Maurice and I have stayed in almost all day. She, curled up on a pillow, me going from this to that. It's not even that warm in the house. Oh, well, compared to outside it's quite toasty and I'm not complaining but I am wearing two Goodwill cashmere sweaters.
The pharmacy called. My prescription is renewed. I am vastly relieved.
I've been thinking a lot today as I did laundry, swept, made bread. I don't really feel like discussing what I've been thinking about but it's some heavy stuff. Some going-back-to-mama stuff. Stuff about feeling guilt and shame and anger and mixing them all up into a brew of nastiness.
Stuff I need to let go. Stuff I need to realize I am too old to need to carry around any longer.
Now if one of these days I could just figure out how to let it all go, I'd be a better woman. A happier woman. That's for sure.
Meanwhile, at least I know why I sometimes feel the way I do.
I made two loaves of Kalamata olive and rosemary bread and have just taken them out of the oven. I am cooking chicken with pineapple and cinnamon and onions. There will be brown rice and broccoli. Tomorrow I am meeting Lily and Jessie to go to Costco. I think we'll go to lunch. Then Mr. Moon and I are going to Apalachicola for the weekend where we will see some old friends.
All of the chickens and the ducks are in the henhouse except for Dovie. I took Camellia in there and poor little Mick too. He was huddled on the ground of the coop and I could not bear that. Perhaps he has not had a place to roost. He will learn.
We all learn, I guess. Or we don't.
But one thing we can be is compassionate. With ourselves and with each other.
I do truly believe that.