And Then... Getting Back Into The Bitch's Britches

So where were we? Coming to the end of my days at Weight Watchers. Besides being burnt out and having to deal with the corporation, my agent was telling me she could sell my book. WOULD sell my book. We had just moved to Lloyd. I was barreling down the highway towards menopause. Time for change, right?

It was surprisingly easy to quit except for that Thomasville meeting. I had women who had been coming to my meeting for five years. They never really lost weight- it was just a place to come and be social for a couple of hours every Thursday. But they weren't gaining weight either and they were learning how to eat well and get some exercise and so I never felt like I was failing them. And I loved the little old ladies I worked with although that was getting frustrating too. I couldn't leave the meeting until all the tallies were totaled and resolved and the money counted and accounted for and it was getting harder and harder and harder for them to do that. Sometimes I just did it myself after everyone else had gone because there was grumbling from the head office that these ladies had perhaps already given their best years to Weight Watchers and needed to move on and I was determined that would NOT happen under my watch.
But finally, I did announce I was leaving and I left. To live in my dream house in Lloyd and write and get published and garden and finish up my years of having children at home and gently settle into the next phase of my life.

The money certainly hadn't been a big consideration. I doubt I paid two weeks' worth of groceries on what I made a month at Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers knows it has its employees in its grip because here's the secret of why most people work at Weight Watchers:
To keep their own weight off.
To be employed by the company you have to have gotten to your goal weight on the program and remained there for a certain amount of time. And you have to stay there in order to be employed. In their defense, as I said, their ranges for goal weight are not unreasonable at all. You can be at the top of your goal weight and certainly not be skinny. But I had a problem with some of the regional managers who in my (now professional) opinion were way off the charts on the heavy side. I didn't understand how they managed to stay employed.
But that is neither here nor there. The point is, Weight Watcher employees are incredibly loyal because they know that if you work the program it works. And they're afraid if they quit, they'll gain weight. It's sort of like semi-paid volunteer work. Oh, it's all legal and you make minimum wage and if you have huge meetings and if you work a lot, you can make good money. I just wasn't dedicated enough to go those extra miles. I liked what I did- a few meetings a week- and that was enough for me. But the bucks weren't there by any means.

However, I, too, was pretty concerned that I would lose my own motivation and gain weight. I thought I could do it myself and perhaps if I hadn't injured my knee and was thus unable to walk for several months, I wouldn't have. But the fact of the matter is, that I did start to gain again. Slowly, but surely.

Until finally I decided to "do something" and what I did was order the new Weight Watchers program online which was something called The Core Program and that was the beginning of a whole new way of eating for me. It completely eliminated weighing and measuring of food and you could eat as much as you wanted of certain foods as long as you didn't eat ANY of others and some were restricted. The foods you could eat all you wanted of- beans, whole grains, most vegetables, etc., were foods I loved. Why not?

And I lost some weight.

Not as much as I wanted but I was going through menopause and I was happy with where I was, so no problem.

And then I went and got my cholesterol checked. It was high. My mother's is high, my brother's is high. So was mine.

And me, being stubborn as a mule, decided I could deal with the cholesterol issues on my own without medication.

Which I have done.

And kept my weight mostly under control for quite a while now. Because here's something that's not a big secret- the foods that are high in cholesterol are usually high in calories. And the foods that help you fight cholesterol are the very ones the Core progam stressed- mostly high-fiber, plant-based foods. And I got serious. I practically eliminated cheese from my diet. My dairy comes from fat free yogurt or cottage cheese. I never liked milk anyway, so giving that up was no problem. I switched to soy milk on my cereal. My low-sugar, high-fiber cereal. I mostly made my own bread with lots of oat bran and flax in it. I practically eliminated white sugar and flour from my diet. Not entirely, but almost. I ate whole grains. Brown rice, quinoa, whole wheat flour, whole wheat pasta. I did not entirely cut out red meat but cut down on it tremendously. My diet became much more on the vegetarian side. I learned to become content with a small bit of very dark chocolate every day. When I was hungry, I asked myself what I needed, not what I wanted. How much protein had I had that day? How much fruit? Vegetables? Any dairy yet? I got rid of almost all the foods that I knew weren't good for me. If they're not in the house, the opportunity to eat them disappears. Especially in Lloyd where you can't even get pizza delivered.

