That's the only decent picture I've taken all day long. It's a photo of one of the volunteer squashes which is making a squash. Now we shall see what sort it is. Any guesses? I'm still guessing acorn. If every one of the volunteers puts forth a few squash, we shall have an abundance of them.
I am tired. I got up BEFORE SEVEN this morning to get to my blood draw appointment. It wasn't that hard, really. I felt fine and even cheerful. Cheerful enough that when I glimpsed something on the floor near my bathroom door when it was still mostly dark but not entirely and I didn't have my glasses on so everything was fuzzy anyway but it occurred to me that whatever the object was, it seemed to be rodent shaped, I didn't freak out.
I vaguely remembered Maurice coming into our room last night making her "I have brought you food!" call. I was deeply asleep and barely woke up. It did register that she might have had a successful hunt but I was not going to deal with it then.
And when I came out of the bathroom and it was lighter and I had my glasses on, I saw that indeed, she had brought us a mouse, quite a large mouse, in fact, so neatly killed that I didn't see a mark on it.
I will admit I didn't look at it too closely.
I got the broom and the dustpan and took care of the little thing, tossing her out into the bushes on the other side of the yard. Glen would have done it but he was not in the best of moods, having had terrible dreams all night which is most unusual for him.
I thanked Maurice and then told her, "DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!"
Right. She never listens to a thing I say. She usually only brings home game when Glen's out of town, feeling certain that I can't feed myself without his help so she steps in. Perhaps last night she sensed that he was not 100% himself and so did us both a favor by bringing us that tasty morsel.
She's thoughtful like that.
So I went and got my blood drawn and I cannot tell you how much I hate that. Not the actual puncture and withdrawal of blood from my vein. That doesn't really bother me.
I'm sure I've mentioned this before but the thing I hate about it is that everyone should be able to keep some secrets. You know? The deepest darkest secrets. Things that are so private that you have no desire to share them with anyone. I think I am especially prone to believe this because of my childhood (surprise! surprise!) when I wasn't allowed to have a lock on my bedroom door because...
Well, my stepfather said so. Which meant that I spent years in subconscious (and sometimes quite conscious) terror that he could and would enter my room at any time, even in the darkest parts of the night.
Back to blood.
When my blood is drawn and then analyzed for signs of the myriad of things that could be wrong with me, or that are simply happening in my own personal private body, I get a feeling that I can't even explain. It is somewhat like terror, though.
It is also like an unwelcome invasion of the very essence of me, my very lifeblood.
And no, this makes no sense but humans are not always logical creatures. I could go to my "patient portal" and read the results. They have already been posted.
But will I?
Oh hell, fucking no.
If something has shown up that can't wait until my appointment with my doctor nearer the end of May, he can call me. Otherwise, ignorance is bliss. I cannot begin to understand people who jump right on that information. My husband being one of them. He prints them out and keeps them in a folder!
Who IS this man?
So that was that. By the time I got home, Glen had already gone to the cabin to meet some guys who were going to help him move things back into the house from the porch where the flooring guys had moved them when they did their disastrous work.
And I do not think that he's going to be able to live with that floor the way it is so I don't know what he's going to do. He told me the other day that he just wants to go fishing! Which is why he bought the place and now it's turned into this huge project which is taking forever because he's doing so much of the work by himself.
Well.
I don't really know what to say.
I spent the rest of the day here doing one little thing after another from organizing my shirt drawer to weeding outside the fence where the Seminole pumpkins are growing to doing a lot of laundry to making a dessert that Jessie has requested for her birthday.
Which is tomorrow.
Pedicures and lunch are going to be involved.
In 2008 I wrote a post about Jessie's birthday and her birth and I don't think I could do nearly as fine a job now in writing that story as I did then so I give you the link if you want to read about it.
When I think about the fact that Jessie has birthed two children of her own and that I got to be with her when she did, and that her sisters and brother and daddy and of course her husband were with her too, I can't help but tear up.
I have no more words tonight.
Love...Ms. Moon
"I don't really know what to say..." Yup! Best to keep your true thoughts about the lake cabin to yourself. As for Jessie's birthday dessert, I hope you make the Atacama Dessert rather than the Sahara Dessert which can be rather dry.
ReplyDeleteAs to the lake house- no matter how I feel about the house itself, I love my husband and want him to be able to enjoy his dream.
DeleteThis dessert was NOT dry. Trust me.
Maurice! You are so thoughtful! But don’t do it again!
ReplyDeleteI want that carrot cake now and am envious of your night-before birth story. It’s beautiful and I love how natural it is. And May’s memory she shared is so sweet.
I feel badly for Mr.Moon’s floor at the cabin. He’s seemingly trying so hard to just get it done so he can fish, but the basement got fucked up by hacks. Not cool since he’s so stand-up. I hope this gets remedied.
And we all have the triggers. You getting your blood drawn is something. I get it. I’m more like Mr.Moon. I check the portal at stoplights on the way home.
