Sunday, May 22, 2022

Questions. I Have Questions


It's been one of those days. 
A but-first day. 
I had two things I wanted to accomplish today. Clean the hen house and make May a key lime pie for her birthday which is on Tuesday but I will be seeing her tomorrow.
Simple. Simple as...pie. Right?
Actually, yes, but I didn't get around to those two things until after three o'clock this afternoon. First I had to spend a lot of time reading blogs and the newspaper online and catching up on Facebook and then I made our Sunday breakfast which is always so big and so late that no lunch is required. Next came the Sunday crossword which took awhile. And then Wordle which today did not take much time at all. 
And THEN, I began to casually do this and that with the idea that I was headed to the main events (hen house/pie) but of course one thing led to another which eventually led to that mess of old plastic containers you see on the floor in the picture. 
It started like this- Mr. Moon is going back to the gym and I offered to start making him smoothies for his breakfast that he can drink on the way to his work-out. So I needed to put the ice-cream maker somewhere so that the blender could go back on the counter. First thing I did was look in my antique Hoosier cabinet where I thought the blender base was. 
It wasn't. 
Other stuff was though and there wasn't enough room to put the ice cream maker in there. 
So then I decided I could probably make room in the pantry for the ice cream machine. And honey- that was a big ol' can of worms to open up because there is already so much crap in there, some of it that I do not WANT in there but it's in there because where else would it go? Things like extension cords and lightbulbs and various sorts of packing and duct tape and batteries and cleaning rags and cleaning products like furniture wax and leather cleaner. Sort of the hugest junk drawer you've ever seen. Also giant pots that there's no room for in my cabinets. The canning kettle, the wok, the pot that I can cook a twenty-pound turkey carcass in. Spare rolls of paper towels. Canning supplies of all sorts. Potatoes, onions, canned goods, the liquor, nuts, cereals, and on and on and on. So I played Tetris with all of that for awhile, shifting things from here to there, trying to not only make more room but also to make things more efficient- easier to get to the things I use the most. You know. 
Eventually, I settled on this arrangement. 


Even as we speak, though, I am thinking that I can get some of that shit into a different cabinet in the kitchen because I was also inspired by the fact that I still had not found the blender, to go through the stuff in there and weed out things I never use and never will use. How many damn broiler trays does one woman need? I never use one and had three. Also the old, battered cookie sheets that I'd been using since the first batch of chocolate chip cookies I ever baked at the age of eight and which I have finally replaced with some decent ones which I keep in the pantry. (See above.) I once gave Mr. Moon some baskets to use for grilling vegetables and I don't think he has ever used any of them so out they went. Also some high-falutin' plastic box device for coating fish with flour and crumbs and cornmeal along with whatever else you want to coat. Used it once. Determined that a paper bag or a plate works just as well if not better. Those are all stacked up and going to either Goodwill or the dump where I will put them on the side of the waste container for people to pick through and take if they want. 
Still, I had not found the blender. 
I remembered where the blender jar was and got that out. It was in my cabinet where I keep glasses and crockery and pitchers and all that stuff. And yes, it was there. The base was not. 
But while I was looking I decided to get rid of a few more things that were just taking up space like a vegetable chopper I never use, a few old thermal cups that have been happily replaced by Yeti's. They have been added to the dump pile. 
Maybe I had put the blender base in the cabinet where I keep leftover containers? I hate getting down on my knees to go through that detritus but I did it. And I raked everything out of there and that's what you see in the first picture. I decided that keeping dozens of old sour cream containers in my kitchen was not going to save the planet and so I trashed about half of those and rearranged everything. 
By then it was after three o'clock and I still had not found the blender base and had not made the pie or cleaned the hen house. 
I went out and got the roost all in order and came in, washed up, and made the pie at which point, I was about done for the day. 
I am afraid that Mr. Moon is not going to get a smoothie any day soon. Even he has looked through everything and can't find it. It has to be in that kitchen somewhere. It absolutely has to be. Where else would it be? 
Sigh. 

Anyway, can we talk about this for a second?


I posted this video on FB with this comment:

You know what I love about this? The fact that the driver did not even hesitate. He heard what he heard, he confirmed it, he told the woman to get out of his car. All of us should be practicing this sort of anti-racism so clearly and succinctly.

I got some "likes" and "loves" but I also got comments from two different people who absolutely disagreed with the way the Lyft driver had handled the situation. Their basic thoughts were that this sort of reaction from the driver was not going to help anything but in fact would only make the racist people in the video more apt to dig in their heels. That the better way to handle it would be to start a dialogue in a way that might actually change hearts and minds. MLK was invoked. Maybe I'm just old and really cranky and have no tolerance anymore for bigoted behavior in my presence but my thought is that it's not the driver's place to try and change that which will not be changed in the space of a Lyft ride but that it is absolutely his right to refuse to put up with that shit which, even if it does nothing to change a heart or a mind will in fact inform those people that just because someone is white, it does not mean they share racist views and that spouting such views is, indeed, inappropriate. But I am open to the idea that I could be wrong.
Give me your honest opinion. I am not looking to be vindicated in my opinion, just curious as to how and why another form of response would have been more effective. A sort of "what would you do?"

