Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Do Not Read If You Have A Problem With Speculums And Their Uses


This little pair is so photogenic. I need to name that one baby child. Pansy? I think I had a Pansy before but if so, she is long gone. Gosh but I hope the chick isn't a rooster. Violet finally got off the nest this afternoon and has the baby out scratching in front of the hen house. I think it's time to throw the rest of the eggs away. I noticed just now that some hen has laid another egg in that nest alongside the ones Violet's been sitting on. Too little, too late, Missy! 
One of Darla's chicks has been named by Gibson who always names a chick "Dearie." It is tradition. In this case, it's the chick with black wing feathers coming in.

So that's the chicken news. Here's the main thing I did today.


I think all you ladies will figure it out immediately. 
I knew that my bio-identical hormones prescription was going to require a renewal from my GYN and I also knew that I was going to have to go see him as I have not graced his office or exam table in years. I mean- come on. You have to be realistic. I do get my mammograms and last year I did have that ultra sound to measure my uterine lining to make sure things were in balance but that's not a hands-on situation with a speculum in your own personal body parts. 
So I had to make an appointment which I did and today was the day. It literally took me longer to fill out all the damn paperwork than it did to get the exam. And the exam was not bad at all. This doctor is so gentle and kind and puts me at ease right away. Turns out that women over 65 aren't necessarily recommended to get anymore paps which is awesome. He told me he'd be glad to give me one if I wanted one or if he saw anything worrisome but that was a negatory on both issues. 
My "tissues" looked "good." 
Phew! What a relief! Don't we all want good looking tissues? 
I know I do. 
When he saw that Dr. Zorn was my GP he said, "He's got a new office, doesn't he? I'm gong to be seeing him soon. He's my GP too."
Turns out that Dr. Zorn isn't just popular among the young and female and old and female. Even older male fellow-doctors think he's pretty darn great. 
"He looks like a kid," my GYN told me. "But he's a whiz." 
In the end, I decided that overall, I'd rather get an internal exam from this doctor than walk four miles on a hot day. I'm not kidding about that either. This is not to say that I wasn't shaking with anxiety before I left the house. Hell, I took 3/4's of a .5 mg Ativan before I took my shower which was probably the first Ativan I've taken in months. Many months. Those pills are so old I don't even know if they're still any good but the placebo effect is real and if that's what calmed me down a little, then that's good enough for me. 

So I did that and then I picked up a few things at Costco and at Publix, feeling all relieved and shit. I had clean hair, shaved legs, and was wearing a new dress I got off ebay which I quite like. You should see the pockets on this thing! I felt like I was on a date with myself. 
But I will say that I'm fairly exhausted now. Getting so worked up will do that to you, even if there was no logical reason to it. There never is any logical reason for my panic when I have to go to a doctor and I doubt I'll ever get over that. I was thinking the other day about how I even tried going to a hypnotist for the problem but that just did not work out First of all, he was a retired MD. Secondly, he was really old and sort of creeped me out. He insisted on giving his instructions through a microphone that looked like it may have come from an RKO studio in the forties while I was less than four feet away from him which made me wonder if he was insane and also made me want to laugh in a not-entirely comfortable way. The whole situation was so anxiety-producing that it seemed extremely counter-intuitive to go back to him to get treatment for anxiety. The old dude even e-mailed me several times after I told him that no, I wasn't interested in any more sessions, advising me that he thought I would really benefit from seeing him again. 
I guess we'll never know, will we?

Anyway, I survived today and have very little planned for the rest of the week which is just the way I like it. Perhaps Mr. Moon and I should take a day to drive over to the state park that Jessie and Vergil went to on Sunday. It's called Madison Blue Spring State Park and I'm not sure if I've ever even heard of it but it sure does look heavenly.



And it's less than an hour's drive away. 
Yes. I think we should do that. 

Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, here's some roses.




Love...Ms. Moon






34 comments:

  1. Good tissues! Good news, indeed!

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  2. Blue Spring looks incredible. What a swimming hole. The water looks like a well known spring in Ohio called the Blue Hole, with an unknown depth.
    So glad you aced the speculum test.

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    1. There are a whole lot of beautiful places in Florida called Blue Sink or Blue Hole. Most of ours are on a sink hole that is connected to the aquifer.
      Yes. I am quite proud of my good tissues. Ha!

