If yesterday was about contentment and getting things done and sweetness, today has been about a lint-gray sky and always feeling cold even though it hasn't been cold and trying to figure out why I have two appointments with Dr. Zorn, one in March, one in May, and also trying to figure out why my G.D. mobile credit union app won't take my password OR send me an email with a code on it to create a new password, and wondering all day long about why I have these crummy dreams set in places beside an ocean but an ocean which is fierce and somehow heavily involved in some sort of heavy industry and we're not talking wind turbines. In fact, I realize now that I have a lot of dreams set in places where roads or buildings are being constructed and there are always huge trucks and huge heavy equipment which would definitely not be appropriate to operate while taking certain medications. And on top of the wild seas and so forth, I kept being called a "clan mother" which somehow translated to being responsible for many children and I kept saying, "But I'm so tired. I've been doing this since I was 21 years old!" and no one listening or caring and oh yeah, my husband had left me AGAIN!
And Clan Mother? What is that? I should live in cave and wear the skins of mastodons and make herbal tinctures to cure illnesses and ensure fertility, while I'm changing diapers made of linen that I wove from the flax I grew and making sure the toddlers neither fall in the fire or get snatched by saber-toothed tigers?
What the fucking fuck is wrong with me?
I did figure out that one of the appointment cards is for Glen who also goes to Dr. Zorn. I was trying to get my 2026 calendar in order with the dates of birthdays and anniversaries, and so forth and filling in the days with appointments already made. And yes, I do still use a paper calendar and it's always a Virgin of Guadalupe calendar because that is the way I do it and there you go.
I've got two dang appointments coming up quick-quick, both with doctors I asked Zorn to refer me to, one a dermatologist, one a urologist and that's not helping my mindset very much. Why the hell are these doctors so quick to schedule appointments?
Glen has gone fishing again. He got up in the dead of night to drive down to the coast with his friend Rob to be on the boat at dawn. He just texted a few minutes ago to say they'd reached land safely. He won't be home for hours and he plans to go duck hunting tomorrow which also requires a predawn rising and I feel certain he'll sleep most of the day after he gets home. He keeps telling me that he refuses to die just sitting in his chair and I don't think that's going to be a problem unless he expires from fatigue while he's sleeping in it.
On top of it all, I don't feel like I got anything done. I just felt too low to do much of anything although I did finally get my ass out to the garden to do some more weeding where, as you can see, my loyal (not a saber-toothed) tiger cat followed me and hung out the entire time I was there. I was hoping for a garden dirt cure but really, all that happened is that I aggravated the sore place in my ribs. And to add insult to injury, I was listening to a book that's, at the very best, tolerable. Until, that is, the author starts another sex scene. I'm too old for that. Not sex, in and of itself, but of sex scenes in books where the author quickly runs out of adjectives and phrases used to describe heat, passion, and desire. Know what I mean? Maybe it's just me but no one ever seems to get it right.
I finished a patch on my old jeans so yippie! This is taking forever. I want to get started on mending a pair of Owen's jeans that have quite a rip below one of the back pockets but since I forgot to bring them home, I couldn't get started on them anyway. I'll get them this week. Perhaps he can drive them out himself, seeing as they're on Christmas break. I asked him if he was afraid of color in the mending and he said he wasn't. I threatened to sew velvet strips to the hems of the legs and really hippie them out but he wasn't wild about that idea. I don't know why. He has such great hippie hair and I've done everything I can to instill hippie values in him.
I love that boy so much. He told me how sorry he was that I'd had a fall and he offered to come over and dig up all the roots to prevent me from tripping over another one. Which would be impossible but he was so sweet to offer. He told me, "You're a tough little lady."
Okay, okay. I'll be the Clan Mother. Whatever.
And I see this post is going nowhere. Just bitch, bitch, bitch, complain, complain, complain, and so forth ad nauseam. It's felt like a Sunday all day and I'm going to be surprised to wake up tomorrow and discover it's Sunday again.
But let us not end on a bad note. I just watched this and it made me feel so much better. I hope you enjoy it.
Ask and ye shall receive? It's always worth a try.
Mr moon off again?? The woods and waters will be empty before he's done.
ReplyDeleteWell, he hasn't yet. He hasn't even gotten a deer this year! He just likes to be out in the woods, I think. And oh yes, on the ocean. And the rivers. And lakes. Etc.
DeleteIt is the call of the wild for GM. He's off again. It must be your TLC and healthy meals that keep his engine going full steam ahead.
ReplyDeleteYour freezer must be full of fresh, wild caught fish and game.
You've written a whirlwind of a post, so all is good.
My freezer is getting pretty low on game. No deer this year for him! I try to keep him fed in a healthy way and love him the best I can.
DeleteI loved Dr Hook and the Medicine Show when I was in high school. I had the .45 of that song, if I remember correctly.
ReplyDeleteIt was such a fantastic song. I mean, it wasn't "A Day in the Life" by the Beatles or "Satisfaction" by the Stones but it was catchy and funny as hell.
DeleteAww, such a good old song!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it?
DeletePlease Bitch Bitch Bitch ALL you NEED too CLAN Woman. I AM LISTENING. I WILL ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOU!!!!!! I will be your witness to your life. That really is what we women do.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Trust me- there will always be bitching here.
