Another Wandering On A Birthday Eve

 

Last night Lily called and we chatted and she asked if maybe I wanted to hang out some today. Jason has taken the kids to California so she's been at loose ends when she isn't at work. I told her I'd think about it and after I hung the laundry around noon, I texted to see if she wanted to go to lunch and she did so we met up at the local farm-to-table joint which I have mixed feelings about but mostly you can get a decent meal there. They are a little pretentious, though, if you ask me. One of the items on today's special menu was something that had three words in the description that we had to google to figure out what in hell they were. Mostly sauces. And it's not like we aren't relatively educated in the culinary milieu.

She ended up getting a chicken sandwich and I got a salad with a crab cake on it. It was good, most likely because it was one of those salads that you might as well just get a hamburger instead of because of all of the crispy and crunchy things in it that make it so tasty.

Anyway, the food is never the point for ladies who lunch. I had such a good time talking to Lily, just as I had a good time talking to Hank, yesterday. My kids are all so different and I love them all so much and deeply appreciate those differences. That's what makes our family such an interesting group of people, I think. I know it's a cliche but every child in a family IS different. Hank was talking yesterday about how sometimes when a friend of his is talking about how shitty their family is, he doesn't even want to talk about our family because it would be too braggy. How we support each other, always, how much we make each other laugh, how we're there for each other. 
Etc. 

And now I'm bragging, obviously, but it's my birthday tomorrow and if I want to give myself the gift of being openly proud of my babies, then I will do that. 

And so I have. 

I have never been anything near a perfect mother but every bit of mothering energy I had was directed towards letting my children know I love them. And now my grandmothering energy. There are a million ways to do that and I'm sure I could have done more but I think they all know that my heart was made for them. 

I'm being terribly soppy and saccharin, aren't I? Oh, who cares?

After Lily and I parted after lunch, I decided what the hell? I've really been obsessed with this purse thing. I'm like a junkie when I start craving a new purse. I guess it's that hit of serotonin I get when I find one and buy it. So I went to Marshall's which is very much like TJ Maxx, and perused their bags. I've gotten some lovely purses there. I went through all of them rather quickly and didn't see a damn thing I wanted or even anything close to what I wanted and then, BAM! I saw this tucked in the back behind some other bags that my eyes had originally just skipped over. 

Not the exact one I had hoped to find, but the same brand and pretty close. Backpack, plenty of nice pockets, leather, soft, large but not too big. I examined it to see if there was any obvious reason it was on clearance but it seemed fine to me so I went up front and got someone to unlock it for me. Do y'all's stores do that? Lock purses up with thin wires that stretch and retract? What a pain in the ass. 

And I bought it. Although it isn't the absolute perfect purse, what is? Also, it cost less than I paid for lunch today which was not that much. When I came home I looked it up online and via the company that makes it, it costs almost a hundred dollars more than I paid for it and that's on sale. 

So I'm pleased, and happy birthday to me. 

It took me such a short amount of time to find and buy the purse that I decided to walk down to the Ulta store which, for those of you who do not know, is a cosmetics place. I was looking for some Body Shoppe body butters and I knew they carried a few Body Shoppe products. 

I hadn't been in a place like that in forever. 

As I texted a friend, it was such a feminine space and it smelled SO good and I lasted about three minutes. 

I checked out the body butters and all of them seemed to have a stale smell to them so forget that. But honestly, I did enjoy my tiny bit of time there. 

Mr. Moon texted a few hours ago to tell me he was back on land so he should be here soon. I know he's going to be exhausted. It is so hot and so humid here and I can't imagine what it feels like on the Gulf. I'm sweaty and sticky from just bringing in the laundry. 

So here I am, on the eve of my 69th birthday. 
I did not see this coming. And I am serious about that. I never, ever thought I'd reach this age. 

Yet, here we are. 

And I may not be a Rolling Stone, still up on a stage in skinny jeans dancing like a dervish, and my knees hurt, and my hips hurt, and my hearing's shot, and my brain function is worrisome but I am still fit enough to enjoy my life. I can still garden, I can still walk, I can still drive and I can still love the ones I love. 

And I can still sit down and pour out my feelings here every day and that means more to me than you can imagine. 

We've been watching "Deadwood" for the third, fourth? time. And it is good. The actors are fucking amazing, the scripts are beyond terrific, the sets are perfect, the storylines are fascinating. Every time we watch the series, I am struck once again by how this show, and this show alone, makes me wish I was still acting. My short time doing that was absolutely joyful and I know I could not do it now. I could not possibly memorize a script. I just couldn't. I wasn't that good at it in my late forties, early fifties to tell you the truth. 
So. I guess that's one thing I can't do anymore but you know what? I did it when I could and I'm so glad I did. 

I don't have that many regrets and the ones I do have are not that big. 

See you tomorrow.

Love...Ms. Moon