Thursday, May 22, 2008
Not So Much A Long, Strange Trip As Just A Cozy Little Journey With Interesting Scenery. So Far
While perusing historical Florida photographs from the online archive a while back, I came across this picture. I have no idea who these people are, but it was such a charming picture that I saved it for future use and today is the perfect day to break it out because it was one year ago today that I started up this blessourhearts blog. My son urged me to do it, and I finally sat down and wrote a piece about the weather, which is the human default thing to talk about since it affects us all in one way or another and it's almost always changing. And it's what I was thinking about that day, one year ago.
Since then, on that cool May day when we were in the middle of a terrible drought, I've written 180 more posts. I've talked about menopause, aging, hippies, childbirth, cooking, politics, religion, yoga, travel, depression, sexual abuse, writing, gardening, love, trees, marriage, friends, music, birds, my community, my home, my family, and women who pee on public toilets.
I've talked about birth and midwives and how much I hate this president and how I fear for my country. I've discussed religion and told about how my daddy was a drunk. I've written about asses and falling on my own. I've admitted I'm a terrible daughter and I've bragged about my kids to an absurd degree.
I've gone on and on about the empty nest only to turn around and announce that the nest has refilled.
I've probably talked about death too much.
And the weather has been discussed more than once.
In short, I've written about whatever it is that I'm thinking at the moment. It's one of the most self-indulgent things I've probably ever done.
And I can't tell you how much I've loved it.
Sometimes- not every time by any means- but sometimes, when I write something and I say exactly and utterly what I wanted to say, I feel as if I am doing exactly what I was put here to do and it's so mysterious and wonderful that I can hardly believe it. Which is reason enough for me to keep doing this.
But, just like the Ginsu knife offer on those old infomercials- there is so much more.
There's the community of bloggers who read each others' words and leave comments. Comments make me feel like my heart is being polished, like my baby's soft butt is being patted. And reading what other people are thinking about, doing, feeling- it's being part of a community. I am getting to know people I would never had had the opportunity to meet.
People have reached out to me when I needed it the most. People have given me support and made me laugh. When I have virtually asked, "Have you ever felt like this?" I have received the knowledge that yes, they have.
I am not alone.
One of the things that I have cherished the most about this blog is the way I was able to talk about my friend Lynn who died in January. As her disease spread its black wings over her and took more and more of the light from her being, I was able to say, "Look! This woman danced! This woman's life was important! This woman mattered!" And because I wrote about her, people who never would have known her, got a little picture of who she was. And also, because I wrote about her last months, I am able to go back and remember more clearly the last time she kissed me, the last time she smiled at me. The last time she knew who I was. That alone is such a gift that I can't begin to assess its value.
It's been a year for me. A year of firsts and lasts. A year of staying home and traveling afar. A year of drought and rain and growth and the worry of stagnation. A year of fear and wonder, a year of hope and desire. A year of discovery and rediscovery. A year of weddings and wakes. A year of profound changes for my children.
Yes, it's been a year and I feel like on some level it is my birthday because blessourhearts is me. And I am blessourhearts. It has grown, for me, from being a place where I merely write about my life and what I'm thinking as I live it, to being a profound part of that life and I am quite curious to see what I'll write about next. I never know. There's really no map here.There's just me, on this journey, sending out trip reports.
See that picture? Although some days I feel as old as those two precious people, most days I feel like there's plenty of cake to go around. If I really stop and think about it, I do.
And this blog is surely, for me anyway, part of that sweet, sweet cake.
So happy birthday, blog.
And oh yeah- bless our hearts.