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I am not in the habit of rereading my old posts unless I'm looking for something specific like, oh, a wedding report. Today, however, Facebook gave me a memory of a link to a post I'd written ten years ago today. I clicked on it, I read it, and I have been thinking about it all day long and the main thing I've thought about is that although I entitled it It Doesn't Get Better Than This, I did not remember specific details from it while realizing, as I read, that no, it does not get better than this. 
Ten years later and that fact remains true. I have had some amazing and wonderful days since then but when you get right down to it, having a five year old grandson tell you his secrets, tell you he loves you, tell you he will always be there for you, is impossible to surpass except for the days my three other grandchildren were born. And this is not a competition about best days ever. This is just a musing on how we humans miss so much while we are waiting for things to happen that we feel will make us the most fulfilled, the happiest, the very shiniest toy in the catalog of the possible gifts of our life. Whether we're waiting for more money, to lose weight, to meet the person of our dreams, to travel to that one country we've always wanted to visit, to publish that book, to climb that mountain, to meet Brad Pitt...

Okay. That last one was a joke. And I'd far rather meet Keith Richards. 

But you know what I mean. And after rereading this post, I understand more fully where my deep bond with Owen comes from and I am overwhelmed and overcome.
And it doesn't get better than that. 

Here's the post: 

Friday, March 13, 2015

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

Today has been a stellar day. My theory that I am somewhat bi-polar continues in that I felt so much myself this morning that I put on a little eye-liner and shadow and perfume before I went to town to pick up Hank where he's house-sitting and I had such a good time at lunch. We went to Fanny's so we got to see May and Taylor and eat delicious foods while eating outside.

Owen eating the bacon and lettuce on a bun sandwich which he loves and Gibson eating the Gibson sampler platter which is pickled okra, deviled eggs and potato chips. When we got there, I hugged my boys so hard and asked Owen to tell me all his secrets. He dragged me away to sit by the little pool and did so. I had to promise not to tell anyone what they are but I will say that one of them involved stealing a baby dinosaur and keeping it in a safe in his house and feeding it cats because it is a meat eater. 

And another one, whispered at the end was, "I love you."

After lunch I went to the Goodwill (manic behavior- wanting to shop) and spent thirty damn dollars. I bought a beautiful purse bag which, when I sent pictures to Lily she proclaimed as looking as if it were made from a couch. I texted back, "A really cute couch."

I also bought a fine leather-bound journal, a tablecloth which has about four years' worth of hand-stitching on it, a Gap purple very soft v-necked T-shirt, and a red and black dress which doesn't look that great on me but which fits. 

I consider all of that a major score. 

And when I was looking through the dresses, a woman told me, "If you see anything slinky, sexy or slutty let me know." 

Holy opportunity, Batman!

I found her a dress which she loved.

"I could wear that to dinner!" she said. 

"And if you play your cards right, you could at least get a drink or two out of it," I said. 

"Or a movie!" she replied.

I felt as if I'd done my job.

And Mr. Moon and I have had a martini and I have rosemary and Kalamata olive bread rising

 and he's got charcoals going to grill steaks which I have smeared with olive oil and smashed garlic . 

I don't think I could ask for anything more and yet, here is something else that happened to me today- when I was hugging Owen good-bye after lunch, he said to me, "Mer. I will always be here for you."

I swear to you, that is what he told me. Five years old. And I almost died. 

"And I will always be here for you," I said, stumbling over reality. "Or, until I'm not. And I will ALWAYS be in your heart," I told him. "Always."

Dear god, let this be so. 

Love...Ms. Moon

P.S. I just realized that I am wearing that very same Gap tee shirt and it is even softer than it was ten years ago.