I am completely paralyzed with the prospect of all that I must do in the next week and because I haven't begun to do any of it (I tried, I tried to go shopping but the sight of seeing an old lady buying a very pink Christmas tree made of feathers made me retire to my car to weep), I am, instead, here at your service, providing Holiday Humor.
Here's my favorite New Yorker cartoon of all times. So far.
Could someone please come over and kick my ass into gear?
Thanks.
And just in case you don't have your magnifying glass, what Santa is saying is, "Stop avoiding me. I know when you are sleeping. I know when you're awake."
Sorry. I can't find a bigger image and we're all lucky I can figure this picture thing out at all.
Yeah, well I gave up Christmas. I used to be famous for having a party each year at this time. I had a friend who went to NC often, and he would bring me a swell tree. We would throw a party a lot of folks wold come over and bring ornaments and when they went home the tree was all decked out and the people were full of food and drink. Good food I might add and top shelf liquor and dope too. One year we didn't do it. Then after a couple of false starts we just stopped and since Tommy & Toni Texino had suddenly been together for nearly 30 years. It seemed foolish to spend money bribing each other to hang around. Christmas comes now? Well we try and do something nice for poor folks or animals but we don't Holly Up our selves. I feel fine for the people who really care for the holiday, but I'm OK, with some nice Chinese food and a good cold coke with a picture of Santa on it is all the spirit I need.
ReplyDeleteMe? I'm pretty thankful this Holiday Season myself. All I want from Santa is a little "steady as she goes."
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, I actually finished all of my holiday shopping early this year. Granted 70% of it was done online and delivered to my door by a postman whom I've seen enough to be on a first name basis with.
ReplyDeleteTex- I, too, used to hold a big throw-down at the Christmas time. Egg nog and every kind of baked goods and plenty of spirits.
ReplyDeleteFor better or worse, I'm done with that one. The Chinese food idea sounds good to me.
Juancho- hey! I'm lighting candles for you. If I were Santa, I'd look down (is Santa God?) and say, "He's been a pretty good boy. Let's bring him something very, very special.
Jon- Uh, I pretty much hate you.
No. Not really. I'm just jealous of your ingenuity.
We'll talk when you and Ms. Steph have three or four kids.
But Merry Christmas anyway.
I need a kicking too! but really I'd just prefer to hang out and sip something warm, eat something toasty. Yeah, forget the kicking this year, lets just see what happens :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, Ample.
ReplyDeleteLet's all run away to the beach and have grouper for Christmas dinner and look at the stars and be happy.
Gosh I'm overwhelmed with Christmas shopping too - I haven't had ANY time to even think about doing that! I have no clue how I'm going to get it done - I dread being in the crowds, traffic, etc. And all I want to do is sleep and enjoy my family! Arghhh! The bad side of Christmas.... Hopefully we'll all get it done 'in a jiffy' and without hassle and have time to enjoy ourselves.
ReplyDelete