Friday, December 30, 2022

Rivers, Both Real And Allegorical

Slow gray day here. My man got up early to go fishing out on the Wacissa River with friends long before I got up. They were on the river for hours and he reports that it was beyond beautiful. Herons both great and small, blue and white. Turtles sunning themselves. Water so clear you could see the fish. And of course, the trees. He said he saw a few little cabins today, tucked up beside the water and that he would do whatever it took to buy one of those. 
I have always imagined that too. It's still wild back in there, Florida the way it was, with bears and probably wildcats, deer and foxes, alligators, and every sort of varmint that the Baxters in Marjorie Kinnan Rawling's classic, The Yearling, would have recognized. And that water. And those birds. Not just the water birds but everything from mockingbirds to the pileated woodpeckers, so large and showy that they are startling when they show up, second only to the Great Lord Bird itself- the Ivory Billed Woodpecker which has not been definitely identified in so many years that many call it extinct although others spend their lives searching for it, absolutely certain that there are some still around, possibly in Louisiana. 
As far as we know, houses and land never come up for sale on the Wacissa. But it is something we could look into. 

Mr. Moon brought back a mess of little fishes for me to fry. As much as we love the fish he catches in the Gulf- the snapper and grouper- I think that the sweet fresh water fish may be our true love. They are small and must be cooked whole and yes, there are bones but if you know how to lift them out as a piece, that is not much of a problem. Their flesh is white and as tender as anything you can imagine. 

So he had a good day and I've had a blah day. I did laundry, I took the trash, I went to the post office where I discovered that Gibson's Christmas present has arrived. I also got the front cover of one of my New Yorker magazines. 
The front cover. And that is all. 
I asked the lady behind the counter when she gave me my package, "What's the deal with this?"
"I have no idea," she said and offered no further explanation except that perhaps it had gotten caught in a machine. 

Our newish next-door neighbors who have been excellent neighbors so far, have spent the last several days clearing bamboo and brush between our houses. This would be fine except that we no longer have any sense of privacy at all. When we moved into the house it was all overgrown between this house and that and no one has really done much to change that. Besides the bamboo there are trash trees and vines and I've always just considered it a nice barrier, a place for birds and critters to live in. But these people seem to like an orderly arrangement of things and now we can see directly into their yard and I am sure they can see directly into ours. This would not be so terrible except that our bedroom is on that end of the house as is my bathroom. I've had curtains and blinds up in the bathroom forever because the wall that faces their house is entirely window and the wall facing the street also has two big windows in it. I've had a lace curtain up in our bedroom but today I realized that it is no longer sufficient for even the merest attempt at privacy. 


Yes. That curtain is held up with thumbtacks. I am terrible at curtain hardware and although Mr. Moon would gladly put up real curtain rods, I just don't want to deal with it but I suppose I'll have to now. What I did in the meantime was to untack that curtain, wash it because it needed it desperately, and then hem up a piece of barkcloth that Linda Sue sent me to make cover the part of the window that will need covering. 


I'll tie it up in the daytime so that Dorothy Anne and Emily and Zippy and all of the other sweet dollies won't die of lack of sunshine and I won't be depressed every time I walk through the bedroom. 
Mr. Moon said that he could build us a privacy fence and I know he can because the first thing he ever did when he moved in with me was to build a huge, sturdy wooden fence around my backyard which I still tease him about. I don't think one needs to call on Dr. Freud to suss out the meaning of a very tall fence built around me. 
So yes, he can and will build a fence if that is called for but it also occurred to us that perhaps our neighbors are clearing in order to build their own privacy fence in which case- Whoo-Hoo! We won't have to! So we shall wait to see what happens and meanwhile, I do love that barkcloth. 
Thank you, Linda Sue. 

And the rest of the day has just been a little mending of that, a little picking of this. My garden looks like hell, everything wilted from the freezes except for the garlic and the collards. I think the mustard greens will pull through. I am not sure about the rest of the greens. It's supposed to rain tomorrow and perhaps things will perk up. My artichoke plants which were looking quite impressive to me, have absolutely simply disappeared. 
Gone. 
So much for that experiment. 

