The Great Mystery And Message Of Found Objects

I woke up this morning and although I felt fine and rested, I just did not have the motivation I had yesterday. I was not shockked. Where and how I got that motivation, I do not know. It was definitely an aberration. 

So I wasted too much time reading blogs and doing a crossword and looking at stupid FB reels WHICH SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. Not me watching them but the reels themselves which I guess are TikToks, because they are as addictive as meth and just about as good for you. 
Okay. Let me be clear- I've never done meth. Okay? Just to set the record straight. I know that with me you can never be sure but somehow I have avoided that drug. 

I did, however, finally make it out to the garden where I did some weeding. I can only take so much of being out there in the sun, though. The heat just feels wicked and after awhile I had to come back inside to cool off but I really wanted to do some weeding in the little bed by the garden where the bananas and roses and pinecone lilies are so I did that and then I went back around to the front of the house where I pulled more crocosmia. That bed is where I found the marble I'm holding up there in the top picture. I love finding things in this yard. Bottles and shards of crockery, old railroad things, wagon wheel rims, strange tools, rusted and now useless but still interesting. 

That's an old pair of shears I found. Of course I hung them on a wall. You just never know what you'll find in the yard but I've found a nice little collection of toys. Some are little figures of plastic animals which are not really that old, and I've found quite a few marbles. 

That's my little windowsill menagerie. They make me smile to look at. There's a poker chip I found and I found a guitar pick in the garden once. There's a special magic in finding things that someone else dropped and left behind, don't you think? Holding it in your hand, wondering what the last person who held it was like, what their life was like. 
Once, a very long time ago when Hank and May were still very young and we lived about ten miles from here on a piece of property that was still mostly woods, I found an arrowhead in our dirt driveway. I was astounded. 
I'll never forget the way I felt, holding that very solid piece of such utilitarian artwork in my hand, seeing where the maker had chipped pieces off to make it sharp and fit to pierce the skin and flesh and muscle of a deer, as if I was suddenly and oddly aware that I was not quite alone there in that yard where I lived with my husband and babies and dogs and a cat. It was such tangible evidence of life before me. It felt like a message from a time long ago. A message that simply said, "I was here."

Of course I still have it. And I know that arrowheads are found all the time but this is the only one I ever found and I will never forget that moment- finding it, picking it up, wondering at it. It was near sunset and my husband was not at home, my children were in the house, and for that moment I was alone, but as I said- not alone. 

And those were very lonely days for me. I realize now that I was suffering from depression and not for the first time. My then-husband was away from home a great deal. He had not really wanted to settle down and although I know he loved his children very much and even loved me, he was resentful of the restrictions that marriage and a family put on him. And so that feeling of a different presence there when I saw the arrowhead was even more powerful, I guess. Not in a way like the spirit of someone was now hanging out with me but like a reminder that we come, we go, the world goes on and people have probably had the same feelings I did, the same hopes and dreams and disappointments and I was holding that truth in my palm. 

Well. 

Mr. Moon texted me just a little while ago that he was back onshore and all was well. I have no idea when he'll be in. They have to clean the boat and possibly clean the fish if they caught any, and attend to all of the chores that must be done after a day on the Gulf. 
I am so very fine with being alone at sunset now. Probably because I know that my partner, my husband, will be home when he can get here. For forty years he has always come home. How grateful I am that even when I'm alone now, I am not lonely because I know he'll be here eventually. 

I am so lucky.

Love...Ms. Moon