That's what our cornbread looked like last night after it came out of the oven. Well, the air-fryer, toaster oven thing. I love it for baking biscuits and cornbread. It takes about half the time to get things done and it doesn't heat up the kitchen much. And for two people it's really perfect. Although you can't tell, that is a small skillet and that is just enough cornbread for us for two meals.
I went shopping today. It was sort of interesting. My plan was to go back to Target and get another pair of cargo shorts.
The end.
Well, it seems that since the last time I was in Target they have gotten some more interesting clothing and I spent some time looking around. When I finally got to the dressing room, I had an armful of things. A dress, a skirt, a pair of Levi's (!), a plain T-shirt, and a bathing suit.
Now I cannot begin to tell you when I last spent any time in a dressing room, excluding the last time I was in Target specifically for cargo shorts. So this was an experience. The lighting is of course horrible and the way the mirrors are so cleverly set up you can see both your back and your front which was curiously pleasing.
I know I'm almost 72 years old and have a lot of what we might call loose parts but just the fact that clothes that fit me look decent on me is sort of thrilling.
I wasn't even unhappy about the bathing suit. And I bought it because the one I ordered online is not looking like it'll be here before we leave and of course I must have a bathing suit for the lion pool as our landlords live in an adjoining house and I really don't want to cause any mental disturbance in them. We may also go to the beach. I mean- there's plenty of it. I think I would like that.
So I got the bathing suit, the cargo shorts, the t-shirt, and yes, I bought another pair of Levi's. I sort of can't control myself in that area.
I just, I just... well, it's been so long since I've felt comfortable in jeans. The jeans I'm buying are not what anyone call even vaguely sexy. I don't have a body like that. But again- I do not care. They are comfortable and well made and have good pockets.
It is hard to explain to anyone who has not had major body dysphoria their entire life how odd it is to look into a dressing room mirror and not feel shame and self anger at your image.
I felt neither of those today. Instead, I felt right. I felt normal. And that, my friends, is thrilling.
And I suppose my Levi's fixation is better than suddenly losing my mind over heroin.
Speaking of which, I was reading the daily NYT's book review I get online from them and stumbled on news of a new Rolling Stones biography by a well-regarded music journalist named Bob Spitz.
It is 704 pages long.
I have already ordered it. I wonder if I will learn anything new.
I must tell you that I'm pretty excited.
Glen finished planting the fruit trees today. And hey- I walked around in the garden again.
You see that cat there? She just bit me again. I know she likes me, otherwise why would she follow me around like she does? So why, why does she keep biting me?
As Glen and I say about fifty times a day, "That cat is insane."
I'd show you a picture of the wound as it's sort of interesting but I'll spare you.
Pottery tomorrow. And on Thursday morning I have to go get my blood drawn for the annual physical I'll be getting later on in May.
This does not bode well for my mental health.
Anyway...
Love...Ms. Moon
Dennis keeps bugging me about "annual physical ". Insisting that it is a good idea- it is not, I say. If something is telling me that I am not fit as a fiddle - I will let them know. Going to the doctor is not my favorite thing to do. I am sure that you are just fine. "there's a drug for that"...that is what they seem to do.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that you can try on clothing in bad light and mirrors without scolding yourself- I will never be that secure, not in this lifetime. I just ordered a couple of linen frocks from Quince- I have three already but I keep hoping- they fit like hefty bags and are not at all flattering but- hope is a delusional sister.
Love you XXOO
Well, speaking as one who is, yes, on quite a few drugs for this and for that, I pretty much have to get my annual. And you know I do love my doctor.
DeleteMy experience in the dressing room yesterday was quite unexpected. But I surely did appreciate it.
Have you tried any of the Flax linen dresses? They're what I live in in summer. You could try one of those, get it off e-bay, and it would not cost so much. I think their colors are the best. And they are loose, but somehow they feel flowy, not baggy.
Maurice! What is wrong with you? Stop biting the hand that feeds you!
ReplyDeleteLiterally!
DeleteYour cornbread looks delicious and a lot like the lemon ricotta cake I made last week. Same colour, same size. It was almost completely devoured by the ladies at the birthday gathering, I saved a couple of thin slices for the next day.