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  3. That park does look so beautiful. I read about it. Nestle bottles water from it, for free, or did until 2018. I don't know if they still are.

    https://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/fl-xpm-2008-03-30-0803270355-story.html

    https://floridaspringsinstitute.org/fla-gets-a-tiny-paycheck-as-nestle-taps-its-springs/

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    1. Fucking Nestle. They or another bottled water company keeps trying to bottle from Wakulla Springs. I hate them. I do not buy bottled water unless I am literally dying of thirst and it's the only option. Which does not happen very often.

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  4. Good tissues and a great park--made in the shade...

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  5. "bio-identical hormones"? What is that? I haven't been on one of those tables for a very long time. I remember one exam back in 1980 with a very old shaky hands doctor who didn't warm the speculum, then dropped the whole thing on the floor and had to start over.

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    1. Here's an article: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/15660-bioidentical-hormones
      They work for me beautifully in several important quality-of-life issues. For one, I never stopped having horrible hot flashes until I took them. They also help me with anxiety.
      That sounds like a horrible exam experience. I hope the doctor got out a clean speculum at least. Jesus.

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    2. Aha! Hormone replacement tablets. I remember those, they worked very well for me. Yes on the clean speculum and I never went back to that particular doctor.

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  6. Glad you got a good report about your tissues! Always nice to know.
    That park definitely looks worth a visit, yes. Please do it and provide coverage for us.

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  7. I didn't realize Paps weren't needed after 65. That must be good news! The springs look amazing and yes, I hope Violet's chick isn't a rooster. :/

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    1. I don't quite understand that as I do still have a cervix. But...I've never had a problem and don't think I will in the future.
      I really hope that Violet's little one is a hen.

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  8. "I felt like I was on a Date with myself...", just cracked me up, since, yes, if I bother to shave my Legs, that would be like Date prep at this stage of the Game, for sure. *winks* I once had a Friend with an Elderly Mom she took to her GYN Appointments, the Mom in her 80's with poor Eyesight and lived with her Daughter and Teen Granddaughters. Well, the Old Gal thought she was using the Feminine Hygiene spray and it turns out it was the Granddaughter's Glitter Spray for going to the Clubs... "My aren't we Fancy...", the GYN Doc said, that's when she realized she was all Glittered Up down there... I still Laugh when I think about that.

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    1. Okay. That is hysterical. I knew an old woman who told her doctor to clean out the cobwebs while he was up there.

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  9. Glad you had good exam results.
    Yes, finally, a perk to getting old - no more paps! Also, something for you to look forward to - no more colonoscopies after the age of 75! Hurray!

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    1. Oh god. I haven't had a colonoscopy in years! But I do take those cologuard tests.

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  10. Can't remember when I last had a pelvic, four or five years at least. Sounds to me like that doctor would be the one benefitting from more sessions with you, specifically his wallet. And that park is gorgeous. You should definitely go.

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    1. Oh- I WILL go. For sure.
      As to that doctor- uh. No.

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  11. I have no idea what you are talking about when you refer to paps. In Britain "paps" is another term for breasts. Madison Blue Spring State Park looks magical and I guess it will be if it isn't overcrowded.

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    1. They call them "smears" on your side of the pond. I have a feeling you probably knew this already though. We'll go to the park on a weekday and it shouldn't be so crowded.

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  12. I've got to make my gynae appointment too. Probably for next week. I think most women probably hate it but at least mine talks about recipes (he's a man) while he's got his nose in that awkward place!!!! And oh my word, that park. Lucky you. I think I'd be there every day!

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    1. This doctor I saw yesterday is a master of small talk when he's doing his exam. It's a fine conversation!

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  13. What a lovely swimming hole! I would enjoy being there.

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  14. What wonderful news! I am 65 in a few short days! One less thing to stop feeling bad about not doing.

    Ps the "we'll never know, will we?" made me laugh out loud.

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    1. We'll never know a lot of things. Or at least, I won't!

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  15. that park looks like a beautiful place for a picnic and a dip in that gorgeous (and cool) water! A nice day outing for you and Mr Moon indeed. That pic of Violet and her chick is beautiful. Have you ever pondered creating a calendar from the best of your lovely hen and flower photos?
    Susan M

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    1. There are so many calendars with chickens now, I think. They've gotten very popular with people as there are so many who keep them.

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  16. I felt like I was on a date with myself, that is cute, and sometimes I feel that way too when I put on a dress. Which happens mainly in spring and summer. Your chickens and chicks are adorable.

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  17. Good doctors, like good tax preparers, are one of life's great gifts. I'm glad all went well, and wow, that Blue Springs place looks like heaven.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.