Thursday, June 5, 2014

Loving Hard

Oh my glory. Last night was...well, one of our parties.
May brought me those flowers and I've never seen more beautiful. I swooned as I cut their ends and put them in the vase.
"Having you wasn't THAT hard," I told her.
I was overwhelmed.

It was a good cast of characters. Hank and Anna and Taylor and May and Michael and Lily and Jason and Owen and Gibson.
This is what Gibson's cast looks like.

It goes all the way up to his diaper. And he's handling it so beautifully. It's just his new reality but he broke my heart, shattered it, when he came in last night. His daddy set him down on the floor and Owen rushed up to see his brother (they had been separated all afternoon) and Gibson said in his husky little man voice, "Look Owen! It okay now! I walk!" 
And then he slipped and almost fell and we all reached for him but it made him cry and he didn't want to try to walk any more after that although we put thick rubber bands around the foot to make it non-slip. But he had a good time being passed from person to person and playing Wii games with Daddy and Boppy and Owen. 
The doctor told Lily to let him do whatever he wanted to do and could do within the confines of the cast and I'm sure he'll be getting around fine in a day or two but still- it's hard to see. No more swimming, no running around and it'll be hot and itchy. They're going to take it off in a week, do another X-ray, see what's what. I am just hoping that it heals miraculously fast. 

I set up the ceviche in the kitchen with chips and diced avocados and the macha sauce I made with plain old crushed red peppers and everyone went crazy. It was delicious and when it was time to eat the okra and tomatoes and corn bread, we were already mostly full but we managed to eat some of those too. Between the supper and the cake-time, Mr. Moon set up the telescope outside and showed Owen the moon and he came in to get me so that I could look too. It was so awesome. Owen helped me put the chickens up in the dark, he helped me count them, make sure they were all safe. He is growing up so fast. Here he is, doing his now traditional job of putting the candles on the cake. 

Which yes, was getting a bit slidey in the heat. Oh well. It ate beautifully. His daddy and I even let him help light the candles with a big kitchen match. No one got burned. 

And wishes were made and candles blown out. 

I wonder how many times in my life we have done this as a family. And it's always good. Always. 

My beautiful May. My beautiful children. I can't wait until Jessie and Vergil move back and we will all truly be together for these celebrations. 

Owen and Gibson helped unwrap presents. 

There was approval.

And Owen got so tired that he started saying, "Can we leave?" and people packed up leftovers and dishes were washed and kisses and hugs given and the telescope put away and people left and the house was quiet again and we were so tired. 
A long day. A good day, even with a broken leg involved and I know that Gibson is going to be fine but it doesn't mean that my heart is not sore that his mobility has become so much lessened. His spirit has certainly not been. He liked it that we all signed his cast with markers and he seems a bit mystified that we're all so concerned about him.  As Taylor said on Facebook, "That baby is so cool and nonchalant about that cast." He seems to be in no pain at all. And that is the best. 

"Whose birthday is next?" Owen asked me when we went out to look at the moon.
"Hank's," I told him. "Then your daddy's."
"And then who?"
"Boppy's and then mine. And then yours and your mama's."

It is the season of birthdays, it is another season of our lives. Whatever happens, we have each other to love and be loved by, to celebrate with, to hold on to, to hold up, to catch if we slip, to tend if we fall. 

I think that's why we're here. Here's what Tearful said yesterday:

I hope you are feeling happy and blessed, I hope you are loved real hard by everyone around you, I hope you love them back even harder we are going to be dead for a long fucking time.


Loving you...Ms. Moon


  1. God that breaks my heart about that busted leg. Kid is a real trooper, tough as woodpecker lips.


    You got a goddamn love factory goin' there in Lloyd, is what. It lights up the sky I can see it all the way out here on the left coast, I can hear the music I can smell the pecans on the top of the cake.

    You are the bees knees.



  2. There are so many awesome things about having children in your life, but one of the more useful things is they help you keep track of the years as they go by. I remember when Owen was Gibson's age and when Gibson was born and of course, it all seems like yesterday. Time is such an odd concept.

