Water And The Memory Of Water And How Time Flows Like A River

Glen and I picked beans in the rain today. It began to rain early on and is supposed to rain far into tomorrow with possible storms this evening. This is not good news for the many people who got hit hard by one or more of the tornados last Friday. There are so many houses that still have trees on them, roofs leaking, with no power. Entire neighborhoods just devastated. And I feel like I'm in a different country entirely. A country where yes, it's raining, but my roof is tight and my power is on and if it should go out, we have that fabulous generator. I keep saying this and I may have already said it here but we did not lose so much as a branch in that storm. 
Tom's trailer is...well. Let's just say that all of his things are going to shit as we speak. A piano, a TV, books...all of it. There's too much damage to just throw a tarp over it all. And the part of the roof that's still intact isn't very intact and Glen's been worried that it's just going to fall in at any moment. 
Which it could. 

He's been focusing on helping Tom out of this predicament since Saturday morning. I think he may have found two different tiny houses or small trailers that could be moved onto the property fairly quickly. But until then, for the moment at least, Tom is here. I guess he finally realized that he cannot stay in that trailer another night. I will tell you honestly that this is not an ideal solution for any of us but for now, it is what it is. He absolutely cannot stay in that trailer and although he is not happy with the option of staying here, I guess it's the best one he's got for now. 

The rain is coming down pretty hard and because we've had so much of it in the last months (except for that week or so of none), it doesn't bring with it the feeling of blessed relief that it usually does. It has cooled things off but everything is cloaked in what might as well be a gray veil and the air feels heavy and thick. I'm glad we got those beans picked and that they're already in their jars, ready for next winter, and I'm glad that Tom's here, dry and safe. 

Billy sent me a picture today that was taken I don't know how many years ago. 

And when I say he sent me a picture, I mean he sent a photograph in the mail. That was taken in our house, in the dining room and those two beautiful older people (probably about the same age then that I am now) were Billy's beloved grandparents, Nell, and Billy, Sr. I loved them so much. They were the most loving people you can imagine, taking in anyone who was a friend of Billy's, loving them too. Nell asked me to do the honors at her funeral, and I did, when that time came. 
And that guy on the left? That's my baby brother Russell who used to come and stay with us sometimes, whom we loved and who loved us. And I haven't seen him since my mother died eleven years ago. 
I cried when I saw the picture. I cried because MawMaw and PawPaw are gone, those beautiful, sweet people, and because my brother might as well be. He does not want to see me and it all stems from my mother's will and as I texted Billy, "Fucked-up family shit."
The sins of the father...
And so forth. 
And selfishly, I also cried because of how much I have aged in the last decades. I wish I'd known how lovely I was then. Glen looks about the same to me, ever Mr. Moon, ever my handsome man. 

And so that is heavy on me today too and now the rain is slapping the earth as if punishing it and I need to get in the kitchen and make our supper. 

Pizza! I'm making pizza tonight! That's cheerful, right? 
Here's something else that's cheerful.

That's a pretty little plate that Jessie made in the pottery class she's been taking. She gave it to me for Mother's Day. It is SO Jessie. And I love it.

Let us feel sad when we feel sad and let us, at the same time, rejoice in that which is good. 
If we can. If we possibly can.

Love...Ms. Moon