-Nicol
I LOVE May's memory on that post. I can just see Anne grasping May to her lovely bosom. So precious. And the whole birth was sort of the perfect home birth for all the reasons that people want home birth.
DeleteI read your comment last night and have been thinking all day about you reading the results of your tests at stoplights on the way home. I can't even imagine!
Yeah. I do understand. All of it. I will spend my summer preparing one last house for sale. I do not want to. I don't want to go fishing, but I do want to be done with working.
ReplyDeleteOh, Debby. I thought y'all were done. I am so sorry.
DeleteWe are getting the old house in town ready to go on the market. There is a list.
DeleteWhen you take pride in your own work, and hire out for a job by someone else, and it doesn't meet your standards, its like a betrayal. The man code has been dishonored. I'm sure Mr. Moon will come up with something. And I hope it will bring him back to the thrill he felt in the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. Glen feels very much betrayed. He will come up with something but he absolutely hates the loss of time and money.
DeleteI hope Mr Moon doesn't end up doing that floor himself after all this. I do check my lab results quickly. In fact I'm glad I can just do it myself instead of waiting for the nurse to call me. I just check that everything is in or near the green zone. I'd rather know!
ReplyDeleteAnd there are people like you are, shall we say, a bit more realistic than some of us? As in- you face reality whereas we're not. Until we have to.
DeleteI don't know that Glen would even consider doing that floor himself. I hope not.
Happy Birthday to Jessie! I'm sorry blood draws cause you so much concern, but also agree that waiting for results until you see your doctor is okay.
ReplyDeleteThat floor is probably what's giving Glen nightmares!
That floor may indeed be the source of his nightmares.
DeleteI went back to read Jessie's birth story and two things stood out:
ReplyDelete1- "no struggle to get this one going" and I am wondering did the others have trouble?
2- "only seven and a half pounds" -and you call that little? Now I know why mine were so easy to birth, not a single one was even seven pounds. The heaviest was 6 pounds12 ounces.
Well, your questions are related. Lily weight 10 lbs, 2 oz at birth and also had her little hand up by her head, making it even harder to push her out. She had what is called shoulder dystocia, which means that her shoulders were broader than her head which is usually the largest part of the baby to emerge. This can be an extremely frightening and dangerous situation. There are ways to deal with it though, and that's what we did. We dealt with it but when she was born, there was a little bit of time when she was not responsive. She got busy with life very quickly after that but it was scary. Jessie notified the universe that she had arrived immediately.
DeleteHank weighed nine pounds, I think, and May in about the same range as Jessie. I believe.
That sounds very painful with Lily's wider shoulders!
DeleteThe part I hate about having lab work done is peeing in a cup -- walking down the hall with the empty cup and then walking back with it full for all the world to see -- and then handing it to a staffer! I wish I could be more like you and not look at my results. I jump to conclusions and the doctor will invariably say, “well, that number is nothing to worry about” after I’ve stewed for days. Jerry prints out and saves every single one. I normally wouldn’t but have had to lately when switching from cities and medical services.
ReplyDeleteWhat they mostly do at all of my doctors is send you to a restroom with a cup to pee in that is already labeled with your name and after one has fulfilled one's purpose in that room, there is a little metal doorway that you open and set the cup inside the space revealed there. There's another door on the other side of the space that the tech opens to retrieve your cup. So- no toting pee-filled cups about.
DeleteOur privacy is insured!
I can only imagine that you absolutely need to keep a paper record of your medical visits and tests and so forth to hand to doctors.
I remember those little secret doors in the States. Spaniards aren’t so shy. I’ve loosened up quite a bit.
DeleteJust read the Jessie birthday post. I’ve got tears in my eyes!
ReplyDeleteOh, Mitchell! It was the sweetest day. All of my birth days were the sweetest days.
DeleteMy husband is made from the same cloth as Mr. Moon. Other than roofing, he's done virtually every home repair or improvement that we've done to our house. After years and years of waiting and not having enough time to do the job himself, we've hired contractors for a complete master bath re-model. He's practically got hives with a crew of workers in the house every single day ripping things out, laying flooring, moving various plumbing components, etc.. When they leave, he dashes to see what they've completed. And then all the refiguring and analyzing begins. When you're married to one of these fellows, it's a blessing and a curse all rolled in one. The fact is simple: they do the work best themselves, and it drives them to near distraction to have others apply their craft to our homes.
ReplyDeleteOh god. You GET it. Exactly! It is a blessing and a curse. Glen doesn't want to hire anyone to do what he can do but being able to do something and actually doing it are two entirely different things. As you know. And when those guys are perfectionists! Holy shit. It's an almost impossible situation.
DeleteWhen I finally gather up the courage to go to the doctor(s) the last thing I would do is look at the portal with results. That's what the doctor is there for! If I need to know, they'll tell me. My husband, however, religiously checks every little thing. And that's why we've been married for almost 50 years. Total opposites in practically every way
ReplyDeleteYep. Your philosophy versus your husband's sounds exactly like what goes on here. Glen and I pretty much opposite in a lot of ways but thankfully, the very most important things are things we have in common.
