I woke up today in a seriously gray funk. I have been having these dreams wherein there is a woman whom I, upon first meeting, felt incredibly drawn to. She has appeared at least three times in my dreams now and I have no idea who she is but she seems to be someone I've never met and someone who obviously fills some need within me.
A mother?
I don't know.
But last night's dream was disturbing and there were characters abounding, some of them people I do know, some of them people I do not. There was a stepfather, not the evil one I actually have, but some white-milque-toast of a guy whom I referred to in my dream as someone I would not recognize in a line-up of two.
Disturbing.
And I actually looked in the mirror when I got up, which is something I try to avoid which is easy when you're as nearsighted as I am, and I have a zit on my face the likes of which you would never think to see on a person even one week past puberty, not to mention forty years past. And one crazy eyebrow hair which stuck out and up as if it were standing on its tiptoes, screaming for attention.
So then I got this vision of a nurse in a psychiatric ward and so I started a new blog and began to write on it and I enjoyed that tremendously but then I wondered where in hell THAT would go and if anyone would read it. I sort of wanted people to read it but I sort of didn't. So I deleted the blog but I felt a bit cheered up by the writing.
And then Billy and DTG showed up with DTG's car which may need a new alternator and Billy and Mr. Moon and DTG are going to attend to that in the GARAGEMAHAL which is what I call Mr. Moon's garage. I was so glad to see Billy, whom I haven't seen in way too long that I cried when I saw him and hugged him and I feel like maybe that unleashed some of the demons and they will now pack up their pillows and move on for awhile. I hope so. I keep thinking I'm telling them they can't crash on my couch anymore but somehow, they seem to ignore that and I keep waking up with them there, like party guests you didn't really invite and certainly didn't expect to stay the night and God knows you aren't going to lend them your toothbrush.
And the sun just broke through the clouds and so maybe things will get better here and the zit will go away. I already dealt with that eyebrow hair with the tweezers. All the guys are out at the garage and it's comforting to hear their voices drift across the yard and here's one more day I'm pretty sure I'll keep breathing.
How lucky to have two men and a boy in your garage! Ha Ha! Which one is the boy? I don't know, still I think fixing DTG's car will be a big enough job for such an assortment. What are you fixing them for lunch? Maybe a bacon sandwich?
ReplyDeleteGood one, Miss Maybelle. And you know, that bacon sandwich idea did cross my mind. I actually do have some bacon. They would love me even more than they do now, wouldn't they?
ReplyDeleteI'll join in on the fixing of the alternator for one of those sandwiches.
ReplyDelete:)
Well bless your heart! :) Seems my funk did come climb into your lap, so to speak, but hopefully you've chased it away now. I feel better today, too.
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting about your dream--I don't remember my dreams that often but when I do, they are always vivid like that.
To avoid the Andy Rooney look - long eyebrow hairs should be combed away from the rest of the eyebrow, then cut.
ReplyDeleteI started writing a memoir on 1/1/09. I'm determined to do 500 words a day and have it finished in a year.
Ms. Cynic- Ah well. There was an extra egg, cheese and bacon sandwich and you could have eaten it if you had been here.
ReplyDeleteSJ- my dreams are usually only remembered as broken fragments but these lately have been different. They stick in my mind and affect the way I feel when I wake up.
MOB- yes, yes, I do the trimming thing as well. Lord. Aging. But this one hair- well, it was a rogue, even amongst the wild.
I, too, am writing a memoir! It's a memoir/cookbook! We shall encourage each other on!
Recurring dreams can be so unnerving. I have seen the same house literally dozens of times in my dreams, but have never actually seen or been in it. And I'm always hiding from someone when I'm in that house. It appears to be mine, but I have no idea why so many family members are angrily yelling and beating at my door, or why I feel the need to lock the doors and hide. So weird.
ReplyDeleteMmmm, bacon sandwiches...I'll probably dream about eating those in my hideout house tonight.
You know, I bet you saw my humongous chin pimple the other day and your body got jealous of it so it produced a forehead pimple. It happens to me all the time.
ReplyDeleteSo you're welcome for that.
Rachel- I always say the mind is a scary place when left to its own devices.
ReplyDeleteHoneyLuna- you may be right. Thanks. A lot.
I LOVE YOUR NEW PICTURE! Jesus pleasus Mama, you are so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteHeh-heh, Miss Maybelle. I love Photo Booth. You take a million pictures, one of them is going to come out okay.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I was the boy in this case. I was the least useful, anyway. But it was a good time, and the bacon sandwiches were well worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have certain dream sets that I tend to use over and over. A large, Victoria-style house is the most common. I sort of love it, though, I'd move into it in a minute.
I am making no claims on the boy-to-man ratio on that particular job. I do know you all ate your sandwiches like men.
ReplyDeleteWhat did P. say about your car?
It's what dad thought it might turn out to be (not sure, myself, what that is) and I can baby it until my next paycheck. So, not bad news.
ReplyDeleteWhich is why they call him The Car Guy. He can save your ass.
ReplyDeleteGlad that's what it was.
Me, too! Dad rocks.
ReplyDelete