A friend of ours is in hospice care in Tallahassee right now. He actually grew up in Winter Haven, the same town I lived in from sixth grade through high school. I did not know him then but knew of him and his brother who was in my grade. I got to know both of the men when I was married to my first husband who had been a friend of theirs so I have known this man for a very long time. In one of those synchronistic things, Mr. Moon has become friends with him and has been for quite awhile. He and our friend Tom have been friends for a very long time and in fact, Tom, and Mr. Moon, and this friend went to a basketball game together less than two weeks ago. He has suffered many, many health problems for years now and a few days ago he had two strokes. I do not think he is responsive so they are just trying to keep him comfortable and at peace. His wife is tending him, and I am sure his daughters are with him. 
He went to Viet Nam, this man, and was exposed to Agent Orange and I have to believe that that is a factor in all of the illnesses he has had. I have deep feelings about him, and when I try to talk about him, I choke up. 
It's complex. It's complicated. 
But at the very heart of it all, there is a place in my heart where he has had a space for so many years and although he always will, there is an understandable disturbance in my psyche. And perhaps this is why I have been feeling a quiet within myself. I feel a waiting

And this too is part of life as we reach the outer ends of it. Each person we lose reminds us not only of our own mortality but also of how different people have played their own roles in our lives as we have played roles in theirs. As I realized when my friend Sue died, there are parts of us we share only with certain people and no one else and when those people are gone, it is as if that part of us may be gone as well. 
I know it's not. Not really. But in another way, it truly is. 

Sorry. I'm not very cheerful tonight. But it's Friday and the man has made us a martini and our bed has clean sheets and with the new sort-of curtain in our room, it will be all the more cozy. I am going to fry those fish and I think I might make tomato gravy for the first time in my life to eat on the grits I'm going to cook. 

And so I can still say to you- Happy Friday. The last Friday of 2022. 
It's all a whirlwind, isn't it? 

Love...Ms. Moon






37 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear about your dear friend in Hospice. The term you used *a waiting* is so appropriate. I will tuck him and his family (and you) into my heart in that special place. Love the bark cloth addition to your bedroom curtain.....that would do the trick, for now! Enjoy that Martini...... and may tomorrow not be quite as gray
    Susan M

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  2. Though they have been good neighbours so far, the clearing of the barrier undergrowth is worrisome. I wonder if they stopped to think about how the Moons might view this clearance and the desirability of privacy. Sorry to hear about what the Vietnam veteran is going through. Agent Orange was a very nasty invention - still affecting the citizens of Laos.

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    1. I am honestly thinking they might be planning on building a fence. It seems like the sort of thing they might want to do.
      Agent Orange. A wicked, wicked thing.

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  3. I love your descriptions of your surroundings and Lloyd. It does remind me of "Cross Creek". I visited there many years ago and had just read the book, so was very moved by the experience. Do you live close to Cross Creek? I think I'll read the book again.

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    1. I live about 150 miles from Cross Creek so not too close but drivable. I've been there several times and love it so.

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  4. I love the bark cloth overlay a la Miss Linda Sue. No one on the outside could "suss out" any activity on the inside. So I vote for keeping it until your new neighbors reveal themselves. You could casually wonder out loud, within their hearing, when they will be building a privacy fence,

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    1. Or- we could just do as Glen suggested- ask them if they're planning on building a fence. "Oh yeah," I said. He's so smart.

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  5. Oh, Mary. I am sorry for the friend that you might be losing -- for all that he meant to you.

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  6. Such a bittersweet post and so appropriate for this time of the year with the looking back in the past with gentle memories and forward to the future with gentle anticipation of things both good and sad.
    I wish your friend a gentle passing and I wish you and yours a peaceful New Year, dear Mary.

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    1. Thank you, sweet woman. He did pass last night and I hope it was peaceful. I imagine it was.

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  7. It has been a year. So fast. Things can turn on a dime.

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  8. I'm sorry about your friend. It is a tough thing when our contemporaries begin to leave us. It is as if we lose a bit of ourselves, really, because we see the proof of our own mortality looking us square in the face. The only suggestion I can make about the curtains is that if you let Mr. Moon throw up curtain rods, you can pull the curtains open and shut so that the dear dollies do not die of lack of sunshine. That's all I've got.

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    1. Yes. It's true about us losing our friends and loved ones. And they cannot be replaced. They just can't.
      You're right about the curtains. I am considering that. I am also thinking of some sort of blinds.

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  9. We have lots of pileated wood peckers around our house. Last spring we had one that would come along, nattering away, as I walked the dog.
    It's sure hard to say goodbye to folks who share our history, no matter how tenuous.

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    1. You had a pet pileated? How awesome! We have quite a few in this yard too. I always feel blessed when I see one.

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  10. Happy Friday, Mary. Happy New Year, too. xx

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  11. I have never heard of barkcloth but it is pretty and does the job well. I hope the neighbours do build a privacy fence so you don't have to but what if they don't want one? Will you still build one? I would certainly prefer some kind of fence.

