Sunday, November 7, 2021

Green Therapy


 Here you have the Chinese rice paper plant, Tetrapanax Papyrifer. It is, as they say, a showy plant, an exotic and dramatic addition to your landscaping. 

It is also a plant from hell when introduced here in North Florida as it multiplies by suckers and although relatively easy to pull up, especially when young, those sucker roots do not come up when you pull the plants and as far as I know, you never really get rid of them. 
Just one more GD invasive growing in this yard which I'm sure seemed like a good idea when they were planted. 
The plants are also covered with a dust that flies up from them when you pull them, going directly into your nose and throat, irritating everything in those passages, resulting in coughing and sneezing. Masks are required when removing them. 

Anyway, today I got all of the ones I could see although I am under no delusions that they won't be popping up babies soon. If not now, then definitely in spring. 

Here's another crazy thing that grows here:


I believe this is a smilax vine but I just call them a fucking scary plant. There are smaller varieties than this which are mostly just very, very annoying as they just grab you and pierce your skin with their little prickles but as you can see from the picture above, you could use one of those vines to kill someone with. Well, if you wanted to kill someone slowly and extremely painfully. I don't even try to dig those things up. I just slice into the root with a shovel and then pull the vine down from the tree and electric lines it crawls along. They can get to be at least twelve feet long in my experience. So I cut and pulled a few of those too. 

So that's mostly what I did today, filling up the garden cart and taking the pulled and cut plants to the burn pile because you cannot just leave those paper plants to compost because you will soon have an entire jungle patch of them. This is true of all of the invasives. They just really want to live. 
And don't we all?

While I worked, my little tiger girl kept me company for awhile. 


I was glad to see her. She has lately become most enamored of Mr. Moon, joining him in his chair every time he sits down in it. 
"Maurice," he says to her, "This is becoming a bad habit."
"Shut-up," she snarls. 
I'm sure that's what she's saying. If I have the effrontery to lean in to kiss my husband, she snarls at me and often jumps off the chair and races from the room as if to tell me that I have ruined everything. 
She's like a twelve-year old girl, stuck in constant rage at Mom. So it was nice that she came to witness my efforts in the yard although who knows? She may have just been laughing at me. 
While I was working, Pinot strode by. I pulled my mask down and said, "Hey!" and he did not even look at me. 
What the hell have I done to piss him off? I have no idea. 

So it goes in Lloyd and I am feeling as if my nerves are frayed and sparking with electricity. Tomorrow I have a mammogram at 11:25 which is really not a big deal. For whatever reason I don't have quite the anxiety about getting my bosoms smushed between two plates and shot through with radiation as I do about, oh- getting the results of bloodwork at my annual physical exam. But it IS a medical procedure and I WILL be going to that medical procedure building and of course there always is the possibility that all is not well with my bosoms although I think they're fine. 
As I have said so many times, I am just crazy. 
There is absolutely more that I am feeling anxious about but that has everything to do with my social anxiety and nothing to do with bloodwork or tit-squishing. I will go into that as the week progresses. 

Honestly, all is very well and I am already adjusted to the time change as I demonstrated by waking up at 8:30 (new time) this morning. The crazy dream of that sleep was being in a water aerobics or possibly water yoga class with my husband and Bill Murray. That was pretty fun. No Mormons were involved. 
I am glad to have gotten those plants out of the yard, even if they will magically reappear and I have further tried to deal with my anxiety by making a soup of venison, sweet potatoes, and vegetables. I also got to talk to Lis and that was a pleasure of the highest order. So my soup is simmering, I have a Dutch oven full of sourdough bread baking and once again, my husband is in the deer stand. He came home empty-handed and empty-trucked last night so we shall see how it goes tonight. Will he catch a deer as I insist on saying? 
Who knows? Not me. 

I guess that's all I have to say for now. 

Love...Ms. Moon


Ferns which are not invasive because I say so.

23 comments:

  1. Next time I visit a garden centre, I must say to a member of staff, "Excuse me but I am looking for a fucking scary plant. Do you have them in stock?"

