Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Ridiculous Technology Bullshit



Oh my word but it's been a day. I mean, no one's been in the ER (that I'm aware of) and it's been a perfectly gorgeous day with the bluest sky and it's not so cold but crisp and clear. 

I went to sleep last night hoping that the update I was doing on my phone would fix the way my new AirPods were acting which was that they did not want to connect to my phone and when they did, only one side worked. Brand new. I figured that if the update didn't do the trick (does an update ever do the trick?) I would be on the phone with Apple tech and that's exactly how it turned out. 

Now from the very first computer we ever got, which was probably the worst computer that Apple ever made- a Performa- I have not been able to handle any problem that has arisen with my beloved magic boxes, as May and I call them. In fact, I feel an anxiety akin to panic when something does not work properly be it a key on the keyboard or an app or well, anything. I do realize this is not logical. Life will go on if my MacBook and/or my phone are being weird and that they can be fixed and if all else fails, replaced. I suppose I have developed sort of an attitude of anthropomorphism towards my technology. 
Long story short- I stress the fuck out. 

So after trying one more time to do a fix on my AirPods recommended by not only Apple on their help site, but also on many other help sites and it didn't work, I began the process of getting tech help. Now Apple is pretty good. You can actually reach a human to talk to you fairly easily. Somehow today though, it took me going through all sorts of crap including resetting my Apple password to get to the point where I could get a call from a technician and a lot of that was user error. I admit that. And that too, drives me crazy. I hate feeling like a typical old person who doesn't know how to do the google. I'd like to say right here that we boomers are a mess in many ways but dammit- we have had to learn technology from the start. We were not born into it and when I successfully paired my new Roomba the other day to my internet and phone, I felt quite pleased with myself. 
Today was not like that though. 

The guy who tried to help me was very patient and kind and spoke English quite well but nothing he tried or suggested made one bit of difference. 
"And now you should see a pop-up with your AirPods on your screen," he would say. 
"And yet, I don't," I would reply. 

This went on for quite awhile. Finally he said he would speak to a supervisor. He was gone for awhile and when he came back he said that all they could do at this point was to tell me to go and exchange the AirPods for new ones. 

Earlier in the conversation, he had offered to make me an appointment at an Apple Store so that one of those genius people could address my problem and was that satisfactory? No, it was not, I told him. The closest Apple store is over a hundred miles away. Why we don't have one in the capital city of the state where there are approximately 42 universities is a mystery to me but we don't. 

So. I packed up the AirPods and got dressed and went to Costco where they were purchased and good Lord but Costco is the best about returning products. Or exchanging products. That was quick and easy. I did a little shopping, saw Brenda who gave me the BEST Brenda hug and another lady I love there and then I went to the library and then I went to Publix and got what I needed there. 

I came home, unloaded the car, and decided to put the new pods on the charger. Also, I could see if they would show up on my phone. 
Except that...where was my phone? I could not find it. Not in my purse, not on the kitchen counter, not in my coat pocket, couldn't find it in the car and that is when I really started to panic. We do still have a landline but that thing hasn't even been plugged in in forever so I had to find a phone cord which is ridiculous because there used to be at least fifty of them around here in various drawers, coiled and tangled like hibernating snakes in a cave. I finally found one and had to move the piano away from the wall to plug the durn thing in. Did that. Called my phone and there was no response in the house. I took it outside to the car and Glory Be and Hallelujah and thank St. Anthony and all the gods, including Steve Jobs, because it was indeed in the car, ringing its little head off in the one place I had not looked. 

Well. A miracle of sorts. I put away the groceries, punched down the sourdough, made a pot of chili and checked to find that yes, these pods were recognized by my phone just as they were supposed to be and connected without any effort on my part and sound comes out of both ears. So all is well that ends well. 

At least for now. 

Mr. Moon is home. The grouper weren't biting but he had a good time and stopped and bought shrimp on the way home. He is safe and sound.

It's only going to get down to 31 degrees here tonight and then it's going to start getting warmer. I am glad of that, especially for Vergil's family who are visiting and were hoping to escape the cold of North Carolina for a few days. It should be nice by Thursday. 

One more thing- the thought occurred to me this morning as I was going through tech hell that at least my floors looked so very good. 
Ralph is a champ! 

Love...Ms. Moon


33 comments:

  1. I'm glad you got that all sorted and can enjoy your evening!

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  2. I have to call my phone with the alexa,("Alexa where is my phone?"),at least twice a day and usually more than that. Normally she is just under a paper or book or some odd place in the house but occasionally I leave her in the car. Three weeks ago I called her and a stranger answered. She was at Trader Joe's. It is normally a good 30 minute drive away but I made it in record time.

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    1. Our phones have our lives on them! I am not saying this is good- I don't think it is. But it is true.

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  3. tech has got us by the short curlies! Power outages will let you know just how vulnerable we all are. IF there is no generator in the back forty. The addiction/necessity is frightening. Country/world is entirely vulnerable- to terrorist attacks on power stations, hackers - it is happening already. Glad you had access to land line, we still have one, I like using it. You have been very patient with the tech deal today, give yourself a star!

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    1. I agree with you- land lines are good things to have in case of...anything. However, today my husband announced that we are changing our internet provider and getting rid of Century Link which is our current provider and why we have a land line. "But, but..." I said. "NO! Doesn't matter. I cannot deal with these people anymore!" They do truly suck.

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  4. Oh the joy of technology. Coupled with call centres who don't know jack shit about where you are living (someone once asked what the post code of Australia was so they could ensure roaming whilst in the outback).
    The power of all things stupid (our government) have deemed that here we no longer have landlines once the almighty National Broadband Network is rolled out in your area. Yes, you can have a phone that looks like a landline but is, in fact, connected to the all powerful internet. Until it goes down. Which happens regularly which then involves a call to the internet provider to reset something so the landline (haha) works. Needless to say, we no longer have a landline.
    I am glad you found your phone and Ralph is performing like a champion.

