Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pain- What On Earth's It Good For?


I've got laundry going, venison thawing, and I've re-treated Miss Penny's little head. She looks pretty good, Miss Penny does. Her wound is no longer bloody and I think it's healing. She seems relatively unaffected.

Jessie is doing well. You'd hardly know she's had surgery except for the fact that she has an Ace bandage on her knee and when she bends the knee, it makes a squishy sound, not unlike a hungry belly would make. It's a bit disconcerting to have sounds coming from your knee that usually only come from your gut and I've got a call in to the doctor's office but I think it's fine. Just being super sure. A new friend of hers is coming out for breakfast shortly and I'm looking forward to meeting him. She gets a bit giggly when she talks about him but you know Jessie- she's giggly all the time. Yesterday when we were waiting for the nurse to come and DC her IV, she asked what time it was and she was amazed when we told her. "Wow," she said. "I didn't realize it was that late."
"Time goes fast when you're doing drugs," her father said, and we all laughed so loud that we probably woke up the other post-op patients, dozing off their anesthesia.

Here was something that struck me yesterday:
Jessie had originally thought that maybe she'd just as soon get an epidural for her surgery and remain awake for it, rather than to undergo general anesthesia. The anesthesiologist agreed that he could do that and then he proceeded to tell her all the things that can go wrong with an epidural- the wet tap, the headaches, the long recovery time, the precipitous drop in blood pressure that can occur, and so on and so forth.
"But really," he said, "We do them all the time. The risks are very low."
But it made me think about how quickly they offer epidurals to women in labor, and how quickly women in labor agree to them- as if they were being offered something magical without any consequences to consider. The pain of childbirth, as it were, is something so horrible and intolerable that risks are considered minor in comparison when talking about the relief of such pain.
Huh, I thought and Jessie opted for general anesthesia.
When my friend and neighbor, Ms. Petit Fleur, was in labor, I remember the anesthesiologist coming into her room and announcing that he was going to be her new best friend as he set up his equipment. And indeed, anyone who relieves you of the pain of childbirth does, at the time, seem like a miracle worker, a magician, and yes, your new best friend.
I don't recall the risks of the epidural being discussed in so much detail on that day and if it had been, would Ms. Fleur have been able to pay attention? Or would her husband who was so concerned with the pain she was experiencing that he only wanted her to be relieved of it?
No. Not really.
I feel a bit guilty about that- I was there and I could have been her advocate and tried to help her explore other ways of dealing with the pain but I hated seeing her in such distress, too. Every woman in labor cannot possibly believe that this amount of pain is normal, that it doesn't signal some sort of problem. And that's where a birth coach comes in- to remind her that yes, it is normal, all is well and that she can deal with it and that her baby is fine and soon she will be holding him in her arms.
Ms. Fleur ended up having a completely lovely birth and perhaps would not have been in such pain to begin with had they not induced her labor and then augmented it with pitocin which causes contractions of unnatural force. But that's what happens in so many cases. "They" decide that you need to have that baby NOW and a woman who is 41 weeks pregnant will agree to almost anything to get that baby out.
And so it goes.
One intervention leads to another and the next thing you know, your plan for a natural, drug-free birth has been completely left behind and the anesthesiologist is your new best friend.
But why should women have to experience pain in labor? You wouldn't get knee surgery or a tooth removed without drugs.
But the thing is is that childbirth is not surgery or a medical condition at all if things are going normally, which most doctors have forgotten. A baby is neither something needing repair or removal. Not in the sense that a tooth is. And that things have evolved in the way they've evolved to allow women to give birth on their own. And yes, the pain is part of it. I've written about this before and what I think is that when the baby is born, the pain is immediately over and that this is important. Your first sight and touch of your baby corresponds with the complete cessation of the pain and somehow, deep in the brain, a connection is made that says, Baby equals salvation.
And instead of an anesthesiologist being your new best friend, your baby is.
With the added bonus of knowing that you and your baby have done the most amazing thing in the world and that your body is stronger and more powerful than you ever could have imagined.
Not to mention that fact that the pain creates a desire in a woman to move in such a way that the baby is constantly put in a better and more efficient position to be born, unlike being flat on her back with monitors all over, her legs unable to support her due to having had an epidural.

Well, those are my thoughts today. And I know darn well that a woman can give birth to a baby with an epidural and make a bond with that child which is as fully formed as any. All I have to do is look next door to Ms. Fleur and Harley to see that.

I am glad that modern medicine is there for the mothers who need it and also for situations where knees need repairing. I am. Believe me.
I am just so grateful that in giving birth to my children I didn't need it. My babies and I were a team, working and moving together and the midwives where there to help ease them into this life.
Their births were the most powerful and healing experiences of my life and I would not be who I am without those experiences.

28 comments:

  1. I'm so conflicted about stuff like that, I find it hard even reading about it. I still remember my anaesthesiologist very fondly.

    Glad you write about it, though.