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    1. If they don't want one and we put one up on our side of the line, there's not much they can say about it. Just as we can't say anything about them clearing their brush. Some people have very different ideas about tidiness and how they want their yards to look. I'm all for preserving whatever wildlife amenities I can.

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  12. I think you're right about seeing your contemporaries die. It makes you reflect on your own mortality. Yesterday I heard a colleague had died suddenly on Christmas Day and yet I only had lunch with him (and a few others) 10 days ago and he was perfectly fine! And then, while I was cleaning out stuff yesterday evening, I found a picture of my brother and his wife taken up at the Matterhorn on one of their visits to me. It must have been taken about 25 years ago and they looked so young and so happy! Prayers for your friend that his passing is peaceful!

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    1. Thank you. It's funny how we know we're going to die and yet, I think at the same time each of us feels that perhaps we will be the first immortal. Not gonna happen. Time passes so quickly.

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  13. I think your new barkcloth curtain looks fabulous! Yay for Linda Sue and her supply of interesting fabric.

    Sorry to hear about your friend's illness. I think I remember you talking about this guy in the past. It's got to be strange to witness the deaths of people you knew way back when. I haven't dealt with too much of that yet but it's starting to happen!

    I wonder if anyone could even build a cabin along the Wacissa now. I bet the environmental rules would be almost prohibitive. Probably the ones there have been there for many years and were grandfathered in.

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    1. good point Steve! yet.....*they* have built the FDG on an estuary/flood plain............. WTH? Not sure what kind of environmental rules exist there.....but they don't seem to be wise or ecologically sound rules
      Susan M

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    2. Steve- not sure about the possibility of building on the Wacissa. There sure would be a lot of rules to follow. As well there should be! I don't think there's a lot of access to the river as it goes south.
      I have talked about Ross before. He was one of a kind for sure and for certain and he will be sorely missed.

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    3. Susan- the environmental regulations dealing with river front property are far more stringent, I think.

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  14. It is the season of memories and melancholy but we do have lots to be thankful for.
    Happy New Year, Mary Moon! Wishing you and Mr. Moon peace, joy, good health, lots of love, and fun adventures in 2023.

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    1. Thanks, Ellen. I wish the same for you and yours.

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  15. Sorry to hear about the land clearing and the loss of privacy. Your lace curtain is beautiful and I really like the bark cloth but sad that the lace is now hidden. How far apart are your houses? If they aren't planning a fence and Glen does build one I wonder what they'll think about that. The Wicked Bitch of the West came over a couple of years ago to tell us she was putting a fence between us and her vacant lot to keep us from touching her ground I guess and wanted us to help pay for it. Marc told her no and to leave. Still no fence.

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    1. I'm not good at distance estimation but it's not THAT far from our house to theirs. Especially on that end of the house! The way this house rambles puts some rooms much farther away from it.
      I'm glad I don't have a neighbor like yours. For the most part we are all pretty live-and-let-live here.

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  16. Agent Orange has taken quite a number of my friends who knew better than to go but it was either that or the slammer. Rock and hard place.
    The mighty power of barkcloth willed your neighbors to eliminate the foliage so that the cloth would have purpose once again!!! And marry the lace in the window!

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    1. Yeah. People today have no idea how horrible the draft was during the Viet Nam war. Or how horrible the war was, for that matter.
      I do sort of love the barkcloth combined with the lace. It's Irish lace, I think, and the marriage between the two textiles is interesting to say the least.

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  17. 37paddington:
    I know just what you mean about sharing certain parts of ourselves with certain people; they see that aspect of us somehow, and invite it’s expression. It is a kindness really. I feel that way about you actually, as if you see a part of me no one else knows, as if we already knew each other when we found each other here in blogland, it’s hard to explain. And yet I think you understand. I’m so very sorry about your friend.

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    1. Yes. I agree with you so much. It's like we meet people with whom certain parts of us just fit as if they were meant to be. And I feel that with you, as you know.
      Here we are. Thank goodness.

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  18. People have so many different sides to them, we need more than one person to share those sides with. I'm sorry your friend is dying, that's hard.

    I just finished a book by Meghan O'Rourke, The Long Goodbye, A Memoir. It was about the loss of her mother to bowel cancer. It was quite good, considering she was only 32 when her mom died. As we age, we lose so many people and things, not sure if it gets easier, harder or more just more routine.

    Have a happy new year. We spent most of today at Millenium Place with Jack. They have a huge playground set up there during the Christmas break that we only found out about yesterday, complete with boucy house, bouncy slides and bouncy obstacle course. Of course, I had to try it to and I'm a little stiff today. Jack had a blast and he's napping now.

    Sending hugs.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.