Monday, April 16, 2012

Life And What That Entails

Exhausted and the house is so far from clean. I am extremely uncoordinated in my cleaning efforts. I go from dusting to cleaning a window to throwing things away to cleaning out the chicken coop to starting bread to going out to the garage to get some venison out of the freezer to starting a pot of soup and then back to dusting and then to sweeping and sorting and oh, my.
And oh yes, I washed the dogs.

So anyway, I have one room which is ready to mop and a some cleaner windows and an almost poop-free chicken house and the baby chick cage is cleaned and they are snugly removed to the outside shelter and Mr. Moon has got a light ready to go over that cage to keep them warm at night.
I think they shall be fine.

And soup is simmering and bread is baking so at least there is all of that and two cleanish dogs and yes, I took a walk too and so although I feel as if I did nothing today, nothing at all, and although I moved as slowly as a woman can move and still be going in a forward-direction, I suppose I did get a few things done.

But that's not what I came here to talk about.

No. What I came here to talk about is this picture which Lily sent me today and oh, isn't he gorgeous?

My tiny boy. Our Gibson.

He'll be four weeks old tomorrow. This seems impossible. And yet. It is true.

I was thinking yesterday about how Gibson, like Owen, has the genes of his mama and his daddy and how that includes his grandparents and great-grandparents and even great-great grandparents and back to the people I have no clue about at all, and oh yes, I know- what could be more obvious- but still, I thought I saw a tiny bit of my grandmother in him the other day and it rocked me because well, it's not just a theory, these genes that make up our children and grandchildren.
It's so very real.

Mystifying and comforting and scary and funny and it's all right here in front of my eyes.

Fascinating. Yes.

And maybe that's why we fall in love so hard with our babies and our grand babies. Fall in love so true and immediately because even though we cannot really see it with our eyes, we sense all of it when we look into their eyes. All of the lives which have made up all of our lives and if there's anything more wondrous than that, I am not sure what it is.

Oh, if I had the power to pick and choose among the genes that I know about I would certainly do so. I would give my grandchildren the good ones and I would sweep the bad ones out the door but we can't do that. Not yet, at least. Maybe never, not really. And what would we lose if we could choose?
I suspect more than we know.

I just hope with all of my heart that that little boy has a preponderance of ones that will ensure his health and hopefully, his joy.

We'll just have to wait and see.
Until then, I know that there is no doubt that I am in love with him already. Fully and madly and deeply and that every day I will love him more.

His older brother has taught me that and I am learning that lesson anew with him.

I have always said that my children were my greatest teachers. I am learning now that grandchildren are my teachers, too. And so much of what I have learned from all of them is that it is all about love although when I say that, I am freely and fully admitting that we humans have no real conception of what that word means, but we do know a tiny shadow of the glory of it and we know it most strongly and surely and purely when we look into the eyes of a child and no, I don't know much, but I am quite, quite certain of that.

24 comments:

  1. My god that boy is beautiful! I think I already said it here, but I'm truly happy for each and every one of you, including Gibson.

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  2. You are always so busy and claiming not to do much but just reading tires me out. It is a rare day I make soup and I almost never bake bread. And I don't have chickens at all. Today I drove and drove I think. And did some dishes.

    And your newest boy is a beautiful miracle. 4 weeks already!

    It is amazing to see older people you know or knew in the new ones.

    I always thought I must have a lot of my mother's mother in me because my mother didn't like her much.

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  3. That face! And that boy has something to say. xo

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  4. Look at that face! How could you not feel happy, looking at that baby. The thing that surprised me most about having children is how so totally they are themselves from birth. They come equipped with personalities.

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  5. That baby is effing adorable. I just can't stand it.

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  6. He is so unique...so Gibson. The look in his eyes makes me feel he "knows"...ya know what I mean?

    And those hands! He has his Grandpa Bop's hands - he will be tall!

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  7. He is so big already that I almost thought that can't be him. Gibson is simply adorable.

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  8. That picture makes me want to kiss his face off!!!! ( as i say to ee )

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  9. He already looks like he can take on the world.

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  10. Beautiful. Happy one-month-old birthday, sweet baby boy!

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  11. He has a look in his eyes and his mouth like he has seen the world in its entirety and knows what is what. That is a strange beatific and exotic child I tell you what Mary this on is going to set things on fire. This one is a seer.
    love,
    Rebecca

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  12. He is so cute and so wise looking. Very serious, that boy.

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  13. Oh Ms Moon, the first weeks of life can be the loveliest. It shows in his eyes.

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  14. yeah, that boy is thinking,
    "I got this, no sweat...watch what these big ones do when I make this face... booyaaa! I SO got this"

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  15. They look like such wise, calm souls at that very young age, don't they?

    And they are our greatest teachers. I was a discombobulated mess before I had my son. He leveled me, he centered me, he showed me all the things that are real in life.

    xoxo

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  16. OMG...I do believe we have the three most beautiful grandsons in the world.
    That face.... It slays me.

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  17. What a beautiful idea. Yes, we see the old ones, in those half-here baby eyes.

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  18. Yes, I agree with all of these folks...and you. This boy and his brother are adorable and I love them both just a little bit.

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  19. This makes me miss having a baby in the house.

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  20. Deb- Thank you, sugar.

    tiffany- I do appreciate it. Always.

    Jeannie- Your last line made me laugh. I'm sorry if it's not meant to be funny but I can so relate.

    Stephanie- Serious little monkey, isn't he?

    gradydoctor- Deep and dark.

    Birdie- And before we know it, he will be saying it all.

    ellen abbott- I always say the same thing. They are born who they are.

    beth coyote- He makes me happy.

    liv- I said to Lily today, "I know it's too early to tell but he sure likes like he has his grandfather's feet to me."

    Rubye Jack- And he's mighty sweet.

    Maggie May- It's a wonder any of our babies survive with their faces at all.

    Rebecca- He has certainly taken our world.

    lulumarie- Thank-you, dear love.

    Madame King- He does look like that, doesn't he? As if maybe there is a gypsy king in there somewhere. Who knows? Not me.

    Syd- He is starting to smile, though. He is.

    Elisabeth- He doesn't have much to complain about yet.

    Magnum- Exactly!

    Chrissy- They make us be our best. Which may not always be good enough, but still. Our best.

    yo- I think you are right.

    Vesuvius- Hello! I think we do. We see the ancient in their brand-new.

    Ms. Trouble- That makes me happy.

    messymimi- They are wonders, these babies.

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  21. Your words are so wise Mary. Your last paragraph summed it up so well.

    That photo...he is indeed gorgeous. I just love his look as he stares at his dear mum as she took the picture.

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