    I hope Gibson heals quickly.

  3. Scott- So are you. Thanks for letting me steal your words and as I said, thanks for your words. Always.

    Rubye Jack- I always say that people without children can more easily deny the passing of the years. When you're eldest child is about to turn 38, you kinda know that you yourself are no longer 27.

  4. Gawd, remember when those adults were babies and coming in from somewhere with owies and blood. We all love Gibson and send him beams of healing to his wee leg. And you, dear MerMer, blessings for birthday celebrations and melty cake and rubber bands around Gibson's foot so he won't slip.

    XXXX Beth

  5. How on earth did Gibson break his leg?! Clearly I missed something. I will read further and get the scoop. Anyway, I'm glad it turned out to be such a wonderful day, all things considered. Those flowers are grand and a slidey cake sounds like the best kind.

    That sentence of Tearful's is a doozy, isn't hit? Like a punch in the chest.

  6. I meant isn't it, but hit kind of applies too.

  7. I, too, loved that sentence of Tearful's. I can't believe little Gibson's cast -- how quickly these things happen, but he'll heal fast, fast, fast. Happy birthday to your beautiful May, and yes, the light from Lloyd is apparently bright enough to see all the way out here on the west coast where it's already so sunny!

  8. You know Tearful's words also resonated with me in a powerful way when I read them over at his house and it reminded me of the comfort I find here in the flat blue world and I thought too about how all of us pretty much have a moment with all of our kids where something fierce happens and it can be damned near anything so tell Lily she's home free now as far as Gibson is concerned.

    Also I come here to eat I mean what you eat is always so delicious and seems from here pretty much like vegetarian heaven so yeah I come here for sustenance.

    my WV is 8011 and a bunch of leaves

  9. Gibson wears his cast with aplomb;
    I bet it will be off before itchiness sets in. And that melty cake looks delightfully soulful.

  10. Gibson is really something. I guess the cast is just his new reality, no better or worse in his judgment than any other, as long as the itchiness stays at bay. I hope he heals lightening fast, though, and i know what you mean about his cast making your heart hurt, but he is going to be just fine and happy birthday beautiful May. Moon parties are something to behold.

  11. That was one fine party, Mama. Taylor and I talked all day about how much fun we had. Thank you thank you, for my beautiful earrings, my sparkly butterflies (already hung), my delicious dinner last night and tonight, and your great love. Loving you hard is the easiest thing, the sweetest thing.

  12. Beth Coyote- Yes. Yes I do and it was yesterday. I swear. And here we are, all these years later and I still want to kiss their boo-boos well.

    Steve Reed- Yes, both versions make sense. Those flowers are unbelievable.

    Elizabeth- Sunny here too. And the light of you West Coasters sure does make it all the way to my heart.

    Radish King- Tearful said it so clear. And so do you. I'm glad you find sustenance here. I surely, purely am.
    Did you draw the leaves? Ha! WTF?

    A- It was apple/prune/sweet potato cake. With raisins. And many spices. It was good.
    Gibson does wear that cast with aplomb.

    Angella- It's like one continuing party here, every time it happens. Like a conversation with an old friend. You pick up where you left off. Sometimes the cake is different but we talk about the other cakes, too, as if to include them again.

    May- I'm so glad you had a good time. I surely did. I had so much fun picking out those presents and maybe even more fun making last night's food. You know how much pleasure it brings me to feed the ones I love. And loving you is sweeter than the caramel icing on that cake. Always has been. Always will be. You are my heart.

  13. Ms Moon......hugs to you and to Gibson. Poor dear- his first hard knock, I think, but love heals and he'll heal quickly! Is that Birthday cake of May's your hippie apple cake with the caramel icing? Will you share the recipe? It looks scrumptious!
    Susan M

  14. What a lovely part. What love!
    Poor Gibson, but what a trooper. He'll probably remember none of this by the time he's Owen's age.

    I told Scott I was stealing that sentence too. It really got to me.


  15. I didn't know about Gibson's leg. Very sorry about that. Will keep reading to catch up. I go on the boat for a few days and something bad happens!


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