Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Skipping Like A Dipshit


I know absolutely nothing about this painting. It accompanied a post on Facebook on a Florida memories group. The post was about Palatka which is across the state to the east of here. I sent the picture to Lis and told her it was another of our dream houses. She agreed and asked if we could turn the attic into the sewing room. We've always fancied the idea of living together in our old age with the men around too. Goodness knows we would have many projects that they would be so thrilled to do for us. 


I went for a walk today and stole those beauties from a bush in the yard of the former Lloyd Women's Club. The blooms change color as they mature. I have decided that I am going to start a movement wherein we stop calling this plant a confederate rose and rename it with what it should be called which is "Prom Queen Posy." "Ballerina Beauty" would also work.
What do you think?

Today's been a rough day. Emotionally, I have felt fragile as a crystal wineglass, and then, in an attempt to try and get a few endorphins going I took a mere two-mile walk and now my sciatica is as bad as it ever was and the knee on that same side feels like it's going out and so now I'm in worse shape emotionally and physically than I was before and I keep thinking- this is how my life is now. Things hurt and it hurts to move and it hurts to, well, live. 
And then I feel so very guilty because I have a beautiful life and am actually pretty healthy for an old woman who's spent her life carrying and bearing babies and toting them around and gardening and walking and all that stuff and hell, I've had depression my whole life and anxiety too and shouldn't I know how to deal with those things by now and if I did all the right things like lose weight and meditate and do yoga and participate more in a community it would fix me right up!
Right? Right! Just change your attitude, baby! Change your life and make it better! Go on, you can do it! One step in front of the other! 

And then I cry some more.

Aw, shit.

Here I am again. 

And moving on, I saw that my neighbor's sasanquas are blooming. Bad photos but I honestly can't see a thing when I'm taking pictures in the sun. 




"Sasanqua" actually refers to the type of camellia these flowers are. They are camellia sasanqua, not camellia Japonica as the later-blooming ones are like the pink perfections and all of those magical flowers that will soon be opening and breaking my heart with their beauty all winter long. 
But the sasanquas are pretty too and I love the way their petals fall, creating a carpet of pink beneath them. 

I also noticed on my walk that the tea olives this year really are more fragrant. I could smell them when I went past yards even when I could not see them. And my own have a scent so strong that I can smell them from my back porch, even though the nearest tree is at least a dozen yards away. Scent molecules drenched in perfume. 

When I went to the post office, I checked on My Gypsy Soul Boutique. 


Rather unbelievably and despite my deep misgivings about Lloyd being a place to open a hippie stuff shop*, it is still open. 
But wait. This sign is in the window.


It would appear that the store is only open when the farmer's market is set up on Saturdays. And the woman who owns the boutique is the one who has organized the farmer's market so I guess, in some ways, things are working out for her? Maybe? I always forget it's there on Saturdays but the venders keep coming back so I guess it's doing okay. I wonder how the Tarot and palm readings are coming along.

I have no doubt that all of you have been on the edges of your seat, wondering what had become of that particular Lloyd feature. 

I also know that all of us here, or at least most of us, feel as if we are waiting on a biopsy report as the days count down to the election. Fourteen days, right now. Two weeks. Things have gotten progressively weirder as Trump's exhaustion, age, and genetic propensity towards dementia are catching up with him. Too many examples to even start listing. I will say that yesterday when I ordered Mr. Moon's favorite lunching-out beverage at the restaurant where we met May and Michael because he had dropped me off to go park the car, I almost could not get my words out. 
The beverage? An Arnold Palmer. Which is half sweet tea and half lemonade. Supposedly this was the pro golfers's favorite drink. And why was it so hard for me to utter these words to the server? I'm sure you know but if you don't, just google "Trump, Arnold Palmer," and you'll get it. 
The perverse, probably-in-early-dementia-person that I am almost asked if they had really big Arnold Palmers but I stopped myself. 

And yet, this quote by Tim Walz delighted me.

“Look, Elon’s on that stage, jumpin’ around, skipping like a dipshit,” Walz said, prompting cheers.

Say it, Tim! Speak the truth and fear no man! Or woman! 

What crazy times we live in. There is the possibility that my depression and anxiety are the sanest reactions to all of it there are. 

I still hate them. 

Love...Ms. Moon

*And we all know that I am and have always been a hippie so that was not a derogatory description.











49 comments:

  1. First, not "ballerina" anything, since ballet pink already refers to a very pale and slightly dulled (as opposed to a cutesy baby-type) pink. "Pepto-Bismol" is more like it, I think.

    Second, Trump missed a great opportunity with his vulgar Palmer remarks. He should have consulted his son-in-law's parents, who probably knew some Yiddish, and who could have told him that Arnold Palmer is a great golfer, known for the length of his putts. ("Putz" has several meanings-- three guesses what one of them is!)

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    1. You made me laugh! DT has to know what a putz is. I mean- he is from NY, right? Hell, I know and I'm just an old southern lady.

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  2. Tim and I were talking about Elon Musk today. You know, people will actually kill other people for less than a million bucks. What do you think the odds are that they will vote for satan himself for a chance to win a million dollars. Of course, there is always the possibility that some clever bunny will register to vote as a republican and then become a republican for harris.