DeleteHappy Birthday to Jessie! Hope she has a fabulous year filled with lots of fun adventures, much laughter, good health, and lots of love.
ReplyDeleteMe too!
DeleteNot acorn. I know this because I have a volunteer acorn squash and it didn't start out looking like that. Maybe butternut. Is the vine long and snaky instead of sort of bushy? There is a mouse in this house and Cat is NOT doing her job!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'd really much rather it be butternut, to be honest. Last year I had a volunteer delicata and that is my favorite of all. I wonder what the odds are of these squash being one of those. Or it could just be a yellow squash. Time will tell. The vines at this point are fairly bushy.
DeleteI think Maurice brings mice in from outside. We may have a few mice in this house but I see no sign of it at this point. You need to have a stern talk with Cat.
I don't think Maurice is stepping in to help keep you fed-- my take is that she's sweet-talking you because she's uneasy that her favorite person isn't around (or isn't quite functioning normally). Suddenly you're the only game in town! Sort of like bringing a pan of brownies to charm a neighbor you've had an iffy relationships with. (At least, that's what my cats-- who are experts at switching to "supplicant mode"-- told me when I asked them.)
ReplyDeleteWell, you could be quite right. I have to tell you something funny- when I read you refer to Glen as "her favorite person" I was so jealous for a second. Like, "Uh-uh. I'M her favorite person."
DeleteShe bites us both so who knows?
Umm...I think I referred to Glen as the favorite person because you've described your home's cat/human dynamic that way yourself!
Delete(I am the clear favorite in my household, but if we had a dog, I'd definitely be the also-ran. My husband inspires an instant crush in nearly dog he meets. So I understand the jealousy!)
I have no input on the squash. It's sweet that Maurice is caring for you. I wonder if Mr. Moon will ever reach a point in which the desire to go fishing outweighs the desire to fix the floor, in which case, maybe he can live with it?
ReplyDeleteHe does fish at times but he's not living the fishing dream if you know what I mean. He wants to LEARN that lake.
DeleteI really don't think he'll be able to live with that floor.
Cheers to Jessie on her special day.
ReplyDeleteLately I find there is some shoddy work being done.
My mini splits require yearly service and this year it has taken three visits instead of one to do normal maintenance. Up-charging is real. The work was done to perfection, but the charges were 3X the norm.
Three visits to do normal maintenance on mini-splits? WTF? At least the work was done well. There is that.
DeleteI read Jessie's birth story, beautiful. Happy birthday to her.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing how you feel about blood work, it's good info for nurses to have because we/I don't understand why it's scary.
Sending hugs and I hope that fucking floor at the cabin gets fixed, and perhaps Mr. Moon should hire help, but then he would have to admit to himself that he's not as young as he once was.
I'm in hell today because husband went to work without giving Jack his ADHD medicine and I slept in until 9am, too late to give him his medicine, and Jack is off school today so I'm now herding a noisy, hyperactive squirrel all day and I'm losing my shit:)
Oh, I really don't think he's going to try and redo that floor by himself. I think he is growing weary of the flooring business. And I don't know that he'll ever admit to not being able to do what he used to do.
DeleteOh god. Yes. It sounds like you did indeed have a losing-your-shit day for good reason.
Happiest birthday wishes to Jessie. I'm sure the dessert will be wonderful. (Warning, I'm going to talk about IV needles) I hate blood draws because my veins are tiny and I have thin skin, and they now say they are "difficult." (They have been at least 15 years). So the best of them use the tiny needles on the back of my hands, and once the needle is hunting around under the skin, I don't feel anything, but the poor nurse is just pulling it this way and pushing it that way, and finally gets it to go into the vein, and tries so hard to keep it pumping blood into all those little vials. I'm getting myself psyched up for another draw next Wed. When I was in the hospital they used ultrasound to see under the skin deeper to put in a med line, which stays in place as long as IV's or blood draws are needed. I wish they'd started with that, since daily more of n veins failed and had to be replaced. Such a lot of bruises I brought home!
ReplyDeleteThe idea of needles doesn't bother me much at all although if I had to go through what YOU have to go through to just get blood drawn, I would hate them with a passion. It must be so frustrating to have to go through all of that for a simple blood draw. Not simple for you. Sounds like the med line was a good procedure for you when you were in the hospital. I bet you were horribly bruised. I am so sorry.
DeleteA gorgeous birth story - happy anniversary of being Jessie's mother. I have just caught up on your week - yay for fruit trees, boo to ants, yay for boats and fishing, boo to floors and tooth pain. When V was bedridden before he got the new knees, we had a half-renovated bathroom that needed sheeting so I got a guy to do that. The next day V hobbled out of bed to rip out and rehang the sheeting because the guy did a shoddy job. Very aargh!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, jeanie! That sounds exactly like something Glen would do. Forget the crippling pain of bad knees! Must go hang sheet rock! Get out of my way!
Delete