Wednesday, November 3, 2021

I Am Fine


 Oh, y'all! I feel I may have scared some of you at the thought of getting your boosters! I need to reassure you that it wasn't that bad. I mean, nothing like the flu where even your hair and teeth hurt. It was not agonizing nor was it painful. I was just a bit achy and so very, very tired with a few chills and probably a little fever. As I said in response to a comment- a guilt-free day spent in bed is not so bad! In fact, by last evening, I made that lovely focaccia you see in the picture so how bad could it have been? 

I went to bed relatively early (again- no sacrifice for me) and finished the Auroville book. I'm still not quite sure why the couple moved back. There was no real defining reason, it seems to me, but more of a desire to allow their children to grow up in a freer and more natural setting along with their hopes to try and figure out some of the reasons for the deaths of the wife's mother and stepfather, which I think is quite brave of her. Her childhood was traumatic, to say the least, and for her to attempt to go back and understand the basis for some of those traumas shows a lot of strength. And there are no rules in Auroville about accepting the philosophy of the founding Mother. So there is that. 
Still, it's not something I would want to do although I guess I have some understanding of it when I think of how much I love Roseland which was a place where I, as a child, suffered greatly in many ways, and yet love to this day because even as I experienced horrible things, the river, the woods, the trees- these things gave me solace and I always had a strong sense that Roseland itself was not the source of my pain. 

This is why I don't do book reviews, I suppose. I have a tendency to insert myself into the stories but honestly- how else can one view a story except through the lens of one's own life and experiences? This is why a book that may ring true and clear to one person is a muggled mess to someone else. Of course, some books are sheer entertainment and that, too, is fine. 

Anyway...I slept a good long time last night but with insane (even for me) dreams including one that found me left behind at Costco after closing and somehow, that dream was the scariest and weirdest of all. The feeling I had when I realized that the store was empty and dark and I was alone was so eerie even though the exit was still open! And then I had to find my car...
Well. I can't explain why that dream affected me so but it did. I was very grateful to wake up and watch it all dissolve in the morning light as I comforted myself by scratching Jack's head. 

And I've felt mostly fine today. Not quite 100% but close. I didn't do much though. It's been one of those days that simply floats by. I did a little mending, some of which displeased me so that I've pulled out the stitches. I made an apple fritter cake that a friend recommended from the King Arthur website. It is cooling now. I had apples I needed to use up and now I have. Mostly it's just been a day of contentment, stillness and ease. I have doors and windows open so that I haven't felt closed-in at all. Right now I'm on the back porch and as usual at this time of day, the chickens are rustling through the fallen magnolia leaves which are so sturdy that they do not truly disappear for years. I know that they are the bane of some people's lives and they rake them and curse but we just leave them where they fall and I love their sound as my chickens scratch them about.

So it goes, so it goes. The sinking sun is painting the oak trees by the railroad tracks golden, the firespike just beyond the porch neon crimson. This is one of those plain, simple days that on my deathbed I would hope to look back on as a perfect example of the perfection of life although it has been so simple and non-eventful that it probably won't even register as a memory. 
And that says so very much. 

Be well.

Love...Ms. Moon

23 comments:

  1. Auroville- the you tube clips and the bio of The Muthah...Probably would have appealed to me when I was 22 and dumber than the freshly driven snow. But now, so much NOPE. What a weird damned place with a golden golf ball as the center and white men running around raping the little brown children. The Muthah just stating common sense stuff and calling it god inspired, i dunno.I wonder how they have gotten away with this invention for so long.I know nothing.

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    1. Woman- I am with you. I understand nothing about that place. The book I just read focused far more on the couple who were the author's wife's parents than anything although there was a lot of other information. I just couldn't grasp the gist of it all. On the one hand- great that all that reforestation happened. Also, that there is no requirement to believe in any one type of religion or spirituality. And on the other hand- a lot of crazy people were involved in the very beginnings and building of the community and a lot of fucked-up politics came into play.