Meanwhile, if you have any idea where I might have put my blender base, please let me know. Also, there is absolutely no doubt that I need to throw a whole lot of stuff away. It is loin-girding time for sure.

Love...Ms. Moon


45 comments:

  1. Kudos to the Lyft driver. He stayed calm and was entirely within the right to call out racism. I use Lyft a lot when I am in Dallas - I love the diversity of drivers, and, depending on the length of ride and inclinations of the driver, have had wonderful and enlightening conversations. Like the one driver who was concerned about the increased cost of one of the many medications that his partner needs in order to live with HIV. The cheaper version has tons of side effects, but sometimes that is all they can afford. I had no idea that was even an issue. At the end of the hour-long ride we shared a hug (pre-covid days) as I thanked him for explaining things to me. Everybody has a story to tell, if anyone cares to listen.
    Right now my story is that I think someone stole the contents of my corner cupboard and threw them on your floor!

    P.S. - why is the blender base not stored with the glass part?

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    1. Wilma- thank you for that comment. I think that the people who disagreed with me on FB might actually say that you proved their point- we can indeed share, educate, and change with a short conversation. And now I have more to think about.
      I have a feeling we all have these containers. They're just too good to throw away and yet how many of them do we need? Dang.
      Don't ask me why I didn't store the base with the glass part. In fact, the glass part I found may have been an extra after a base burned out. Who knows? Not me.

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  2. Linda Sue here, So pleased with that driver I could kiss him! Facebook UGH! Anyway, YES, more folks have to step up and smash racism/ misogyny/ and any republican they come across.
    Your saving of plastic bits amuses me- We all do it because certainly they are useful or will be...My friend saved so many NANCY yogurt containers they took up an entire closet- and underpants elastic, saved that too. (?) The containers did finally come in handy as her ashes were put in them and distributed among her friends. Nobody wanted the elastic.

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    1. I love that so much! Spread the (love) ashes in yogurt containers! I do like them especially for after holiday meals so people can take home leftovers but come on- it's May- Thanksgiving is a long way ahead of us and Easter is behind us. As for underwear elastic- well- who knows? Someone may have wanted it. But obviously not.

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  3. I think the driver absolutely did the right thing! Damn it ... His car, his choice who rides in his car, his right to kick assholes out to the curb!

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  4. I'm not white, but I say put them out. I heard a bit on NPR today about engaging your young white sons who make racist or sexist remarks to change hearts and minds so they don't get more alienated. I think if parents, lift drivers made it clear that it isn't at all acceptable that might make them stop and think.before they mouth off.

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    1. I absolutely agree that there is a time and a place for more positive ways to try and change hearts and minds. But I just did not feel that a Lyft ride was it. And as I get older, I think I lose patience with people. Is it so hard just NOT to be an asshole? Think whatever you have to think but really- keep that shit to yourself.

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  5. The driver was fast on his feet, kept calm and refused to serve her. Entirely within his rights, better than just gritting his teeth and saying nothing.

    I agree that there's no point in trying to change hearts and minds in the course of a ride, even if he were responsible for changing her mind.

    Only a person like Wilma, ready to listen and learn, clearly open to other lives, fair-minded, would be worth engaging in a discussion where it's just information that's needed, not a moral crusade.

    My blender theory is that the base burned out but you kept the jug in case it might be useful some time.

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    1. I like your points, Liz. And I myself have learned a great deal from the most unexpected places when I've come in contact with people who had views and experiences that I am so grateful they shared. But I didn't go into those situations with my mind made up about anything. And that's the part of the equation that's missing in the video.

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    2. As to the blender base- no. I think I honestly put it away because I wasn't making smoothies anymore and I didn't want it taking up space. Sigh.

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  6. My opinion is that it's mostly pointless to try to open a dialogue with people like that. If they've made it this far in life and are comfortable spouting racist shit, I think the best thing is to let them know in no uncertain terms that you won't put up with it. Period. So I agree with you.

    Key lime pie....yum. We had my sister in law, niece, nephew, and two significant others visit on Friday night and we had a store-bought key lime pie for dessert. I'm sure it wasn't nearly as good as yours will be, but it was yummy on a very hot night! I love key lime in the summer.

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    1. You're right and I had thought about that too- that woman is certainly old enough to know better and if she doesn't, it's a conscious decision by now to be a bigot. I honestly think the driver did the right thing.
      Key lime pie is just the best. It is SO easy to make, too. The hardest part is squeezing the limes.

