. 
And of course I went back to sleep too. There is hardly anything in the world cozier than being in bed with a cat with the sound of rain outside the window. 

However, by the time I got up, the only sign it had rained at all was all the water in the garden cart and the sparkle of wet leaves. The rain came and the rain left. 

Getting out of bed this morning I had a realization and a revelation and it was not a good one at all. What I realized was that the main reason I have not been walking isn't necessarily the heat or the time it takes or the effort it takes or anything like that at all. 

It's because when I walk regularly, my hips, my knee, my lower back, and my right leg all hurt. I was going to doctors thirty years ago for hip pain which they never found the cause of and yes, I was a regular walker then. I was such a regular, long-time walker that I just thought I had something wrong with my hips because they always hurt. I did notice that if I could not or did not walk for a period of time, I wasn't in pain. But I sort of always just accepted that one came with the other, pain came with walking, and that was that. Walking was (is) good for me. It's so good for my cardiovascular system. It's good for preventing osteoporosis, it's good for my strength and stamina. It's good for my mental health. All of those things, right? Plus more. 
And although I kind of realized it caused me pain, I figured that the benefits outweighed the fact that I hurt most of the time. I was used to it. This is simply the way I was. 
Am. 
As I got out of bed this morning, that familiar stiffness and discomfort was there. This was not the sort of pain you're in when you first start an exercise routine. This was...that old thing again. 

I walked anyway. I enjoyed the walk. It doesn't really hurt when I walk. I am not in great discomfort and the effort is not a big deal. I feel fairly strong when I walk. I like feeling that way. I stopped and talked to Mr. Abraham who lives near the fally-down house and who actually lived in it many, many years ago. He is 92 years old. 
Ever since I've lived here, I've seen him parked in his blue truck at the end of Main Street, the street he lives on, where it joins Highway 59. He sits and I guess he watches. This is not an unusual thing here in the south although usually the sitting and watching happens from a front porch. There is very little traffic on Main Street though, and so I guess he prefers the activity from where he parks his truck to the activity from his front yard. 
It has taken Abe all these years to feel comfortable talking with me, I think. I have always waved and said, "Hi!" as I passed and he has returned my wave with a brief one of his own, never really even making eye contact with me. 
One day, however, I believe I initiated conversation with him and he was obviously not enthusiastic about talking to me but he did tell me that he didn't like the fact that I walked a path that went through the woods. He was worried about bears and also about...well, men. I think. I thanked him and told him I'd never felt threatened at all walking that route and he just said something like, "Well. Okay."
He is a private person. 
But in the last few years he has warmed to me. One day I stopped on my walk when he was working in the yard across the street from his house where his sister Liola used to live and we talked for a very long time. He told me about the work he'd done and an accident he'd had which ended his career. I think he managed construction projects. He told me his wife had died and he told me that he had children. I asked a lot of questions because I am nosy and also, curious. 
He was a little looser that day. He told me not to stop walking because if I did, I might not be able to start again. I have never forgotten that. 
And in our encounter today, he was so very friendly. He felt like an old pal to me. We laughed and talked about not being able to tolerate the heat in our older age and how both of us were outside people who love working in our yards, our gardens. Of course he asked me how I'd been doing and he asked why I hadn't been walking. I gave him the same answer I gave the other guy on Tuesday which was that I am a lazy slob. 
I enjoyed that conversation more than I can say. I felt so very, very comfortable with him because I think he feels comfortable with me. 
And if I don't walk, I won't have these encounters. I won't feel strong and able. I won't see the ditch ferns and ditch lilies, the morning glories and the wild azaleas. I won't pass the house with the palm trees, the yards with crepe myrtle and azaleas and camellias. I don't get waves and hellos if I'm not walking. 
But. 
I do not like this pain. Since I lost weight my joints have felt so much better. I won't say I leap out of bed or out of chairs, but it's no problem at all and it doesn't hurt. 
It doesn't hurt.
Or it hasn't hurt up until yesterday. 
And on top of all of that, I've had a return of the pain I associate with damn kidney stones which have been quiet and well-behaved for months. It's a sort of pukey pain. That's the only way I can describe it and I do not like it. 
So what do I do? I'm not going to use a treadmill. Trust me. 
For years and years I did stretches and yoga to try and alleviate the hip and leg and knee pain. I got quite bendy in yoga and enjoyed it but it did nothing to help with that pain nor did the stretches. I went to a chiropractor. Or, several to be exact. That did little to nothing to help me. 
I'm not going to take up swimming laps. Perhaps bicycling would be a good substitute. Maybe. 
I don't know. I do know I cried when I told Glen about all this when he got home this afternoon. 

And that's my story today. 

I got the peas I picked the past few days shelled, combined them with peas I'd already shelled that were in the refrigerator, and blanched them and put them in freezer bags. They have joined their pea sisters and brothers in the garage freezer, all labeled and tidy. 

I watched a few episodes of The Bear. 

I made another bread dough and this time I'll be lining the baking vessel with parchment paper. 

And I picked a few of the last zinnias. 

And a phlox.

Oh, how I will miss their cheerful faces. 

The crows have just shown up. They are dining very late today. I wonder where they were earlier. Perhaps they had a family counseling appointment. Or they went to a crow movie. Or maybe their truck had a flat tire. Who knows? 
Not me. 
As usual. 

Love...Ms. Moon