Yeah, Yeah. I'm Over-Blogging. Again.

Just wanted to say that I put in that Feedjit gadget that allows you to see who's on the blog in real time and how they got there.
Now don't freak out. I don't plan to sit here and watch it, unlike Ms. Sarcastic Bastard. Haha! I know she doesn't really do that. She was just joking.
I merely like the concept of seeing who stops by from where. You know?
And here's what I've discovered in the last few minutes:
People are still hitting my blog from doing a google search on Jennifer Lopez's ass.
Like- a lot.
So I thought my blog was getting read by people who, oh, I don't know- liked to read my blog- BUT IN FACT, it is just being hit by people who want to know how to get an ass like the one on Jennifer Lopez.
Shit. They must be so disappointed when they find out you have to fall on it. Your ass, that is.

Well, really, that's all I wanted to say about that. And if the live feed thing makes you uncomfortable, just let me know. I'll scrap it. As we all know, I aim to please.

And don't make me post that picture again. You know the one I'm talking about.
This one.

And now. Seriously. I AM OUTTA HERE!

Until I come back.

How To Get A Foot Like Jennifer Lopez's Ass

Be a Foley artist.

Have a whole lot of adrenalin going because the performance has just begun and the audience- uh, IS there an audience? Definitely needs waking up.

Stand there, waiting for your cue to make the sound of a car hitting a metal garbage can. When the cue comes, hit the garbage can as you're supposed to with the iron rod you're holding. Then, as practiced successfully many times, kick the can to make the sound of the car knocking the garbage can down the sidewalk.

However, to get the desired Jennifer Lopez ass effect on your foot, kick the can improperly, which is done by getting your stupid high-heeled foot UNDER the bottom of the can and then, with all the adrenalin in your body, kick.

Realize within nanoseconds that you have just REALLY FUCKED UP YOUR FOOT.

Try not to hobble across the stage to retrieve the garbage can to put it in place for its next use (the breaking of china over it).

Note with pleasure that indeed, the audience is now awake.

Spend the rest of the performance, surreptitiously checking your foot (the tights are torn, making viewing easier) for damage.

Sigh.

We must all, I suppose, suffer for our art.

It doesn't really hurt so I doubt I've broken anything, but I can feel the fluid moving in it when I walk, which is a bit disconcerting.

Other than that, the play was fun. And tonight? I'll not be kicking the can in an improper way.

And let me explain the title of this post. The google search which brings the most people to my blog is How To Get An Ass Like Jennifer Lopez's and the second most googled search to bring people over to my place is Update on the Jennifer Lopez Ass.
So really, I'm just trying to get more traffic but let's face it- anyone who googles foot and Jennifer Lopez's ass is going to be sadly disappointed by the lack of kinkiness which is blessourhearts.

So if you got to this post by that sort of googling- I apologize. I got you here under false pretenses.

I also apologize to every one for the state of my toenails and animal-like hooves, although really, would you honestly think that Ms. Moon's feet would look even THAT good?

I didn't think so.

Update On The Jennifer Lopez Ass

Well, sadly, it's gone. I no longer resemble Jennifer Lopez in any way whatsoever unless in the way that we're both female bipedal human beings with eyes on the front of our heads.
She's a famous Latina singer and actress who recently gave birth to twins and who is married to a talented but unfortunately not very handsome man, while I am a completely unknown writer and mother who had her children one at a time and who is married to a talented and very handsome man.
It all works out.
While I do still have quite the discolored lump back there, it doesn't in any way, shape, or form look like the eighth wonder of the world that Jennifer so proudly (and justifiably so!) displays.
Sigh.
It's healing. It itches. And it's a sort of hurt-itch. Not the end of the world, but the tiniest bit annoying.
And I am reminded that I am incredibly fortunate that when I landed I fell exactly where I did because otherwise, I'd be on crutches.
Or in a wheelchair.
Phew.
Just thought you might be wondering.
Plus, I just like saying Jennifer Lopez's ass.