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  7. I say Bravo to the Lyft driver. I would want to do the same but not sure if I'd be brave enough. I hope I could be.
    My mom was the queen of saving margarine bowls and all things plastic. All of her leftovers were stored in those in the refrigerator. Trouble was you had to open each one to find the margarine!
    You've looked everywhere I would think the blender base could be, probably it did burn out as the others have surmised.

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    1. I'm pretty sure I would have the courage to speak up in that situation but who knows? I do know that the older I get, the angrier and less tolerant I am.
      Oh yes- WHICH old whipped butter container is the REAL whipped butter in? Constant mysteries.

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  8. I look at FB maybe once a quarter and that was today. I totally agree with your statement. I don't think minds are changed in dialogue on such a divisive topic.

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    1. I think that minds CAN be changed with dialogue but it is rare and it takes someone with far greater skills than I'll ever have.

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  9. I think a racist is, by definition, unreasonable, so expecting to 'dialogue' him/her into enlightenment is not going to work. You simply have to be as intolerant as they are.

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    1. My friends who disagreed with me on FB think that in being intolerant to the racists, the man was being the same as they were. There is a point to be made there. But- silence is NOT the answer.

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  10. I like what the driver did. He wasn't rude and didn't get mad, just told her that her behavior was unacceptable. I tend to get my fur up around racist people, my in laws (cough,cough). My mother in law made a racist remark the other day and I called her on it.

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    1. Good for you! It can be a lot harder to call out a family member or someone you know than to call out a stranger. And that is the truth.

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  11. Inappropriate behavior should never be tolerated or even give the illusion that it's okay. What the Driver did was the best reaction IMO, doing nothing or attempting to take a counter point with Adults behaving badly tends to just embolden them and escalate situations. Society as a collective usually dictates how people tend to Act and with what they assume and think they can get away with. When actions are not tolerated by most civil Society, those inclined to want to behave that way think twice about it or refrain, knowing full well it's not acceptable within the Society norms. We have to be very careful what we get used to and allow to become 'norms', it's a slippery slope.

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    1. And see- this is what disturbed me most when Trump was elected. That obviously there are so many people in this country who shared (share?) his racist ideals and positions but who, for the most part, had learned that voicing them in our society was just not acceptable until he made it so. I'm sorry, but I think that's one of the main reasons he was elected and that he had (has?) such virulent support. It sickens me.

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  12. Oh my goodness you must have been rummaging through my kitchen yesterday! In my garage I have a box with all the old sour cream tubs in it, and while they do occasionally come in handy to freeze small amounts of food or to let my kids take it home with them, there is no way I need all that stuff. So project declutter has actually already started. Same goes for those little plastic pots you get when you buy a seedling/plant. Is there really any point in keeping them all for when you plant your "Little House on the Prairie" next year? Nope, don't think so. As for the driver, good for him. AND, more embarrassingly, I wonder how that lady feels now that people like this little old biddy here in France has seen it!

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    1. Yes- "occasionally" these tubs and containers are useful but "occasional" is the key word. There is a limit! And same with the little plastic pots for seedlings. How many do we need?

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  13. Is your blender base hiding in plain sight? Behind the coffeemaker? Ask a set of fresh eyes to look for it, like one of the grandchildren. As for all the plastic, I would have trashed the lot, not just half, except here it would go into the recycling bin for collection, not just to trash.
    The video? I can't make out anything she says before, "you're a white guy, you speak English"

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    1. I've wondered too about the blender being in plain sight but if it is, I can't see it. Neither can Mr. Moon. I should indeed set the children to the task.
      We don't have pretend recycling in Jefferson County. Not since Covid started and I doubt it was actually done before.
      I think the main gist of the driver's problem with the woman was indeed that sentence.

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  14. The driver was right and very bold. Hats off for bravery.

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    1. Yeah. I really admire how he didn't dither around about it.

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  15. Presumably the car belonged to that driver. I doubt that he was wanting to take a huge anti-racist stance that would go viral. He just did not wish to carry such a casual racist in his car. In my opinion that is his right. Accidentally, it may encourage more decent citizens to stand up against racism instead of turning a deaf ear to it. Regarding your blender base, I can tell you for sure that I haven't got it.

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    1. Are you SURE you don't have my blender, Mr. P? Making your own smoothies? Harumph.
      Yes- I think that the driver was very effective in letting that woman know that such vile spouting was not acceptable in his vehicle. And hopefully, yes, more people who actually want to stand up in situations like that will be encouraged to do so.

