The sun came out today and we did eat noodles and I bought Gibson his first pair of shoes. Brown leather sandals for his fat little feet and he is amused by them.
It was an up-and-down day. First the gray and rain and then Owen's happiness when he saw me and Gibson's kisses and his conversational skills which are growing by leaps and bounds. He does not actually use the words we do but his pitch and his tone and his timing are perfect.
And other things happened which I probably shouldn't even talk about here but they involve things like being Mother's executor and also attorneys and blah, blah, blah. All of it meaning nothing really except that lines of communication have broken down and it breaks my heart.
You always HEAR about shit like this happening and then, when it does...well. It's hard. It strikes the heart with a ringing, hollow thud.
But, we go on. We cook our black-eyed peas and our squash, we cut up tomatoes and tear our lettuces. We water porch plants and clean out the henhouse and sweep the floor and we go on.
My hips ache, my heart aches but what is there for it but to keep on moving, to deliberately walk beside and with the pain, to keep on loving, to deliberately and compassionately be aware of the pain of others and to act as much as is humanly possible from that place?
And having said that, let me remind you that I am no saint nor even close to being and am as vastly imperfect as anyone on this earth.
But still, I can love and I do and there is no doubt in my mind at all about that.