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    1. It does not seem like you have to be registered as a Republican. I don't really understand how this works. And of course the legality is being challenged.

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  3. Actually, I WAS thinking about "My Gypsy Soul" the other day and wondered if it was still around. Talk about limited hours! Worse than my bank. I can't
    imagine she'd sell enough to stay afloat. Does she own the building? Maybe it's more-or-less a hobby? Every time I turn the computer on, I have a panic attack. Now I read western PA is already celebrating a Trump victory. I about puked. How hard is it to move to Cananda? Have you had that knee x-rayed? Check YouTube for sciatica exercises. They helped me. The glycosamide/chondroitin has helped my knees, too. Plus, losing 80 lbs. has also helped...thanks to being able to walk 3x day. The flowers are beautiful, as usual and that painting is really cool. Talk about 'old south'. Dreamy, indeed. Feel better.
    Paranormal John

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    1. Oh, I know that every ill I suffer would either disappear or radically get better if I lost weight. I have no doubt about this. It's like I used up all my self-discipline and motivation when I was younger. I sure am proud of you, though!
      I do not know how hard it is to move to Canada. Too cold for me though. It would have to be Mexico and of course I'd have to move my whole family down there and I don't know if they'd all agree to that. Damn.

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    2. Also yes- the owner of the boutique owns the building as well and honestly, it's a cement shack.

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  4. I admit I am sick with anxiety. How can we be going thru this again? Have we not learned anything? And Dave Ramsay? Not that I've followed you, but millions have, and you're marching them all into the ocean!

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    1. I'm sorry, Carol. I don't really get what you're saying here. Millions have followed Dave Ramsay? Is he the financial guru?

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    2. Yes and he's voting for trump.

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  5. I have been following American election news almost obsessively via "The Meidas Touch" and just before I came over here I was watching Tim Walz's speech from Madison, Wisconsin - the very one you referred to. With regard to that vulgar locker room talk about Arnold Palmer, it is clear that Trump thinks more about people's genitalia than he does about their character or abilities. What a thoroughly horrible man!

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    1. He does seem to be obsessed with manly men. Or what he defines as a manly man and it appears to me that he wants to be one of those tough guys more than anything in the world and since his penis is obviously (and according to Stormy Daniels) not that impressive, he thinks that being the president of the US absolutely will make him strong like an ox. He an hang out with all his fascist dictator friends again.

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  6. Lately, I choose to tune out DT and EM. Both are escalating their lies and nonsense. Garbage in, garbage out... I have no time for either of them.
    I like Confederate Rose. It is a real beauty. I would grow a dedicated garden full of them if they could survive in MA.
    FYI: Regarding pain, a friend of mine sees a Certified Chiropractic Sports Physician. This doc determined she had a spasming muscle on the back of her knee, precipitated by sciatic and/or seized hip muscle. Having a diagnosis is the ideal and treatment can resolve the issues.

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    1. The delightful Prom Queen Posies grow to be trees so you wouldn't really need that many of them. Moot point though, as I don't think they would survive in MA.
      I'm seeing my doctor again sometime next month. I'll talk to him about things. I know his sister is an orthopedic surgeon.

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  7. oh, I can't bear the thought of the possibility of the horrible way I woke up to election news 8 years ago...can't bear it. So I'm sort of just waiting...like everyone else and it's not fun. And I'm all for name the rose *something else* whatever that may be. I like BB, as you said. And I'm not going to *rah rah* YOU..... because I can't even do that for myself...(pretty much in similar *boat* as you are)....but I will say that one foot in front of the other is all we can really try to do....as best as we can. I don't know how the GSB survives with those hours!
    Susan M

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    1. I, too, remember what it was like to wake up on the day after the election when Trump won. Like being in a nightmare you can't get out of.
      I don't think that the boutique IS making it. I mean really- five hours a week? Nah.

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  8. I've done my bit for the election. I'm blocking out all references to the dreadful man and hoping my bit helps us get rid of him.
    There's a peony like that rose, named Fairy's Petticoat.

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    1. Ooh...Fairy's Petticoat! What a delicious name!

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  9. Tim Walz was on fire today. Loved it! Keep the faith!

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  10. I get so pissed off when my depression rears it's ugly head. I've spent my whole life, working so hard to deal with depression, with limited success. Actually retirement does seem to help, to a degree, certainly less stress, but still it haunts me.
    And yes, you have a good life, but that doesn't change your brain chemistry at this point. And your stepfather, another piece of shit, hurt you in the worst way. You don't have to apologize for getting depressed or feeling anxious. Sending hugs and love sweetie.

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    1. It sucks, doesn't it? I hate that anyone in this world has to go through depression or anxiety. And you're right. Your place in life or society don't really matter. If you have it, you have it.

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  11. Appreciate the hippie shop update 😀 Two weeks to go and I'm in a lower anxiety phase which I hope keeps up.

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  12. I've heard about the Arnold Palmer story and what's weird is he says it all over the place not just at that one rally, such a fixation and need to repeat it are surely signs of dementia.
    I'm kind of glad the Gypsy Boutique is still hanging in there even if only for the Saturday markets.
    I love the house in the painting.

