Monday, May 12, 2008

I'm Turning Into Billy


So it's the day after Mother's Day and I, of course, am consumed by guilt for many reasons, some of them being having an actual basis in reality, but none of them having to do with the fact that I ate bacon this weekend because I didn't but maybe I should have.
Have you seen this website?
Wow. Really, who wouldn't love a salad served in a bowl made of bacon? Why didn't I think of that? is what I say.

I did eat some pork though. Actually, come to think of it, I believe I may have eaten pork three times this weekend, which is an awful lot for someone who claims to eat mostly plants. It was a pork-filled weekend, as so many of them here in the Deep South are. Friday night I helped out at the Monticello Opera House, taking tickets for a dinner theater and they generously served me a meal and it had pork in it. Indeed it did. I think it was in the form of a paella, although it just seemed like yellow rice with various meat products on it to me. It was delicious, though. And then on Saturday night, we went to Roland's welcome home party and there was every sort of grilled pork imaginable. I only ate a small piece that someone gave me off his very own fingers but it was mighty good.

The party was good too, although overwhelming for me, the country-mouse-who-never-sticks-her-twitchy-little-nose-out-of-the-doorway. Roland looked and seemed terrific and I was glad to have gone just to see what a real Marine looks like. Hot, I think is the word I am searching for here and if that's inappropriate, so be it. He gave a little speech to the many, many people who were there, thanking them for our gatherings and the sending of good energy his way while he was in Iraq. He claims that it must have worked because every one in his company came home whole and uninjured. I don't know if I believe that's the reason, but I'm grateful they all did.

So back to the pork.

On Sunday I cooked waffles and venison sausage for me and the man but that venison sausage is made of both venison and pork and I know it. I ate it anyway and it was damn good.
The Mother's Day feast of sushi and strawberry shortcake had no pork in it but it was great anyway. I suggested we make bacon and tomato sushi but I pretended I was kidding after I said it.

It was more than lovely to have the kids here on a Sunday afternoon, hanging out and cooking rice and rollin' our own sushi. We did the garden tour and then we went over and checked out the goats and chickens next door. The kids were suitably impressed by the garden and who doesn't love a baby goat when it's all curled up in a food bowl? So that was fun. They also admired the hole we've dug in the backyard where we're putting the pond. The man worked hard all weekend on that project and I can't imagine how nice it's going to be when it's done with the sound of water trickling through the bamboo spouts he's making. From our own bamboo, of course. And it will give me the excuse to plant more ferns which always makes me happy.

The kids gave me some great gifts for Mother's Day, although I wish they hadn't. Receiving gifts always makes me feel...undeserving? Something weird. But I'll put that salad spinner (which I actually asked for) to good use with garden greens and I'll eat the chocolate and I love the flowers and the cards and what they wrote in them made me cry. They gave me money to get a massage and a gift certificate to get my hair cut and I'll certainly put those to good use too.
So it was a lovely Mother's Day and couldn't have been more perfect if we'd had bacon-wrapped ham instead of sushi and OH! I almost forgot my favorite present:
THE MONKEY PEELER!

My kids know me so well.

11 comments:

  1. MONKEY PEELER!
    MONKEY PEELER!
    MONKEY PEELER!

    Why are monkey products so much fun?

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  2. Because they remind us of our more-cheerful and flexible cousins, the monkeys.
    Uh-huh, gotta love a monkey product.

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  3. What does one do with a monkey peeler? Peel monkeys? Are there that many wild monkeys running around your neighborhood that you catch them, then have to worry about peeling them?

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  4. No, usually we eat our monkeys fried in their own skin but occasionally, when we're watching our weight (the fat is all in the skin, you know) we peel them, marinate them in a nice soy/ginger/lime thing and grill them.
    They're not easy to peel though, which is why you need a
    MONKEY PEELER!!!!
    As my grandpa always said, "You need the right tool for the job."

    No, seriously, Ms. MOB, a monkey peeler can be used to peel all your finer fruits and vegetables. I haven't tried it yet because I really hate taking that tag off. But I will.
    And I have to tell you that your comment really did make me laugh out loud. Not LOL, which is stupid, but actually laugh out loud.
    Thank you for that.

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  5. Now I have to google MONKEY PEELER, I can see that!! :) Probably have to order one. too! ;)

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  6. Wait! Don't leave this one until you tell me what this has to do with Billy??? ;)

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  7. Um ....I hate to get off subject, because that was a fine Moonie post, but, that link had a bacon bra on it. I couldn't help but think the picture had three of my favorite things in it.
    Now back to you.....
    w.b.

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  8. Ha! So funny. It went from bacon bras to bacon ice-cream.

    Alright, with all the talk, I am going to google MONKEY PEELER too. :)

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  9. Ms. Lopo- Target (that very fine store which I love with all of my hypocritical little heart) carries the Monkey Peeler. I'm sure I could pick one up and get it to you. And that would be my pleasure.
    And I should have explained the Billy reference. Billy is the friend I talked about in the post on April 24th. He loves bacon. And don't we all?

    And Mr. Wrecking Ball- I thought you fellas might enjoy that one. And really, who in this world can't find some pleasure in the idea of bacon wrapped breasts? Just please...not too much pleasure.

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  10. All I can say is I heartily approve of all thinks monkey, except perhaps peeled monkeys or monkey bacon. Although monkey ice cream is awfully tasty if it's chunky monkey.

    I actually had nothing real to say, but I did enjoy your post :D

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  11. This was not one of my deeper posts, was it? Ah well, they can't all be.
    And Thank God, I believe we could all say to that.

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