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    1. I'm not sure we're making progress in replacing all the landlines with cell reception and internet. It's scary as hell to me, as it is to Linda Sue above. Do you ever think that you're glad you won't have to live through the possible horrible outcomes of these decisions? I do.

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  5. You know who calls me most? Me. I am on the landline calling my cell phone.

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  6. I think you could have a flock of robots to fill the chicken void. Ralph is obviously the rooster.

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    1. I don't think that Ralph is as smart as a rooster but he is a determined little fucker.

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  7. Glad Ralph came through for you. And yes, I hear that tech related panic. I'm getting better at it!

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    1. I'm not getting better at it! I think I'm getting worse. The main problem is that my computer/phone/airpods are part of my daily routine and rituals and without them I feel so lost. I do not like this about myself.

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  8. Omg, tech hell. My husband got me replacement air pods as well, because I seem to have lost mine, and when we opened the box darned if the whole charger case wasn’t missing! So much for buying Apple products from third part vendors. He was able return the defective product and plans to go straight to the source next time. Lucky for us there is an Apple Store in town. I’m glad you got everything sorted. I can imagine your panic when you thought you’d lost your phone. This is life now. We’re all plugged in to our little hand held computers and that’s all there is to it.

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    1. Say WHAT? I wish there was an Apple Store here. We do have places that absolutely can repair the products and are certified or whatever but it would feel better to have a real one. And you're right- we are SO plugged into these small "second brains" as I call them. It's wonderful and it's horrible.

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  9. I no longer have a landline which makes finding my phone more difficult. Fortunately I don't often lose it. Glad to hear that Ralph is working so well and that your honey is safely home again.

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    1. I almost NEVER lose mine but it does happen. Jeez.

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  10. tech hell indeed, sounds like. Ugh! glad you seem sync-ed up........ and on board! Rainy dreary day here, which is a blessing for us. I tried to save a hummingbird that tried to commit suicide by flying into our front window this morning. Got out heating pad and tried my best to no avail. Sad. that's my news. Started big pot of soup early......range fed stew meat from the happy cows that live here,,, ....tons of root veggies...and bread......a comfort meal tonight to soothe both of our souls (mine still mired in vertigo)........but we are alive, fed, loved....and upright!
    Susan M

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    1. Good for you for being upright and making sure you're well-fed. Do you know what's causing your vertigo? Is it meniere disease? I have a friend who has that and it's awful. I hope that whatever it is can be resolved.

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  11. I remember the learning part of anything new, when I would get something wrong or it wouldn't work and I'd be texting my genius daughter who always had time to help. She would message me step by step and I would write it down as we went and get things going again. Sometimes I would be at her house and writing things down as she explained and showed me on her screen. That girl has so much patience with me I swear she is part Angel! I've mostly got to the point where I can work things out on my own and if there is a problem with start-up or anything similar doing a "restart" will often fix things. But when it comes to things like airpods I'm completely in the dark. I don't have them and probably never will. I have my old radio, an old mini i-pod with speakers, and playlists on my computer if I want music while I do other things.

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    1. The ability to listen to books and to podcasts has been a glory in my life. I can do that while I work in the garden or in the house and I am so appreciative of this technology.
      Restarts do often work. Not always, though.
      Your granddaughter DOES sound like an angel. Bless her.

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  12. Oh my god, don't we all have those days. I have finally learned to walk away from that kind of problem and then go back to it 24 hours later. Very often it works but who in the world knows why!!!!

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    1. I thought about that yesterday but I just can't make myself walk away. I have to keep at it. I'm not a patient person when it comes to things like that.

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  13. A good, readable blogpost. It was so openly marymoonish as the author struggled with modern technology but through her persistence got there in the end. I loved the reference to "hibernating snakes in a cave". By the way, there are nowhere near as many as 42 colleges in Tallahassee according to The Great God Google - there are in fact just six!

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    1. Just six? Did that include the various "academies" which are actually preschools? Ha! Okay, so yes, it was hyperbole. But six is still a lot!

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  14. All's well that ends well, as you said. I'm glad the second pair of Airpods worked out, and I felt your panic when you couldn't find your phone. I HATE THAT FEELING! I'm actually shocked there's no Apple Store in Tallahassee. I wonder if the University bookstore at FSU has an Apple tech counter or something like that?

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    1. There used to be a certified Apple repair place at FSU. I have no idea if there still is. There's a place I sometimes go to in Tallahassee that does do Apple repairs. They've always helped me. But yeah- wouldn't you think Apple would see fit to put a store here?

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  15. It would help us old foggies if the products we bought weren't already broken! All of a sudden on certain shows on HBOmax we get the sound and subtitles but no picture, just a black screen. Can't fix it. Went on line followed instructions, went on the website, followed instructions and still no fix. Had out daughter come mess with it, she couldn't figure it out either. The one thing we didn't do is delete the app and reinstall it and since Jade is the one that set it up for us in the first place we are at a loss.

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    1. That really sucks. REALLY! Have you been able to get human tech help?

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    2. Haven't tried. Not our account anyway, we piggyback on our daughter's account.

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  16. Glad that the airpod replacements work! My sister and I always wonder what new technology will break us. We call this phenomenon "Dad's VCR" - that was the new thing that my Dad could never figure out how to operate. So we wonder what new gadget will do us in...

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    1. "Dad's VCR." I get it. What a great phrase and what a great story. I am going to adopt it. It's like the technological straw that broke the camel's back.

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