There's the hurricane lily today. I've seen another shoot and soon there will be plenty more.
The firespike by the front gate is finally blooming. I'm proud of those. I rooted every one of them during winters and planted them in spring and now they line the fence in the front of my yard.
Been a lot of sadness in my family today. A friend of Rachel's and of Lily and Lauren's died and no one is sure about the circumstances.
And all three of the little rats that Owen just adopted have died. They must have been sick at the pet store and that's hard for the kids. I'm not equating the death of rats to the death of a person but sadness is sadness, grief is grief. Boppy pointed out that they would have died at the pet store but instead, got to have a few days of glorious luxury and love before they went, and I hope that made the kids feel better.
For me, personally, things have been fine. I decided not to walk today. My ribs were a tiny bit achey and why push it? It's been six weeks exactly since I fell and all of the websites and my doctor, too, agree that six weeks is how long it takes to heal a broken rib and by golly, they're all correct. So I've just been doing lazy things although I did clean out the hen house. Fifteen hens and two roosters sure do poop a lot but I look at that as fertilizer and am grateful for it. There's just not a lot about chickens that I don't admire.
Hank came out for a little visit and it was good to see him. I'm so proud of that man. He's doing his trivia online and doing okay with it. He's also designing flyers as a side hustle. For someone who's self-employed, he's making it work. And Rachel has started her classes for the MSW program at FSU she got into. It's all online now, I think, and that does not make it easier.
Nothing is easy right now and everything is different. I've been quite content to live my life in an even smaller way than I did before but that's not possible for most people and even I desperately miss hugging and holding my loved ones. And of course, as the election draws nearer I become more and more terrified, fearing as so many of us do that the damage already done will be almost impossible to repair and that if that man is elected for four more years, it will be impossible and our country will not be recognizable.
I'm keeping this short today. I have nothing new to say, nothing profound to discuss.
Here we are. We are making our way through uncharted territory the best we can, discovering things about ourselves that we never had the time to ponder, realizing that a great deal of our lives have been spent doing things that really did not make us happy or perhaps, we have been able to define and refine exactly what has made us happy. What does make us happy. What happiness actually means.
Here's a question- what have you discovered about yourself and your life that you never would have known before 2020? I would be interested to know. The positive and the negative.
Meanwhile, let us try to be at peace with all of it.
So sorry about the losses.ReplyDelete
What I've found this year is that my normal life, living alone making art reading blogging etc is for some people a massive and unhappy change. I'm sorry for their misery while not really grasping it. Ths big new learning has been zooming, which has replaced my in-person interest groups.
I appreciate the absence of pressure to be out, about, busy, when nobody could get out and about. Several of my artist and writer friends have felt that isolating was just fine now that it's mandatory, no explanation needed! A relief from the well meaning extroverts who can't believe you'd be happy at home.
I think I feel almost exactly as you, Boud. Having an excuse to do what I want to do which is mostly to just stay at home is a relief. I almost feel guilty about that but maybe some of us are just made this way and have been trying to fit into the "normal" world our entire lives.Delete
To tell you the truth, I don't think I have discovered anything new. However, before The Plague came along I was getting in the mood for significant travels - perhaps to Tasmania or to Wyoming and Montana and I am feeling the loss of that. When The Plague slinks away somewhere will I still be capable and confident enough for independent travel in a foreign land? I am not sure. I feel somehow thwarted.ReplyDelete
I bet you do feel thwarted but I also think that you will indeed be able to travel again one of these days. It'll happen and you'll be fit as a fiddle to do so. I feel quite certain that you've seen more of the US than I have.Delete
I've noticed that a lot of people are being more kind. Not everyone, mind you. I'm only 62 and this is the scariest time i have seen. I think i don't trust patriots of any stripe. I'm beginning to live more in the present, and I'm appreciating our ancestors more.ReplyDelete
The worst thing i have discovered is remembering how selfish i have been at times. It is terrible to see my whole world falling apart, and think that maybe if i had been a better person, it wouldn't be this way,
Of course that's nonsense and we will survive, but that's how i feel too often these days.
I told someone the other day that in my 66 years I've seen some scary shit but this is the scariest. And weirdest, too.Delete
I've never really trusted patriots so that's not something I've had to discover. I've always said that I just didn't get the patriotism gene. But learning to live more in the present is a beautiful thing and the older I get, the more I wonder about and appreciate my own ancestors.
I'm not sure I know what you mean about your perceived selfishness and the resulting effects.
And we will survive. I guess.
