Saturday, May 11, 2024

This, That, And Everything Else

Well, what do I want to bitch about today? 
I really do not have a dang thing to complain about if you want to know the truth. This does not mean, of course, that I'm happy as a butterfly in a field of daisies because that's not how I'm wired. I've been thinking lately about how no matter what the situation, I immediately begin thinking of the very worst possible outcome there could be. Yes, I catastrophize. For a second I couldn't think of the word and my mind wanted to tell me it was "disasterphize" which actually works pretty well. 

I'm not really disaster- or catastro-phizing right now. Just the eternal background simmering that is always going on in my brain that pulses constantly saying, "watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out..."

I really do wonder what it's like not to have this sort of chatter in one's mind all the time. I remember after my friend Sue died and a few of her best friends and I were there with her as she slipped back into that other place from whence we come and where we go, and it was such a beautiful, calm, peaceful death that for quite awhile after I realized that I truly had nothing to fear. I thought that her passing might have healed me, even as it broke me, and I'm sure it did somewhat, but eventually, the little chattering monkeys came back to warn me of immediate and probable danger. 

At least I know I'm doing it when I do it. 

So tomorrow is Mother's Day. I have to tell you that after my mother died, Mother's Day got a lot easier for me. 
I'm just telling you all my secrets today, aren't I?
No. No I am not and besides that, I'm pretty sure I've made that statement before. It's just the truth. But let's not talk about that. My kids wanted to know last week what I wanted to do for Mother's Day and I gave the same answer I always give which is "nothing" because I know I love them and I think they love me and why make a fuss? 
But Hank, being the Family Organizer that he is, sort of insisted that we needed to get together and how it's played out is that anyone who wants to come out tomorrow for an early lunch nibble is invited and that includes grandchildren, of course. Rachel and Lily suggested that I order platters from Publix instead of making anything and although I'd never done that before, I did! Lily's going to pick them up when she takes Owen to work as sadly, he is scheduled when we'll be gathering. But I got small platters of little Cuban sandwiches and one of pinwheel sandwiches, one of vegetables, and one of fruit. And today I went to Costco and got some Tzatziki sauce because I love it and some smoked salmon and a shrimp cocktail platter and I don't know what all else. Not a whole lot more than that. 
I also got a Costco key lime pie that's about as big as a car tire and I sure hope it's good because there's a lot of it. 
So that will be so easy and so fun. 
I'm glad that Lily's coming because Lauren will be working and let's face it- Jason probably won't help the kids get anything together for her although he might. Who knows? And Jessie may come too. It would be nice to see all my babies together on Mother's Day but it's not like they all live in Wyoming or Hong Kong or something. As I always say, they are close enough for me to get my arms around anytime I need to. 

Mr. Moon is freaking out because he hasn't gotten me anything and I pleaded with him to please not worry because I DO NOT WANT ROSES FROM PUBLIX or anything like that. God. I have everything I need and so much more. 

Glen's been trying to help Tom find some options for a better living situation all day. This is a very low bar in that at this point, a large tent with good circulation would be better than that smashed up trailer. I really have no right to discuss Tom here. He is fiercely private and I respect that. But it's been our major topic of discussion and Glen's main objective for the past two days to try and come up with an idea that Tom would find acceptable. Glen's been hoping for several years to help get Tom out of that trailer without success and he really thought that the tree falling on it would push Tom to accept what most of us would call reality but it would seem that's not happening. 
Meanwhile, I am rather astounded at Mr. Moon's persistence and caring which are going way beyond the bounds of friendship. He's a better man than I, Gunga Din. 

Okay. Here's a thing that makes me happy. Not as happy as being married to such a good man, but still happy.

That's a three minute film that someone made of the Rolling Stones playing their last encore number, "Satisfaction," at their concert on May 7 in Glendale, Arizona. 
Watch it if you want, don't watch it if you don't. The sound is pretty lousy and the videography ain't great. BUT, it does show the incredible athleticism and seemingly ageless ability of Jagger to do what he does. He swivels, he jumps, he dances, he RUNS, he kneels, he leaps and he skips and he sings all the while. His voice sounds as good as it ever has. You can see Keith and Ronnie laughing in delight. It is beautiful and it is a reminder that miracles do still occur and by god, if Mick Jagger can do THAT, then hell yes, the Stones should still tour. Seems like their audience agrees with that as shows are sold out, and as Keith has said so many times, as long as people want to see them play and as long as they still can, they'll be doing it. What else are they going to do? 

Here's Maurice, hanging out with me on the back porch. 

And here's her doppelgänger in the yard over behind the church.

That one's tail is longer and thicker but besides that, they could be twins. They could well be related. I've noted one of the cats who lives at the dump looks a lot like both of them. 

And so it goes. Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are mothers and to all of you who have taken care of and loved children, whether you are aunts or uncles or siblings or teachers who have made a profound and positive difference in a child's life. 
You know who you are. 

I thank you. 

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. Dear Mary.. I too used to catastro-phize so much- I’d stay up half the night unable to sleep, and it was all such irrational stuff! Until I went on anti-anxiety meds… I tried to quit them when I felt better, but it didn’t work.. it’s just due to some bad wiring in my brain I guess.? I still fret over things, but it’s not so bad now. Anyway- your Mr. Moon is so kind to care for your homeless friend! And I wish you the loveliest Mother’s Day- I think every day is Mother’s Day, and it’s ok if I don’t see both of my kids on that exact day! Sending hugs!🤗 xo, Rigmor

  2. I absolutely applaud your platter idea. I’m going to make myself a goddamn angel food cake and eat it with my hands maybe naked because it’s been hot and I’m alone. Catastrophizing resumes Monday. XXOOXXOO Rebecca

  3. Happy Mother's Day to you, Mary! Enjoy whatever the kids bring with them! You "think" your kids love you? Jesus, woman ... I can't believe you actually question that!

  4. Good idea to do platters instead of a lot of work. You're supposed to be waited in! Tomorrow Handsome Son is working, and another friend and I are invited to go visit a local sick friend, so tonight I plan to make a card for her, the invitation being last minute. I think it's because she doesn't know day to day how she's doing.

  5. Wishing you a happy Mother's Day. Your platters sound excellent and will provide lots of choices. Bountiful platters always work well. Finding a solution for your homeless friend is a big challenge, especially if he is not inclined to leave the trailer... Even with a tree toppled on it.

  6. Damn! That SOB is going to live forever.

  7. Those Stones fellows have some good genes there.
    I want to bury my face in Maurice's fur but then I might not have a face.
    Happy Mother's Day to you, too, dear Mary.

  8. San Geraldo has a catastrophic imagination. It can be very entertaining when it’s not causing him an anxiety attack.

    That last paragraph brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for that.

  9. I can tell you that NOT having such a voice in your head makes for a very peaceful existence. I stress about things occasionally, but there's always a good reason and it's almost never.
    I hope Mr Moon manages to talk Tom into something at least that will shelter better than a broken trailer. Or perhaps he could help Tom fix the trailer?

  10. my sister was like that. if she didn't have something going on in her life to stress out about, and practically everything about daily living stressed her out, she would create scenarios...what if this and what if stress over. I would tell her to stop making stuff up in your head.

    Happy Mother's Day Mary. Nothing will be happening here which suits me fine.

  11. Happy Mother's day Mary.

    I'm guessing Mick doesn't have any arthritis in his knees. He's a lucky man.

  12. I just saw the Stones last Thursday at JazzFest! We couldn't get very close because it was outdoors at the fairgrounds but Mick was amazing. His voice was strong as ever :)


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