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  2. Glad to hear everything well at the Moon Manor. Maybe Miss Penny should come in and watch some tv with Jess. They can lie around and convalesce together. Maybe eat some bugs, watch a little Animal Planet.

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  3. I've always had to argue with anaesthesiologists. I tell them I am allergic to morphine, don't give it to me. They argue. Then I ask for another doctor, please, until I get one that will listen.

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  4. I had natural childbirth with both daughters, some kind of pain something with the 3rd child, Max, in the form of an IV, and then an epidural with Ben.

    Both the boys had to be induced, Max because he was 3 weeks late and nearly 9 lbs, and there was placenta tearing and placenta previa, with Ben I had issues with pre-eclamspia and he had to be induced 3 weeks early due to those health issues of my own.

    Having all those varied experiences one would think I have an opinion on this subject, but I don't. Childbirth is so individualized, isn't it?

    I'm convinced now that I must not have had the same amount of pain I know other women have experienced. I don't know.

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  5. Your son is funny, really funny;)

    Is Lily having her baby at home?

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  6. I've done it both ways. Had I been able to properly recover from Amelia's traumatic birth, this would have been a different story.

    *sighs*

    Things never do go as planned, do they, Ms. Moon?

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  7. Mwa- I know. It's a difficult subject and no one knows what's right for anyone else. Absolutely.

    DTG- Great idea! Actually, Chris is here so they don't need no stinkin' chicken.

    Steph- That's weird. Allergies to morphine are NOT uncommon.

    Marsha- Each pregnancy and labor is completely different with different requirements and needs. And we can't compare our pain to others. There is no way.

    Ms. Windy- Yes, my son is very funny. And smart. But no, Lily isn't having her baby at home. She's having blood pressure issues.

    Aunt Becky- YOU ARE RIGHT! Which is why I feel so fortunate to have had the births I had.

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  8. I took doula training once upon a time and (only my opinion) the issue isn't so much whether to have an epidural. The biggest issue I see is full disclosure, as you mentioned. The other problem I have with this is the rush doctors have to get the baby born, sometimes playing into a mother's fatigue. I was in a birth in which the mother had been in labor for only three hours, but at 4:30pm, her doctor came in and said it didn't look like she was getting anywhere and since she was tired, it would be best for the baby if they wheeled her into the operating room. The poor kid was scared and agreed. It pissed me off. You are also so right when you say that one intervention leads to another in a waterfall effect.

    I have two friends who are pregnant right now and one of them really wants a natural birth and we've talked about how she and her husband are going to have to stand strong and not give in to fear, but listen carefully to what it being said so they can make wise choices. Lastly, let me say that I have reminded her a number of times that if something does change and she accepts drugs or ultimately has a c-section, that at the end of the day she will have done something tremendous and will hold the baby in her arms (God willing) and that is a successful birth. Every birth is different, yes. But being knowledgeable about the subject is crucial.

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  9. Oh my goodness, I'm so tempted to add my childbirth stories in complete and utter agreement with you. Why is prenatal care and childbirth looked up as a serious medical issue? It's so interesting that we have the most intervention in this country and some of the poorest outcomes in the industrialized world. Oy vey. Don't get me started.

    Actually, my favorite tale is one where a woman unhooked her overalls in the car as they rushed to the hospital to have the baby. As soon as the pressure was released, the baby shot out and into the leg of the overalls! Love that story!

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  10. Wow... love that line: "And instead of an anesthesiologist being your new best friend, your baby is".

    What I remember is that they were upset that I stalled out and was not progressing with labor. They were practically insisting on inducing. After reading Ina May's version of how the body works in natural labor vs how the body works on pitocin, I really was terrified to get the pitocin without the epi. I mean, she was probably completely right, and that's why I didn't attempt one without the other.

    I just got a bugger wiped on my arm. I guess that's my que to get off the computer and start playing Candy land!

    And you did a fine job! I'm so glad you were there. It was a blessing and a comfort to have you close by.
    We all love you so,
    pf

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  11. Ok, I admit I am now hooked on your blog. (I am the same one who shared my militant breastfedding in Wal-Mart story.)

    I agree that each birth is it's own experience, having done it four times. lol.

    I did have an epidural with my first, but it only numbed one side of me. Kind of pointless.

    My second was born at home, in a hot tub, with a midwife. 13 years ago today, actually. It was a beautiful experience.

    The next was in a hospital again, due to where we were living at the time.

    The last was going to be another home birth, but I felt a strong pull to go to the hospital. Being one who believes in listening to my gut, I went. No pain meds, though, and a very powerful experience. Just a couple of minor complications on my end that made me glad I listened to my instinct.

    My point is, every one is different. But, overall, I think that birth has become too reliant on medical intervention. Yes, prenatal care is important and there are times when intervention is needed. It's just not as often as doctors would like us to believe.