I realized that although your body will always tell you it's hungry for Doritoes, it doesn't have the same reaction to a bowl of beans and rice. Once you're full, you're done.

I exercised even more regularly.
My weight and cholesterol came down.
And that's what I continue to do to this day.

Now let's face it- I am not perfect. Over the holidays this year I lost my mind. I ate cookies and candy. I ate stuff I never eat. And once again, my weight crept up. I don't even want to think about my cholesterol.

And so, I'm getting myself back into the swing of it all. I'm remembering why I eat the way I eat and I'm not beating myself up about it and I'm not even getting on a scale. I don't have to. I know how my britches fit.

And here's the thing- Mr. Moon has gone along for the ride and he has, for the last several years, gotten up without complaint at six a.m. to go to a gym and work out and he has seen changes resulting from the way we eat and from his work-outs that are amazing.

Plus, I'm a very creative cook. I can make simple and good-for-you foods that taste great. My meals satisfy us on a lot of different levels. I am lucky in that my husband provides us with great low-fat, healthy protein sources- venison and fish. We garden. I want to get better at that and more serious.

And I am not obsessed any more about food or what I eat or don't eat and not about what I weigh. I rarely go more than three hours without eating something. A few nuts. A few slices of tofu that I've pressed and frozen and marinated and baked and keep in the refrigerator. Some fruit. I do not go hungry. Ever.

We still eat biscuits. Very occasionally. We still eat pork chops. At least once a month. But overall, I remember what Michael Pollan says: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
I know that a bar you get at the health food store probably isn't as good for you and has a lot more calories in it than a few prunes and some raw almonds. I know that cereal in a box isn't as good for you as whole-grain oatmeal. I know that a glass of juice has far more calories and no fiber in it while a piece of the fruit used to make the juice is more filling and has fiber. I know that the smoothies I make for Mr. Moon and myself out of fruit and low-fat yogurt and flax seed meal are better and healthier than the five dollar ones you buy at juice bars.

And I know that when I eat that way, I feel better, I am eating closer to the earth and closer to the way our bodies evolved to eat.

It's been a long path, getting to this place. Almost fifty years.
A process.

One that's worked for me but that may not work for anyone else.
We all have to find our own way.

It's funny. I find myself dreaming about Weight Watchers more than you'd think. I always find myself at a meeting and I am having to substitute for the leader and I have no idea what that week's topic is (and they were SO lame, usually) or who any of the people are, but I find I love being back in front of a group again. In a way, that was such a great job for me. I got to be a combination preacher and stand-up comedian. I had a reason to dress up a little. I was out in the world. I got to help people and I got to talk about one of my favorite subjects in the world- food- a lot.

But I believe in real life, I've said everything I ever need to say about weight loss to a meeting-room full of people.

But I am very grateful for my years associated with that program. It helped me find my own path. A path which I don't feel is an artificial one or one of denial. AT ALL. Which I love. It introduced me to the knowledge that the best way to eat is a sensible way. To eat a wide variety of foods and to enjoy them. To eat the way the rest of the world mostly eats- beans, grains, vegetables, fruits, a little meat.

And now it's time for me to go eat my lunch. The other day I picked some greens from the garden and sauteed them in a little olive oil with red pepper and tomatoes and onion and garlic and then I cooked some quinoa and edamame beans with them. I threw in a little of my tofu and some sundried tomatoes and there was plenty left over for another meal. It'll taste better today than it did then and it was mighty tasty when I made it.

And in a few weeks, my britches will be fitting just fine. I'm not anxious. But right now- I'm hungry.

Time to eat.