Saturday, April 27, 2024

Letting Go And Moving On


So who remembers this? My Lord. I made that little duck for Owen when he was a very young thing. It was sort of supposed to be a baby chick but the feet rather betray the true species of the little creature, don't they? He's the softest thing, made from an old cashmere sweater that had shrunken into baby size. Jessie found it today when she was cleaning and packing one of the kids' rooms in the move. None of the kids were very invested in it and so she was going to keep it but then she told me that I should keep it with my dolls and so I shall. 
Little Quackie. 

Yes. Today is the day. And this move is not going to go easily or quickly. They are spending the night in the new house tonight and the beds are either moved or are being moved. This is not easy at all for either Lily or Lauren or the kids. Lily and Lauren are excited to have a new house but the whole process of finding the house and getting it ready to move into and now making the actual move has been and is just ridiculously difficult. And the kids? Well, their rooms in the new house are not quite as big as the ones they have now and for the most part, the house where they've been living is the only one they've ever known. Owen may remember the duplex that they lived in when he was born but I doubt that Gibson does because he was so young when they moved and Maggie was literally born in that house. 

Of course it's always this way when a family moves. Even if it's a good thing, there are going to be negative aspects of changing locations and it's just so damn hard, packing up a life, deciding what to take and what to let go. It's emotional as hell. 

I was there for about three hours this afternoon and in all that time, I only cleaned out and dealt with two large bookcases. There are now many, many books in my car and in Jessie's to donate. I saved back a few children's books and stopped on my way home to put most of them in the little free library down the street. 

My husband got home about 12:30 last night. He hadn't been kidding about me not waiting up for him. So he'd worked 18 hours. This morning, he and Vergil met up at the new house and finished up what Glen's been working on and then, amazingly, he came home. As his daddy used to say, he'd done all he was big enough to do. 
I am so glad he knew when it was time to stop although honestly, it was probably time for him to stop about last Tuesday. 

Oh well. He is alive and sitting in his chair and finally resting. 
I felt guilty leaving Vergil and Jessie and Lily and Lauren to come home myself but I am playing the old lady card. Owen is helping a lot and Gibson is helping too. August is being as helpful as he can be and Levon and Maggie are mostly staying out of the way although the temptation to play with forgotten and rediscovered toys is huge. 

Being a part of this has given me even more impetus to get rid of things myself. I was telling Mr. Moon the other day that we really need to clean off the refrigerator. I have pictures hanging on it that Owen made me before he could really write his name. 
He is fourteen now. 
I have a TELEPHONE LIST on it. Written in beautiful cursive which I used to be good at. 


And of course, that is just one tiny area of my kitchen, my house, my life that I need to declutter. 

Change is hard. Always. But we manage, usually, to push on through and we survive. Lily will too. She is so much stronger than she realizes. 

Love...Ms. Moon


27 comments:

  1. Your refrigerator looks like the repository of home grown. It will be interesting to see how you sort it.

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    1. I should probably blindfold myself and then just remove each and every thing that my fingers find and throw it all away.

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  2. It is always hard for children to move. In this case it is leaving so much stuff behind as well. A different life. Memories.
    I am sure it won't be long before they are busy making new memories and they will always have you as a constant.
    After clearing out my parents' house and my inlaws' house I have sworn never to hang to anything unless I love it or genuinely need it. And I think twice before buying stuff. Unless it's yarn.

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    1. I think you have it absolutely- leaving a house for a child is so often an entire life left behind. It is hard. Hopefully, they will begin to make new friends in their new house and all will be well.
      I am so with you on the cleaning out of a house thing.

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  3. That feeling of too much stuff! And the pressure from other people wanting you to keep everything the same forever. Push me pull you.

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    1. I know. I always laugh at people who keep every picture, paper, and thing their children made in school or at home but here I am with a virtual museum of Owen, Gibson, August, Maggie, and Levon. And each thing that I have hanging on a wall or the refrigerator is something I do love. Okay, not everything. But most.

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    2. Take it all and paste it in a scrapbook to keep on a shelf.

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  4. I hope when all is said and done that this move is a good thing for Lily and her family. Wishing you and Mr. Moon a sweet night.

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    1. I think it will be, e. And at this point, it had to be done.

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  5. I do hope by now things are at least beginning to settle into place at the new house. Whenever we moved, we always unpacked the coffee making things first and then got the beds made up so there'd be somewhere to crash when we got tired of opening boxes..

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    1. Priorities! And those are exactly mine, too. In fact, that's what I told Lily yesterday- all they REALLY for that day was to take beds, bathroom things, a few articles of clothing, and stuff to make coffee and breakfast. The rest would wait.

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  6. I can be borderline OCD and messy refrigerators make me absolutely nuts. At friends’ homes (and my mother’s), I used to rearrange the magnets and what they were holding so that they had some kind of aesthetic (in my mind). But I would have preferred to remove them completely every time. I hope the stress passes and the joy of their very own new home takes over.

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    1. Oh dear. Mitchell, my house would send you howling. Could you please come and clean off my refrigerator? I can do the inside cleaning and taking care of but it's the outside that is beyond my ability to control.

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  7. My fridge and the freezer below are totally covered in fridge magnets from all over the world. Luckily friends and family have taken on board that I can't fit any more on!!
    The last time we moved house was with a 10 month old baby , who is now 46....on the day, a neighbour who I had never met ,offered to take the baby while we got a bit sorted......I just handed him over!!

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    1. Frances! That's so great! You must have been completely at wit's end to just hand your baby over! Well, at least you knew where the neighbor lived. What a sweet gift she (?) offered.

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  8. That's how we learn how strong we are...by doing hard things. Good luck to Lily and Lauren. I am sure that you all will help to begin filling that little house with good memories. New memories. Sweet memories.

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    1. I swear, every time I do something really hard I think, "How did I do that?" and then I think, "I don't want to ever do that again."
      I am such a wimp.
      I so hope the family is happy in their new home.

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  9. Moving is hard but at least they are not moving to another state or city, that will help. Lily, Lauren and family are lucky to have such a loving, supportive family who have gathered around them right now, this is not always the case with families and has never been my experience.

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    1. We do try to come together to help each other. I love my family so much.

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  10. It will be fun for the kids to set up their rooms and make them their own. They are old enough to get it the way they want so it will feel "cool" to them. Wishing them all the best in their new home.

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    1. Gibson is not happy because his new room is about a third the size of his old room but his old room is actually a loving room that's never had a door so we're hoping that he'll adjust.

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  11. I actually love moving. I have always loved it, though I never did it as a child. It's fun to reconnect with all our stuff and winnow down what we no longer want or need. Having said that, though, I hope we don't have to move any time soon!

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    1. STEVE! You are so funny! I never met anyone to claimed to love moving. But I understand. I have been very happy to move a few times in my life, even though I did not enjoy the process.

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  12. the best part of moving I think is the unpacking and setting up the new house, starting fresh. we moved from the house I was born to (not in) when I was about 8. I was unhappy about leaving my friends on the block but I got my own room having previously shared a room with my older sister.

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    1. The first time I got my own room did not turn out well for me. I'll just say that a stepfather was involved.
      We moved to a different town when I was about twelve and boy, was that hard. Even though it wasn't a big town, we'd been living in Roseland for most of my life and that was a villiage, if even that. There were more kids in my grade in the school in Winter Haven than in all the grades together at the school I'd gone to before.

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  13. Moving is lots of work. Having lots of help is the ideal and you and Mr. Moon have raised a wonderful family of helpers. The new house and garden with the outstanding tree to one side looks terrific; lots of new memories will be made.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.