ReplyDeleteTsk tsk, Maurice! You can't start eating the body until it is dead! Be patient for the next ten years or so!
I love the sturdy frame behind the roses there. I don't think I will ever buy another swimsuit, I might just wear cotton sleep shorts and a t-shirt instead.
I do love a lemon cake. And lemon bars, too. So good.
DeleteYou made me laugh with the advice to Maurice. I wonder which one of us will die first. She's getting on in cat years but I'm getting on in human years.
That's the garden fence behind the roses.
My kids' cat is insane too. Goodness knows he must be used to me by now but that little bugger would rather bite than be stroked. Lenny the horrible ginger cat - yuck! There's no reasoning to it but I have a ginger cat that stalks around my back garden too and I can't stand it. And yet there are others that I'm quite attached too. Do you think it's ginger phobia?
ReplyDeleteI think it's possible that all ginger cats are simply not quite right. Perhaps a ginger phobia is not a terrible thing to have.
DeleteOh I have severe tomato envy!
ReplyDeleteI am someone who is not ever likely to be comfortable in my own skin. When we go someplace and I see people dancing or acting in an unselfconscious way, I envy them. I want to be like that. ..but I can't!
Now dancing- oh, girl. I was the dancer. As I always used to say, dancing is my favorite form of prayer. When I danced, I was completely at ease in my body.
DeleteYes, Maurice is clearly insane. Jeez! I’ve always been self critical, but have done ok at times. I haven’t felt good in my skin for a few years now. There’s still hope.
ReplyDeleteThere is, Mitchell! And you don't even need to lose weight.
DeleteYay you having new duds to wear, and a place you love to go wear them in! I forgot to say yesterday how I adore your new header! Such lovely photos today, even the orange cat who must have a bit of another orange being devil in her blood somehow. But since you sleep with her, she can't be all bad!
ReplyDeleteMaurice is actually pretty good to sleep with. I like it. She cuddles up to me, knowing that the Dad human will not tolerate such foolishness. He does love to hold her in his lap though.
DeleteHonestly, I think she's just crazy. She wants to love us but she can't help biting us.
Your garden looks terrific and so does your cornbread!
ReplyDeleteMy garden is looking tip-top right now. I think it is at its peak, beauty wise. And possibility wise too.
DeleteThat's how we cook our cornbread albeit in the oven. That's what I dislike most about shopping for new clothes, the trying on which I must do. Won't buy clothes unless I know they fit and look decent. You're going to have quite the fruit orchard.
ReplyDeleteI've been baking my biscuits in a skillet for the last few years too and that works out quite well.
DeleteTrying on clothes can be, well, trying, can't it?
I just really realized today that this new orchard/grove is going to be one more yard thing that we're going to have to keep up with. Weeding, watering, fertilizing, mulching...
What have we done?
You have tomatoes already! My plants are still indoors but I hear them whining about the sunshine and the heat. They want to be outdoors so badly.
ReplyDeleteYour garden looks lovely.
When clothes fit, it does feel good. My problem is my jeans, always my jeans. Apparently my waist, tummy, and hips are not typical. It's that time of year to look for another, comfortable pair. I tend to wear sweats all winter, nobody can see them under my winter coat, and really who cares. I think I'll head out this morning.
I have about four tomatoes that are fruiting. I'm sorry worried we'll be gone when they get ripe.
DeleteYour garden will be catching up soon. I know how that works.
My body isn't typical either. And let's ask the question - is there a typical woman's body? I don't have curves so much. My hip-waist ratio is not very large and I have generally found men's jeans to fit me better than women's.
Finding clothes that you like and feel-good wearing is always terrific.
ReplyDeleteThe garden looks outstanding with lots of new growth and blooms. The tomatoes are amazing looking.
Based on your success with grow bags, I bought one and around May 15 when we are assured of no night frost, I will attempt growing tomatoes in the bag.
Maurice must be having an off day which caused her to bite. Maybe she suspects you are going to Roseland.
I sure hope the grow bag works for you! It is certainly easier to control weeds and bugs in. And also to fertilize and water.
DeleteIf that's Maurice's problem, that she was having an off day, I have to say that every one of her days is an off day.
Sigh.