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    1. Oh, he has dementia, no doubt.
      I still can't believe the woman who opened the boutique thought she could make any money on it.
      I love that house too!

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  13. Maybe your depression is indeed a reaction to the upcoming election. I know I'm usually on edge before an election and I don't suffer from depression! At least you have Hank's wedding to look forward to - what a fun celebration that will be!

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    1. Oh my goodness- trust me- the thought of the wedding gives me anxiety too. Too many people I'll be expected to talk to! And so forth. I mean, I definitely want Hank and Rachel to get married and have the wedding they want and deserve and it will be a most happy occasion but I will be anxious.

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  14. Your reactions are definitely sane. Anyone would be depressed and anxious given the current political climate. And many of us are!

    I'm impressed the MGSB is still chugging along, though only barely. Wasn't she open every day at first? And we all wondered how long that was going to last.

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    1. I think she was open every day but Mondays when she started. Something like that.
      I think you're right- you'd have to be deaf, blind, and really out of touch with reality not to be incrediby worried about this election.
      Can you believe the boutique is still open? Well, sort of.

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  15. Depression is such an evil thing, lurking behind bushes and then reaching out to grab you. I have never had it but know many who struggle with it. It's a hard fight, not for the faint-hearted. I admire those who, like you, just get on with it even though they carry this devil on their back.
    The election: i tune it all out. I know howni will vote, and have accepted tbat if the Orange One wins, we will somehow suffer through the next 4 years. I do worry and fear the damage he will cause our country though, if he gets in there again.a

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    1. You are wise to not let the election news affect you so much. I admire that. I wish I could be the same. I just don't know that I believe that we can survive another four years of his insanity. When he got elected I knew that Roe V Wade was going to go down and who knew what else would be destroyed that we have fought so hard for like LGBTQ+ rights? And both of those things have happened. The constant lies are infuriating.

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  16. Thank for the photos of the lovely blooms! I'm trying to focus on the beauty of nature around me to quiet the anxiety building up in me as we get closer to Election Day. I hope so much for Harris/Walz to win and Democrats to do well all over the country. So I look at the beautiful leaves changing color here in Illinois. We have fabulous shades of red, orange, golden yellows in our trees right now. It calms me to celebrate that.

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    1. Yes. There is still much to be grateful for, to celebrate, to note and take joy in.

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  17. I tell people the hardest thing about yoga is getting yourself to the class (or rolling out the mat at home) and I guess that applies to a lot of other things.
    I'm more convinced than ever that the republican plan at this point is to get Trump elected and then 25th amendment the shit out of him and voila, president Vance. which is scarier than Trump as he is all in one Project 2025.
    I'm glad somebody's posies are doing well because mine are not.

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    1. I think you're right about yoga, Ellen. I also think you're right about the Republican party's strategy.

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  18. because of compromised eye sight- I read "Prom Queen Pussy" - which it could be- all pink and fresh...And because depression is visited frequently in this life of mine as well as millions of others , I get it. I do not appreciate it but i appreciate the sufferers and I do mean SUFFER! insideous imbalance , MOFO!
    Wearing my purple Kurta in PS on the Avalon grounds, a woman began talking to me like a sister- "Hippies, old hippies" we were immediately comfortable with one another. recognition.
    that house in old Fla is astonishing- Could i please live on it's porch?

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    1. Prom Queen Pussy would be perfectly descriptive.
      Love your Kurta story. I've been in similar situations where people thought surely I would be one of them because obviously we were both hippies but generally, I have not been drawn to them. I'm so fucking socially challenged.
      And yes. Fuck Depression and the black dog it rides in on.

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  19. I hate them too! And they should damn well pay me big money every time I have to look at Donald Dump and Elon Musk’s ugly, freakish faces together. Orange and fugly. I am sorry you are hurting. I guess now with my bitched up, double-broken wrist, I will soon be joining the club. Love you!

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    1. What? You broke your wrist! What's a double-break? Oh honey, I am so sorry.
      Walz does have a way with words, doesn't he? Calling Trump and Vance "just weird" and then calling Elon Musk a dipshit. I mean- he's so on point.

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    2. I broke two fine bones in my wrist. I am doing fine. Don’t worry. It’s just a temporary pain in the ass.

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  20. And I forgot to say I wish I had written “skipping like a dipshit.” TOTALLY JEALOUS.

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  21. Well I think menopause is one thing and I’m really all in favour, but those of us that have coped with depression all our lives should have something called ‘Depressopause”. ‘Cause there should be a break from this in our later years😎

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    1. Amen. Unfortunately menopause does not seem to be a cure for depression at all. At least in my case.

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  22. I loved what Tim Walz said about Elon too! I love that he can be both Minnesota nice AND Minnesota ice. I could imagine you and Luis and your men living in that house. I would love to visit you there and wander and look out from those wraparound porches and listen to the music of your sewing machines whirring upstairs.

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  23. *Lis. I have no idea why autocorrect thinks her name is Luis. Sigh.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.