I just got back from the grocery store having spent approximately nine thousand dollars and that was just the preliminary Thanksgiving shopping.
This is how I do it:
On Monday before Thanksgiving I go without a list. I just browse the aisles and get a few things I know I'll need including sweet potatoes, oranges, cranberries, baking chocolate, crackers, cheese, olives, pickles, white potatoes, cream cheese, sour cream, pecans, brown sugar, the pasta I'll be cooking for the night-before-Thanksgiving celebration, apple cider, butter, marshmallows, etc.
Oh yes, also the turkey.
And Easy Off oven cleaner which is a fucking misnomer if I ever heard one.
I was sort of reeling and feeling like oh god, why do I have to do this again when I passed a little old lady with a green corduroy coat on who also had a shopping cart full of the ingredients for a real, home-made Thanksgiving dinner. She could barely see over her cart and was going at about a one-mile-a-day speed down the aisle and I immediately shut up the whining in my head.
Hell, if she can do it, I can do it.
I suddenly felt about twenty years younger and a whole lot stronger than I had before.
I was telling my daughter Lily about this as she was helping me load the car with my groceries (Lily is the beautiful smiling girl behind the counter at my local Publix) and she told me that she'd seen two people who were SO old and SO fragile that it had taken BOTH of them to lift the turkey into their cart. Together.
Can you imagine that? Can't you just see it? Doesn't that just make you want to cry?
What can I say but Bless Their Hearts and that I need to do what I told the Pope to do and shut the fuck up and go make make my cranberry relish.
And a real grocery list. Because you know I didn't get nearly everything I'll need before this feasting is over.
But honestly, I do hope that by the time I'm so old that it takes both me and Mr. Moon to hoist a turkey into the cart, Lily or one of the other kids will be cooking the Thanksgiving dinner and I can show up with a jello salad and a six pack, find a place to sit and wait for dinner to be served.
This is the difference between you and I: You make a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, while I make a reservation. Saves me so much stress and aggravation, especially since I don't cook.
ReplyDeleteYay Thanksgiving! You know, I can not make a feast, but you sure did raise me to be a host. I'm just glad that I did not get your anxiety about it, instead learning to simply say, "well, let's have a shot and call for pizza if no one brought enough potato salad and the burgers burnt up". Either way, though, we are both expected by our respecteds to put on an event at certain times. So put on some music, and I'll see you Wednesday night!
ReplyDeleteHah, I promise, you won't be that old and still cooking our thanksgiving dinner, I'll see to that (and don't worry, this does not mean that I'm somehow going to make sure you are dead). I'm just thankful that all us kids can still get together with our folks that raised us up so right. It's one of my favorite days of the year. Do I get to play bartender again?
ReplyDeleteRachel- well, you're smart.
ReplyDeleteDTG- You are the host! I am just a cook.
HL- of course you can bartend!
You can put out a tip jar.
Jess is the best bartender.
ReplyDeleteI just love the idea of the Ms Moon Thanksgiving celebration! I wish that drinking mixed drinks could by part of my family's celebration!!
ReplyDeleteHave a warm and cozy day with your children, and your dogs, and of course Mr Moon!
Damn, but I remember the last time I sat at the "Moon's Turkey and Everythng Extravaganza," thinking, there was a very real possibiltiy of passing out at the dinner table before it was all done. It started with fresh oysters and beer in the driveway the day before, and ended with "turkey soup to die in" the next day. Ms. Moon, your feast is the best. Don't ever stop, just get help.
ReplyDeleteOh, Lady Lemon, the bartender mostly hands out beer. And sodas. I'm not sure she knows how to mix a martini yet, but I think this may be the year she learns. And it will be a nice time. I have such a wonderful family it can hardly help but be terrific.
ReplyDeleteB.Boy- the soup is ALWAYS the best. And the kids will help. They all have their own casserole to make. Now if I only had another oven....
Ms. Moon, we are indeed in a play together. Jack called a few hours ago, and it looks like it's going to be a lot of fun on this one.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that Thanksgiving at your house is quite the shin-dig! Sounds delicious.
ReplyDeleteJello salad and a six-pack are pretty much all I contribute to the event at this point. Well, minus the jello salad.
:)
Sounds like you are going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And you painted a pretty sweet picture. I sure hope Mrs. Shife and I can do the same thing with the turkey. Granted we will probably be doing it in May because we are out of our minds and think it is already turkey day. Have a great holiday with your family and friends.
ReplyDeletewe now have a really great cranberry relish recipe, BUT I still love the old one: open can, turn upside down and wait for it...Slooouuuuppphhh,
ReplyDeleteVoila!
Oh, and I had a change of heart about the Palin joke, Baby Mama says I should be nicer in public.
E-mail it to me Magnum.I want to hear it.
ReplyDeleteI've been to the store twice already and I just realized that I need more stuff. And yeah, I don't want to go. Because not only am I completely lazy, but I'm also with squrimy kidlets.
ReplyDelete*sighs*
I'm usually more organized, I swear!
I just gave away our turkey to a family of 10 and we're going to Progreso (the beach here) for seafood. It was just too disgusting to try to make a traditional Thanksgiving in Mexico! Especially for the TWO OF US! So Feliz Dia de Dar Gracias to a deserving Yucatecan family! :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Lopo! For the turkey donation but especially for going to Progreso for Thanksgiving. That sounds lovely. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteAunt Becky- I, too, have been to the store twice now but I still need more stuff. But I don't have squirmy kidlings, and I do have a grown-up girl who is more help than anyone could know.
Just wait- someday you, too, will have grown-up kids. Hard to imagine, I know, but it will happen. So cherish the kidlings while you have them.