She doesn't mind when we go out of town if Mark is here. He takes good care of her. And spoils her, too, I think.
Bob Spitz wrote an excellent biography of The Beatles about 20 years ago. If he does for the Stones what he did for The Beatles you'll be pleased!
ReplyDeleteYes. He's written some "very well regarded" books on musicians and bands as the NYT's said. I am excited to dive in.
DeleteThis past winter I discovered American Eagle jeans at the secondhand store in town, and I LOVE them. They're nice and loose around the waist, where I can't stand anything tight, so I'm a convert and will be keeping my eyes open for more, down the line. Not that I need any more jeans. Crike-ees, I already have too many. Too many clothes, period; I know this because some have never been worn, but are packing my closet anyway. I've done the "hang the hanger up backwards" thing starting this winter, and have promised myself that next January anything hung not-backwards, meaning it hasn't been worn in a year, has got to go. Wish me luck. Because hey, I might need that black blazer to wear to a funeral, even though I've had it five years, been to a few, and still haven't worn it. -Kate
ReplyDeleteI like your turning the hanger backwards way of keeping track of what you wear and what you don't wear. I'm afraid that I already know what I wear and don't wear and STILL I do not get rid of most of the things I don't wear.
DeleteWhen I was a young hippie, Levi's were the only acceptable jeans to wear. Maybe Wranglers too. And truthfully, they were about the only two brands until everyone jumped in and started making jeans-like bellbottoms and so forth. I think I'm still a little snobby about that.
I have NO advice about the black blazer. I think all hoarding (not saying you're a hoarder!) begins with the thought, "I might need this some day." At least that's how I rationalize holding on to things I will never actually use.
I love cornbread but it tends to last till it's stale (or whatever it is that quickbreads do after a day or so) because I can't eat enough of it and Farmbeau doesn't seem to care for it. Aside from cutting my one-loaf recipe ingredients in half to make a small-pan-size loaf, do you have an actual recipe for two servings of cornbread? You've inspired me to make some while I'm home alone for the coming week and will eat it at every meal till it's gone, if I make an entire loaf. So far this week quite a few of my single suppers are fruit smoothies and buttered popcorn, but I might mix it up a little. -Kate
ReplyDeleteCan you refrigerate it? I know there's some rule about refrigerating all breads but to hell with that. I do it anyway. Easily restored by a little time in the toaster oven, wrapped in aluminum foil.
DeleteI just make half the recipe. And like I said, it makes enough for two meals.
Darling Mary-It's been WAYYY too long since I've written to you. What to report? Tomatoes? Really. Boy that southern sunshine! Well, I've been injured since last December (dancing and forest stewarding of all things) and about to have a knee replaced. I'm in good company with all my pool buddies, a bunch of us (ahem) elders with replaced parts. Both kids are coming to take care of me for two weeks.
ReplyDeleteThe old dog is gone and so it the cat but there are two rambunctious ginger brothers who reside at the Elderberry House now. Garden is planted, have found 'miner's lettuce', self seeding and very tasty. Lilacs are blooming, the dogwood that has staggered along is covered with blooms for the first time. Have stopped almost all my volunteer activities until my knee is fixed. The last several months have been a real challenge with chronic pain but better now, until surgery next week!! Old age is a blast.
Have been writing young adult fiction (complete with smut ;-/) for the last few years. Like I was in a fever. It's been super fun. I even have a friend on the East Coast who does my editing, amidst arguing. Alright, I'll wrap up. My goal is to be good enough to be back swimming in the lake before winter sets in. And of course, send love and compassion in all directions.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Beth
I am so glad to hear from you, Beth! And I'm glad to hear you're getting the surgery you need. Just think- the pain and the struggle will be replaced by titanium and strength! I guess they use titanium. And what wonderful children you have to come and take care of their mama.
DeleteNever heard of Miner's Lettuce. Huh. I have discovered that I can grow arugula all year around and that makes me happy. It gets way too hot here in summer for other lettuces and most greens.
Are your ginger cats insane or is that just mine?
I love, love, LOVE that you are writing YA fiction, smut and all! At first I thought to myself, "Wait. What?" But then, it made perfect sense to me! Keep it UP!
And love and compassion always, to you.