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  12. I had epidurals with both kids. The first because Ceara was induced and had to be born 4 weeks early due to the placenta being full of blood clots.
    I had one with Farty because his big melon head was stuck, and I was in agony and my OB had to 'unwedge' his head.
    I have to say, there are big differences in the epi's themselves. With Ceara's, I was flat on my back, as expected. With Farty's, I could still walk around, change position, etc. Much better.
    I would have an epidural again, call me a wuss. They kept me numb while my nether parts were stitched up, and allowed me to enjoy my babies instead of feeling all the sewing going on.

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  13. I have had births both ways, and for me, I would totally rather be epidual-free and deal with the pain. that 20 seconds of relief between hard conractions is Sooooooo gooood that it made the contractions bearable. though with Owen, and he was my 4th VBAC and I had had a tear in my uterus at the beginnig (a little leftover from my experience with Sam) and I was OLD, well, the doc wouldn't agree to deliver without an epi in case he needed to do emergency surgery; I went along with it because we discussed the potential side effects and risks associated with the procedure, and then Iwas grateful that I had HAD to have one. Didn't have to do surgery but he needed to be delivered quickly and it was good to know that had I HAD to be gutted, there wouldn't be any of that wait time, you know?

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  14. I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies, but I sure am glad to hear Jessie is doing so well.

    Also good to hear Miss Penny's little noggin is doing okay. I was worried all morning about knees and chicken heads.

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  15. They poked babymama with an epi after 20 some hours of labor. Then they took her off the epi cause she was too comfortable.

    She had the youngin' and it's all behind us. Doctors are as different as patients and situations. Just be informed. AND send me any extra drugs you may not need or want; I can trade them for weed.

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  16. Well, I had hoped your grandson would be here by now - after a 2 hour labor and 3 good pushes - but, I guess he's not ready to join us yet.
    I'll be out of town with limited computer access until the 23rd, so if he shows up before then, leave a comment for Lucy, who's staying in town to handle the blogs.
    Hope/MYS

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  17. "And instead of an anesthesiologist being your new best friend, your baby is." Wowzers, I love this sentence! What an idea! It really feels that way too. Suddenly the pain stops and you're holding your baby and there is no better feeling.

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  18. Dsmcaron- Yes. The timelines. The graphs. The inability to be patient, let nature take her course. It's pretty messed up, the way we deliver babies these days.

    Elizabeth- Yep. The more technology we throw at the problem, the worse the outcomes. Does anyone learn from this? No. We throw more technology at it.

    Ms. Fleur- You did a marvelous job of having Harley. I still can't believe that was your first baby.

    K- You are experienced, my dear! I agree with you- we are told that things are going wrong and that we should PANIC when really, perhaps a change of position, a bit of time would solve the problem.

    Rachel- I am curious- how did the OB unwedge Farty's head?

    Kori- Sounds logical to me.

    Ms. Bastard- I just love you for commenting.

    Magnum- You're funny. I don't think there's such a thing as "extra" drugs.

    Lucy- No. He's not due until around Sept. 15. You'll be home.

    Lora- That's what it was like for me.

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  19. I enjoyed these comments more than the post. I mean, the post was special but...oh my.

    "how did the OB unwedge Farty's head?"

    I can't get enough of a kid called Farty.

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  20. I just loved this. I love and appreiciate the care you put into your opinions, the thoughtful way you observe the world and what happens to us in it.

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  21. I was honored that my son and daughter-in-law invited me to the last few Lamaze classes with them. Things have changed so much in the 40 years since my son was born. I wish I'd had that experience and realize that some people did back then. I'd have done it differently but am thrilled I had my children!

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  22. Glad Jessie is progressing so well and that Miss Penny survived!

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  23. Unwedging Farty's head involved the OB putting his hand so far up my nether parts I swear I was gagging. And then prodding and poking around. Sorry, graphic. But accurate! Poor kid was born with his entire face black and blue.

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  24. Ms. Trouble- I know. I don't think his real name is Farty.

    Learner- :) to you too.

    Maggie May- Ahhhh. Thank-you, you blessed girl.

    Joy- All means to an end. I feel proud that my generation of women helped open a few doors. Seems to me though that every generation has to relearn things again. Ah well.
    Thanks for your good wishes.

    Rachel- Oh. Ouch. Oooh. Ouch.

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  25. This was incredibly eye opening for me evven though I was present most of the time with the midwives when my stepmother had her brood at every other drop of a hat.
    Over on facebook a friend of mine was explaining what her sister is going through and a commenter told her she was blocking her out because such talk didn't belong on FB.several of us told HER where to get off. the rest of us followed every detail of that birth and were there on line in the morning to rejoice.I mean her explanations were not that graphic and were were honored to be semi-witnesses to the miracle.
    Love your blog xoxoxoxo

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  26. Mr. Berry- I think I would like to hear about your life. Your stepmother had midwives? And you were there? Really- please. Tell me about this.
    Email me? Write a post about it? Whatever. I am listening.

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