August, August, August.
Fuck August.
Fuck dogs and fuck the shit they shit and the piss they piss and the way they scratch all night long.
Fuck poison ivy.
Fuck me for being so fucking pig-headed that I pulled poison ivy with my bare hands.
Fuck red ants while we're at it.
Fuck lame-ass air conditioners that are fucked.
Oh, fuck August.
Might I suggest a Benadryl cocktail? If it doesn't help the itching, at least it will knock you out so you don't feel it.
ReplyDeleteBut I agree. Fuck everything.
'fuck poison ivy'...
ReplyDeleteif that illustration depicts a personification of poison ivy, i can think of several people who would LOVE to take you up on your suggestion!
Oh dear! Why were you pulling up poison ivy with your bare hands? Is it awful? When will the AC get fixed? I'm so so sorry, it was really hot last night and really hot this morning. I didn't turn on my AC in the living room (I have a sneaking suspicion it doesn't work, it seems like it crapped out last year) but I did go to bed at 10, just because I was so sweaty and miserable. And I don't even have poison ivy. Oh Mama. Is there anything I can do?
ReplyDeleteMy grandaddy's favorite thing to yell at my boy cousins was, "If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough."
ReplyDeleteFUCK YEA!!
ReplyDeleteI know you never will do it, but PLEASE come over and roll around in our a/c ANYtime. You have a key!
It was so great to just bs and have a coffee and a smoke. I really needed that.
Sorry you are feeling fucked, not in the good way.
Love and anti-itch wishes,
pf
My sentiments exactly.
ReplyDeleteRachel- That is the plan for tonight.
ReplyDeleteThat and NOT SLEEPING WITH THREE DOGS!
Adrienne- I know. She looks worth the inevitable rash, doesn't she?
May- Actually, dear, I am taking this all with a lot of humor. What else can one do? The poison ivy is not so bad- yet. We know how this can go. I pulled it up because it was there and I was clearing an area and my arms and hands were already ripped with thorns and I was already hot and miserable so why not? Why the FUCK not? Haha! I did wash thoroughly afterwards so maybe it won't be so bad. The AC should be fixed today.
Thank-you, but I am sure I will survive and I love you so much.
Ms. Windy- That is GREAT! I shall remember it. And perhaps that is why I am so tough- I gotta be.
Ms. Fleur- I can always go upstairs and lay on the bed up there with the window unit on. I may, in fact, spend my day doing that until the repair guys get here.
Yesterday's visit was sweet. Thank-you. You make REALLY good coffee, by the way.
Ms. Trouble- I knew I spoke for many of us.
In Maine August is the only summer we got this year. At last we have some sunlight, interrupted by one thunder storm a day so far. so we said Fuck June and July...total waste.
ReplyDeleteMr. Berry- Well, I don't know. Maybe we should all move to Hawaii. I couldn't take no summer at all. Really. That would kill me. And then snow? Nah. So Hawaii might be good.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the poison ivy. My damn poison oak has just gone away, and I still have a very faint outline of it on my forearm. What a bitch.
ReplyDeleteLove you,
SB
I adore you so much that I would scrathc your itches. Which sounds alot nastier than I MEAN, ha ha ha.
ReplyDeleteRemember in Cross Creek when she's got poison ivy on her legs and then sandspurs in her dress and then the dogs piss and poop all over her porch and when she's taking buckets of water out after cleaning that the skeeters start biting her in the poison ivy rash?
ReplyDeleteoh I am so sorry Ms. Moon. sucks ): I hope the rest of August is much nicer to you! Lord bring us a cold snap or an early fall/winter!
ReplyDeleteMs. Bastard- I got poison oak once at a camp and they had to take me to a doctor (I believe I overheard one counselor say to another, "Jesus, that kid looks awful. Take her to the damn doctor!") and I looked so disgusting no one wanted to sit next to me. I think poison oak is much worse than the ivy.
ReplyDeleteKori- I know what you mean and I am deeply honored.
DTG- Every day of my life. I'd bet you anything she was going through menopause then, too, and having hot flashes. Remember when she screamed out of frustration so loudly that the neighbors strolled over to see if anything was wrong?
CMe- I thank-you but hell, August is August and we have to pay our dues for April.
ReplyDeleteFuck all that, Ms. Moon.
ReplyDeleteOh, no. August is the cruelest month, eh? So sorry to hear of your tough night -- maybe a motel with AC is in order?
ReplyDeleteWith as much as you use your hands too...Dang, that's awful, Ms. Moon. Poison Ivy and ants do hurt badly.
ReplyDeleteI'd have sat next to you, Ms. Moon. SB is not a fair-weather friend, goddammit.
ReplyDeleteSeems like everyone is saying fuck but no one is doing it! Sorry for all your itches that ain't gettin scratched....and mine too!
ReplyDeleteAunt Becky- Okay!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth- Can't go to a hotel. Who would clean up all the dog shit? Besides, the AC is fixed. The guy swears it!
Nicol- Yeah, but nothing like the injuries on that guy's face on your blog. Now THAT is pain. This is just annoyance.
Ms. Bastard- Don't worry. I could never sit through an entire football game. Even at a bar. But maybe if you really, really wanted me to, I would try to make it through half-time.
Brother Ball- Uh. Speak for yourself, sir! (Perhaps you need to take your wife to Mexico.)
Amen!
ReplyDeleteWhat was I thinking? I should have known....so it's just me, is it? Figures! FUCK!
ReplyDeleteBASTARDS!
Fuck anything that bothers you, lovely Ms. Moon!
ReplyDeleteFuck all mechanical stuff, all it does is break!
ReplyDeleteFuck menopause and hot flashes!
Fuck blogging in the summer time!
Lucy, who's taken over for Hope because she has none.
Oh dear.
ReplyDeleteAt least you look hot in the ivy bikini ;)
Joy- You feelin' it too?
ReplyDeleteBrother Ball- You crack me up. I've missed you. BASTARD!!!
Mwa- Okay!
Ms. Lucy- We need to address these issues. We miss your human's blog.
Ms. Jo- I know! I've aged as well as Sharon Stone.
and while we're at it let's fuck mosquitos
ReplyDeleteI hate those mother-fuckers
I'm scratching as we speak... err... type
Michelle- Yes! Fuck mosquitoes. We have billions.
ReplyDelete