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    1. Heh-heh. I bet that whomever you ask will be able to show you his or her candidate for that name or title.

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  2. Completely understand your medical procedure phobia! I have invasive bindweed. Does that grow in your neck of the woods? -Jenn

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    1. Of course. We have ALL the invasives as far as I know.

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  3. Oh yes, the tit squishing. I hope and trust all goes well and undramatically.
    Sounds as if Maurice believes she's in a triangle there, very exciting.

    You were in my dream last night. You took me on vacation, insisted on providing everything, kept cooking, saying no, it's our pleasure. I felt as if it wasn't but I had no way to leave! How weird being uncomfortable in a dream because someone's being a warm hostess! Says more about me than about the divine ms M.

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    1. That's so funny! I'm very, very sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable in dream world. I wonder what it says about both of us?

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  4. that smilax *thing* looks deadly. Yikes! Glad you are cooler and able to comfortably work outdoors with your cat spirit helping! I have an order for mammo but haven't done yet....... will do soon. Not the squishing I worry over, but the fact that every 3 times or so, I get called back for *more views*. That is always anxiety provoking......so I put it off as long as possible. May all go well for you
    Susan M

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    1. Yes. The "more views" notice. I hate, hate, hate those. Physical discomfort is nothing compared to anxiety. I don't blame you for putting it off.

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  5. Do you ever feel like mother nature hates Floridians? Although she's tough on us as well, what with the cold, but mother nature seems to have a lot of plants down there that make life miserable. In BC, in the rainforests, there is a plant called devil's club.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_club

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    1. Devil's club looks very much like the vine in that picture. Yes, in some ways I do feel like Mother Nature hates Florida but then again, we have some of the most beautiful rivers and beaches and woods, too. So there is that.

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  6. I was thinking my recent tussling with fear/anxiety was just me. Perhaps we are just the early-warners of the state of the world going over the line. It is not like me to feel emotionally fragile - never had this before and I don't like it.

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    1. Hope this doesn't appear twice - the publish button on my side of the computer seems to be acting up!

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    2. Nope. Just once.
      My real anxiety started about the time I was in peri-menopause and then really hit when I was in full-blown menopause. It's a horrible, horrible thing.

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  7. I have similax, also called greenbriar, in my yard too, the thorny and the non-thorny kinds. I usually call the iron weed because those skinny vines might as well be wire. I hate the fuckers. My dreams last night were more bizarre than usual.

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    1. I hate them too, Ellen.
      As to dreams- I can't even discuss the one I had early this morning. It was truly horrifying. I'll just say that a shovel and a brain were involved.

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  8. I am usually just glad to have anything growing in my garden beds because I am not a very good gardener! Altho, the tall crab grass coming through the ground cover does bug me. From far away, if everything looks green, then I'm good! :)

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    1. I hear you! Our border grass is so out of control that we just cut it and tada! Grass. Sort of.

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  9. At least the smilax is native. A friend of mine pulled a bunch from her mom's yard and I was astonished to see (from her pictures) that the roots are like gigantic potatoes. No WONDER they never die.

    I do think the rice paper plant is pretty. It's a shame it's so obnoxious.

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    1. Yes. The roots look like some alien tuber. And they are tough as wood.
      I agree with you on the rice paper plant. It is pretty. And showy. But damn! Too much of a good thing is still too much.

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  10. I think I'm due for a mammo too (I guess the doctor will tell me on Friday). I know some women dread them but I can't say I find them painful at all and as always it's better to get it done than to avoid it, isn't it!

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    1. Mine today was a bit painful and they're usually not. Oh well. I hope I get a good report.

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  11. Yes, 'fucking scary plant' sums it up. But imagine catching (presumably by hunting) a deer - that would be well beyond me, or even my imagination

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    1. Unfortunately, I CAN imagine catching (yes, shooting) a deer but only because I've seen (and eaten, of course) the results. It is not for the faint of heart.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.