DeleteI also use a paper calendar, but mine has Day of the Dead Sugar Skulls on it. There's no virgins of any kind in my home. I'm sorry your rib area is still hurting, maybe you cracked one just slightly?
ReplyDeleteYou are a clan mother, but modern style, with phones, and ovens that don't require gathering wood first. And nappies (diapers) that don't require skinning animals and curing the hides and softening them enough to wrap around a baby.
No virgins of any kind in your home? I'm pretty sure Maurice may be a virgin. I do have lots of Madonnas around here.
DeleteI've wondered if I could have cracked a rib but it's healing too fast, I think, for it to have been that.
Thank goodness I didn't have to skin animals and cure hides to make diapers. How did those women do it?
I've always loved that song. When I was a little kid I was confused because I only knew of the Rolling Stones as a rock group my daddy liked. Then there was the song by Bob Dylan about a rolling stone(one of the Rolling Stones?), so I figured the whole thing was more complicated than I as a kid could undertand! Haha, I like little me!
ReplyDeleteAnd then add this to the mix: "Rollin' Stone" is a blues song recorded by Muddy Waters in 1950. It is his interpretation of "Catfish Blues", a Delta blues that dates back to 1920s Mississippi.[3] "Still a Fool", recorded by Muddy Waters a year later using the same arrangement and melody, reached number nine on the Billboard R&B chart. "Rollin' Stone" has been recorded by a variety of artists.
DeleteAnd that's where the Rolling Stones got their name.
I've seen a performance of Dylan doing "Like a Rolling Stone" with the Stones. It is complicated!
I like little you too.
Aw man, I saw Dylan at a concert with Elton John as the main act. I was impressed that he was performing, but couldn't understand his words at all. Felt so sad for him. We were there for Elton and boy did he deliver! That was 39 years ago, heh, I was 20, still a baby for one more year.
DeleteI’ve missed a lot here. I’ve decided to start in the present and catch up reading backwards. The parallel life you visit in your dreams seems like a challenging one! But I really can see you as a clan mother, in that life and in this one. Through this blog, your clan extends far and wide, and you are much adored. Ok, reading on. Love.
ReplyDeleteLove you too. So much. I find that my dreams, though weird and not always pleasant, are pretty entertaining.
DeleteI often have horrible dreams too - they last about four nights and then calm down. Most often I'm in a dreadful either derelict house or a huge house full of rooms and loads of people and crying kids tearing the place to pieces. I used to have nightmares about screaming at my ex to get out of my house but thankfully those stopped. I (think) I finally figured out that my bladder is sending me stress signals to say "get up or else" - and that (or when I'm too hot) is when the nightmares occur. Last night there was a bear cub running through my yard (even though we don't have them round here) but who knows what the heck causes them really! On another note I also use an A4 diary for everything too, but I also realized I needed to put everything in my phone calendar for when I'm out and people are trying to make plans. Mind you, when I lost my phone for 48 hours not so long I go I was REALLY glad I also keep a paper diary!
ReplyDeleteThe derelict house is a constant in my dreams. I hate that house. There is nothing about it I like. And it is filthy and filled with dirty laundry and rotting food and old, nasty appliances that don't really work. I think you may be right about the signals from the bladder.
DeleteYou have a much busier social life than I do. The odds of me trying to make plans with people when I'm out of the house are super low.
I hadn’t made the Cocaine Katy connection until the video. That left me smiling. I hope it did you, too!
ReplyDeleteOh yes. Whenever I patch Glen's jeans and embroider on the patches, he sings that song. What could be more loving that embroidering on someone's jeans?
DeleteIt's still the time of the dark of the year...no wonder lots of dreams are weird, mine too! I have a friend who still does paper calendars too...but I've used my phone calendar for years. Doesn't sync with the computer though cause I messed up somehow. Birthdays appear automatically at least. But I can put things in to remind me to take a certain pill which I forgot last week...or do laundry!
ReplyDeleteI don't use my phone calendar at all and I know that's a huge waste of technology. Honestly, I don't have that many things I need to remember but I've found that putting things on the calendar doesn't really insure that I'll actually look at it.
DeleteThat's a very happy song. Thanks Mary, made me smile big. I remember a snippet of a dream where someone was in the backseat of my car and paying no attention to the wrapped present for my daughter and I was so angry yelling at them that they had crunched it and "it was wrapped so beautifully!"
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny, Ellen! I'm sure your presents are wrapped beautifully with your hand decorated paper but I can't imagine you yelling at someone for messing it up. Dreams are just bizarre sometimes.
DeleteYou are allowed to bitch and complain as much as you want, god knows I do:) I want company.
ReplyDeleteSome days are just hard and some days are just so easy. I always wonder why.
I just let the cat out and then back in. She has to experience the cold feet herself, she doesn't believe me when I tell her it's too damned cold. It's still -10F, but it's supposed to warm up today so I can finally take the dogs for walks again.
I love that song and reminds me of when I was a young woman. I'm sure people look at me and see an old lady now, but inside, we're all still young, aren't we?
Take care sweetie.
My cat does not listen to me either. What is wrong with these creatures? Well, Maurice does listen when I ask her if she wants her treat. She always says yes.
DeleteAs I keep saying- temperatures like -10F are not temperatures that humans should be exposed to. I really would die. I say that all the time too, don't I?
We are still young inside. In fact, I think we have all the ages of ourselves we've ever lived inside of us at all times.
You take care too.