OH NO, friend dead and all three beautiful little rats. WTF? How weird. Seems to be the theme of 2020- I have learned fuck all about anything.ReplyDelete
I know. Weird doesn't begin to describe this year. If nothing else though, Linda Sue, at least you've discovered that you can survive weird with your sense of humor and your artistic talent intact. That is something.Delete
I retired 4 years ago from a very physical job in healthcare. I have had RA since my thirties and it just became way too hard to continue that work. I had also done private work and suffice it to say every minute of the day was busy. The time since March has really emphasized to me that I am much better off not being so damn busy! I can read as much as I want,walk the dog on a nice day or just do nothing. I am content even though our lives have become much smaller. Of course, I wreck that tranquility when I start thinking about the mess we are in as a country now. Thank you, Mary. I love to read about your day and I am glad your ribs are healing.ReplyDelete
I think it is possible to be content in our daily life and still feel definitely NOT tranquil when we think about the world at large. It's okay.Delete
I'm glad you come here, terry. And thank you for the sweet words about my ribs.
I surprised even myself; I stepped up to the plate for a new acquaintance when none of her friends did. It was heart wrenching important to her and I figured out how to get it done and did it.ReplyDelete
Poor Owen. Maybe he started too small. A hamster or a gerbil. But they need more equipment. He'll figure it out.
Good for you, Joanne! I'd love to hear that story if you want to tell it.Delete
Owen has had a hamster or a gerbil. I can't remember which it was but that was when he was quite small. He had two and named one "Dad" and one "Owen." That part I'll never forget.
I'm sorry for the losses in your family. That's always so difficult.ReplyDelete
I have discovered the importance of being grateful for the good in our lives especially when we see a lot of bad. I've learned the importance of slowing down but - I think I slowed down too much and got too used to it and I now feel very lazy! Now I'm having trouble getting myself up and moving to get more accomplished in my life!
I wonder why some of us just feel like we HAVE to get things accomplished while others are quite content just going about their days doing a bit of this and that. I suspect a combination of how we were raised and how we are wired. I, too, feel that dread of becoming lazy.Delete
I think we're all right, though. Slowing down IS good.
I am sorry for the loss to your family and feel very sorry for any kid who has to deal with sudden pet loss. That is always hard. I have slowed down, been meditating, getting improved sleep and finding things for which I am grateful. Have a sweet night and thanks for being here.ReplyDelete
Yep. Losing a pet is hard for people at any age. And the kids were so excited to get those little ratties.Delete
I'm so glad you're getting improved sleep. Do you think that the meditation helps that?
Yes, as does the freedom to sleep whenever I damn well please.Delete
well, that just sucks for Owen. and I'm sorry for the loss of the friend.ReplyDelete
at yoga at the end when Abby says her Jesus prayer, I think about the things for which I am grateful. also I never thought the news every morning would put me in fight or flight mode.
I hear you on the news putting us into fight or flight mode. I've felt like this for four years now.Delete
But. Yes. We do have much to be grateful for. And it's good to acknowledge that.
I'm so sorry, Owen. As Boppy says, your pets knew some days of unconditional love with you. Not everyone or everything has that experience. Sad to hear about the friend--even with social media these days, it is still hard to know what is happening or why in many cases. Leaves us bewildered.ReplyDelete
As an introvert, I learned being in a quarantine is not that hard (except for missing my family). However, at my age, the idea of not doing any international travel--or even being able to plan a trip (for a few years according to my doctor)--does make me pretty sad. But I am grateful for the many opportunities I've had to travel in my life so far.
I think that Mr. Moon was quite right about those little beasts getting to spend the last days of their lives being loved. You are completely right- not all of us or all things have that experience.Delete
I completely agree that being in quarantine isn't bad at all except for missing family. And I, too, would love to at least get to travel to Mexico again. Maybe we will, Mary. Maybe we'll get to fly somewhere far away again.
I've learned that I don't do much of anything except work, outside of the house. Life has changed very little, including me.ReplyDelete
For some of us, that is just the way it is.Delete
I'm sorry for the losses, including the rats. As you say, grief is grief. Poor Owen. I hope he can get some other little pet/pets soon.ReplyDelete
I hope they can get some new rat pets soon too. Thank you, Jennifer.Delete
Hmmmm. That's an interesting question. I'll have to think about it. I'm SO SORRY about the rats! That's terrible! I hope Lily can get a refund because that's just not right, for those animals to die so quickly. And of course I'm sorry about Rachel, Lily and Lauren's friend too. A day of bad news.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry for the sadness, and the loss. Mr. Moon has an interesting perspective, it says so much about him that he offered the kids that view. What had I discovered about myself in 2020? I'm not sure actually. This isn't anything deep, but I did love having an excuse to just stay home.ReplyDelete