If Cursing Offends You, This One Is Not For You

I am just fucking cranky today. That's all there is to it. And things like these displays at the Costco have not helped. 
And actually, maybe I wasn't cranky so much as just not in the mood to take any shit. I think I was pretty sweet to my husband and Jessie when we had lunch together and I was nice to our server because she didn't annoy the living hell out of me and when I made a funny face at a little guy in a cart at Costco and he smiled and started waving to me I felt like I'd been handed a hundred silver dollars. 
But when a woman behind Jessie and me in line waiting to get our carts checked with our receipts started saying things like, "This is totally inappropriate!" because for whatever reason there was only one employee doing that instead of the regular two and then, when the Karen said, "I'm going to start going to Sam's!" I really, really wanted to turn around and say, "Well, please do, lady. Get your spoiled white hiney over to Sam's and see if they recognize your obvious superiority to the rest of us who are waiting patiently in line."
And I don't know. She may have been on her way to an appointment to get her gallbladder removed. 
Probably not, but you know what I mean. 
And I considered that perhaps she was going through something I had no idea about and shouldn't judge her and then my evil side came back out and said, "Fuck that."
And then, and THEN, when the guy in the liquor store said, in response to something, "There's a purpose for everything," I said, "And it's not always a good one."
Then he started talking about how even when it appeared to be something bad, we could always choose to learn something from it. 
And of course he was probably about thirty-two years old, if that. 
So I said, "Yeah, I used to believe that too." Which was truly just rude. I admit that.
And I guess I did used to believe in the theory that everything happened for a reason and blah, blah, blah. Now I pretty much just believe that random shit happens and some of it is really, really fucked up. Of course you can choose to learn that from a bad experience. Which isn't very positive. 
I think about Glen's friend. 
Y'all- he is not doing good. His prognosis is not the best. At all. And despite what is probably the best medical care he could be getting from various doctors who are all specialists in their fields, he is not responding to treatment. A week ago, he was a seemingly healthy, hale man and then within moments, he was in danger of dying. 
What's the purpose of that? What can he or his wife or his family or any of us choose to learn from that?
Oh sure. Life is tenuous. We never know from one moment to the next what's going to happen. But do we not all already know this? Was his condition laid upon him by the universe for others to learn from? 
Oh hell no. 

Okay. One more thing. And this is really petty. 

I was at Publix. As I so often am. And the woman who was bagging my groceries is a manager of some sort. First she asked me if I needed help unloading my cart. I had about five things left to put on the belt and none of them were heavy in the least. Plus, they were all right there in the child seat place. I didn't even have to lean over to retrieve them. At first I really didn't understand what she was asking. Obviously I didn't need any Gee Dee help. I was doing just fine unloading bananas and light bulbs. 
But then, when I went to take my groceries out to the car, I realized she had packed my big canvas bags so lightly that some of them literally had one item in them. A bunch of bananas in one bag. A tray of okra, some ginger root, and a bag of Pepperidge Farm stuffing in another. Do I really look this old and incapacitated? 
When I got to the car, I rebagged the items. She had my stuff in six bags and I easily condensed them into three. And then, just to prove how very not incapacitated I am, I carried those bags, plus the bags holding my Costco groceries in one single trip into the house. Plus my purse. Plus my thermal water bottle. 
See this, lady? Yeah. I sure showed her, didn't I? 

And none of it should have upset me like this. None of it. 
Okay. Maybe the Karen. Karens upset everyone. Well, except other Karens or Mr. Karens. 
It's just...life. 

I wonder what I'm really angry about. I honestly do not know. Quite possibly the fact that I am aging at a not insignificantly rapid rate and even worse, I look like it. 
Even as I feel younger than I have in years. 
Mostly. 
Well, pretty much. 
And I was even wearing a really cute dress! With pearl earrings that I discovered I owned when I took a bracelet I had hanging on my bathroom wall off it's little nails (storage AND decor) and which I had no memory of ever having. The earrings. Not the bracelet. I got that and also another outrageous vintage bracelet from Lynn, years and years ago and as I recall, she knew someone who'd had a house fire and everything smelled like smoke so she was getting rid of all of it and Lynn took the bracelets, thinking I'd like them. 
I love them. 

These charms are huge which is why a pair of earrings with relatively large "pearls" could be hidden behind them. 
I should actually wear these bracelets. And isn't that what an old lady would and should do? Wear crazy costume jewelry that clanks and clinks when it moves? That has missing stones and has perhaps lost its luster? 
I've never thought of myself as a "big" jewelry type of woman but perhaps it's time to simply move into that stage of age and accept the fact that if not now, when? 

I know I look like an old lady. I have white hair, my skin is...well, let's face it...ill-fitting as I said the other day. My bosoms are exactly what a pair of bosoms that joyfully and successfully breastfed four babies with should look like (and no bra-like garment is going to change that fact) and my ear lobes, no matter what beautiful earrings dangle from them are stretched and Buddha-like. 
Still. I am not yet too weak to carry more than one bunch of bananas at a time. 
That day, if I live long enough, will come. 
Until then, please don't condescend to me and make assumptions based on nothing but age discrimination. 
And don't say stupid shit about how everything has a purpose which is exactly like saying, "God's ways are not our ways," and also, if you don't have the patience to wait forty-five seconds in a line at Costco, just order your shit from Amazon. 
Okay? 
Spare the rest of us your inability to be comfortable with the fact that we are all in this together, whether it's a line or a life. Can you imagine having a life in which something like there only being one employee checking receipts is a major disruption in your day? That it could be labeled as "inappropriate"? Oh honey, I could tell you about inappropriate and that ain't it. That ain't even close. 

Carry on. 

Love...Ms. Moon