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  2. The guys at SHARE were talking a couple of weeks ago about how much they hated magnolia trees for just that reason, the leaves. I just let them lay here too. So what if there's no grass under that tree.

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    1. Exactly. What's the deal with grass? Why is it so great?

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  3. My hubby was tired after his flu shot, I was thinking booster and then realized it was the flu.

    I'm reading a book right now about fucked up Mormons called Educated by Tara Westover. It's sad.

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    1. That book is amazing. She was not raised in a traditional Mormon family, more of a fundamentalist Mormon family. But what struck me about the book is how incredibly strong the human spirit can be. I think about it a lot.

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  4. Mary so glad you are feeling better. Wanted to ask you which Auroville book you read. Amazon UK has lots of different ones. Have ordered the Tara Westover one mentioned by you and another friend. Cults were rife in 70ss when l a damaged child lost soul youngster/adult was treading the hippie path. I did dabble in one myself. Fortunately my inbred bullshit monitor and atheist lapsed methodist WW2 VET Father was a contrast to my seriously religious grandmother (mum died when l was 7)l had to go to church 5 times on a Sunday Church School Religion every morning and yet more church Wednesday made me easy pickings for cult but as l say due to dad's disdain of it all l rebelled against church and although still believing the indoctrination hence cult was able to get out Many still in to this day Sorry gone on. Just the name of book author would be great. Love from across the pond. Maggi xxx

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    1. The name of that book is "Better to Have Gone: Love, Death, and the Quest For Utopia in Auroville." The author is Akash Kapur.
      Interesting that you were once a cult dabbler! Would I know it if you named it?

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    2. DIVINE LIGHT MISSION NOW Elan Vitel not right spelling Guru Maharaji Indian guy. Lives in Malibu plane with gold toilet. We were premies. Lovers of Light. Utter Bullshit Ah the 70s There is an ex premie sie l used to go on can't remember name ex premier org maybeMaggi

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    3. DIVINE LIGHT MISSION NOW Elan Vitel not right spelling Guru Maharaji Indian guy. Lives in Malibu plane with gold toilet. We were premies. Lovers of Light. Utter Bullshit Ah the 70s There is an ex premie sie l used to go on can't remember name ex premier org maybe Maggi

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    4. He's called Prem Rawat now x

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  5. I'm so glad to hear you're doing better. You had me worried there!

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  6. That deep weary drifting in and out of sleep can be quite delicious I find. If that's what you experienced then I am relieved. I had virtually no reaction to the booster, just a slightly sore arm. I hope my immune system is doing its thing regardless. I'll see if I can find that article I edited on Auroville. The magazine I was working for has changed corporate hands three times since then.

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    1. Yes. It was that delicious drifting and then falling completely. It was a sort of heaven. I'm sure your immune system is as strong as mine. We all just react differently. If it's easy to find that article, I'd love to read it but please don't go to too much trouble! I know you have so much on your plate, dearheart.

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  7. Glad you are feeling better. I just have a bit of a sore arm that woke me up last night but it gets better with Tylenol. I think I will be able to do my morning online Zumba (I just won't wave my left arm so much!)
    I just finished a book I really enjoyed and couldn't put down, West With Giraffes. Have you heard of it? I thought it was great! and way different from the mysteries I usually read!

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    1. I'm glad you are feeling well, Ellen.
      I have not ever heard of that book but will look out for it. Goodreads gave it four and a half stars which is unusually high.

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  8. I used to love burning the old magnolia leaves on our burn pile. They crackle LOUDLY!I'm glad you're feeling better and thanks for the reassurance re. the booster! I'll get it no matter what but I'm not really looking forward to it.

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    1. Have you ever burned bamboo? It's like little rockets going off.
      Yeah. Get your booster. Better than getting covid, no matter what.

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  9. I got Johnson and Johnson initially, so I'm eligible for a booster and have an appt to get Moderna this afternoon. I'm planning for a day of ick tomorrow but excited to get more protection.

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