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  16. I have mixed feelings about the Lyft video. I admire the driver's willingness to immediately confront the passengers with their inappropriate remarks. That's a pretty brave thing to do, especially with people you're picking up at night from a bar! But I also think the woman was clearly drunk and she did apologize to him in an attempt to walk it back. He might have said something less confrontational, but he also didn't have a whole lot of time to think, so like I said, kudos to him for saying anything at all. I suppose this debate has been raging since the birth of the Civil Rights Movement -- non-violence vs. confrontation, MLK vs. Malcolm X or Bobby Seale.

    Doesn't it feel good to get stuff sorted out? I never save old yogurt containers. Life is too short!

    Let us know if you ever solve the mystery of the blender.

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    1. Yeah, he didn't fool around, did he? Like I said, he heard what he heard, he confirmed it, he acted. And you're right- this debate has been going on forever and I suppose it will be going on into the future forever. Like I said in a comment above, I honestly think that Trump made people feel that it was far more acceptable to say such crap out loud than it had been before. He validated that shit.
      I can't believe you don't save old yogurt containers! Steve! I'm so proud of you.
      I'll definitely let you know if I find the blender.

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  17. I like River's comment - get some of your grandkids to look for the blender base.
    I like the Lyft driver's actions. He was calm but he stated the truth. Too many people get away with racist remarks and that isn't right.

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    1. Exactly. He spoke the truth. "Tell the truth and shame the devil!" is one of my favorite sayings.

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  18. That Lyft driver was absolutely right! Time some people start feeling ashamed of themselves, though personal responsibility and shame seem to be in short supply . Hope the blender base turns up!
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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  19. I believe the driver did the right thing, and as others have commented, I don't think anything he could have *said* or discussed....would ultimately change their thinking or behavior. So...... bravo to him and I also must say it was very brave of him to do, as Steve pointed out. You just never know anymore how people will react to being confronted. But...... not doing anything (as Bohemian said) enboldens people to just continue their unacceptable behavior....calling people out IS the right thing, I believe.
    Susan M
    Susan M

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    1. PS I do think your Grands should look for your blender base. How could you have a *failed* base and not recall that it had failed? I do believe it is just *misplaced*......bigtime......somewhere.

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    2. Yes. Silence is complicity. Absolutely. Or at least, tacit agreement which is a sort of complicity.
      I don't think the blender was broken either. I just think I put it somewhere. I sure wish I knew where.

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  20. OK, a somewhat dissenting opinion on the Lyft video.

    Yes, I do think the driver's actions (ousting the passenger) were entirely appropriate. But if he wanted to go public with it-- that is, post the video-- he should have obscured the passenger's face. Even if she's a jerk, she has some right to personal privacy, and she would still have to face the consequences of her actions by losing her ride and being told why. There's a whiff of self-congratulation when the one person in charge of video distribution is the one person in the video who comes across as the hero.

    I find it odd that the driver assumed "you're like, a white guy" unequivocally meant "you're like, not a Black guy", given that the passenger mentioned the driver's ability to speak English. It may be that most Lyft drivers she encounters are immigrants from the southern hemisphere with heavy accents. Of course that doesn't excuse her attitude or her statements-- but this shows how easy it is to assume what other people have in their heads. The driver may have escalated a tipsy remark that meant "hey, for once I get a driver I can easily communicate with" to proof that the passenger's business discriminates against Black people-- and then went on to identify the business by name.

    Personally, I'm most disturbed by the passenger's unseen male companion-- the guy who threatens physical violence when he's angered.

    (And I don't think the female passenger should have patted the male driver on the upper arm. Inagine if the genders were reversed.)

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  21. You have made some good points, Anonymous. But as the driver asked, "What difference would it make if the person sitting in this seat wasn't white?" Communication can be a problem. For sure. But as you said- that's a whole other issue and I think that after his reaction to her statement about him being white, she was trying to back it up a bit with the "so you speak English" thing. That's my take on it, anyway. As to obscuring her face- it was certainly obscured enough so that I'd never recognize her.
    The man was completely an asshole. Straight to violence. And no, I didn't like the way the woman patted the man's arm either. It was a big "Oh honey, you know what I mean," kind of thing. Ugh.

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  22. A bunch of that stuff in your pantry sounds like it would be better suited to being stored in the utility/laundry room. Well, I didn't watch the video and I haven't read all the replies cause I'm in catch up mode but it seems to me the Lyft driver has every right to deny a lift based on the behavior of the would be passengers.

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  23. 37P: I applaud the Lyft driver. Plain and simple. We don’t have the luxury of coddling potentially violent racists (“I’ll punch you in the face,” the male passenger threatened) with soft teachable moment conversations. Call them on their bigotry. Make them see the ugly in themselves. It’s on them to change, if they so choose (which they won’t). It’s not on the driver to convince them of anything other than that he won’t tolerate their hatefulness.

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  24. 37P: Also, happy birthday beautiful May!

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.