Monday, January 14, 2019
Anxiety ate me up this morning and spit me out and I drove to town to meet my kids and some of the grandkids at an Indian restaurant for lunch. I know that tomorrow's appointment is making me this kind of crazy which is ridiculous crazy and illogical crazy and stupid crazy and irrational crazy and I know all of that and yet, here we are. This time tomorrow it'll all be over except for the part where I'll be trying to figure out how to tell everyone I'm dying of some dread, horrible disease which is what I never fail to think is going to happen when I go to a doctor.
Even my sweet handsome doctor.
Enough of that. I may be too sick to go to the doctor tomorrow. Suddenly, after being hardly laid low at all by whatever this virus is, I feel terrible. Well, terrible-ish. My skin hurts. I am cold.
But before I succumbed to that and laid down on my bed and fell asleep, I did have that lunch with the children and it was sweet. August is feeling better but he didn't want to sit on a chair because he says he's been feeling dizzy and was afraid he'd fall off. So he sat on my lap which was lovely for me. He had a rough time of it in that May had brought Maggie her belated birthday presents and August was sorely jealous. Maggie grudgingly let him play with one of the two mermaids she'd gotten AND wear one of her new pink bracelets. So he brushed the mermaid's hair while I ate my lunch as he'd had a peanut butter sandwich before they got there. Levon sat on his mother's lap and shared her food. Maggie sat on her own chair, her birthday crown atop her head, mostly upside down but still regal.
After that I went to Publix and almost all of the cold-section things were not in place due to an unexplained cooler breakdown throughout the store. Luckily I needed neither yogurt nor lettuce and got the things I needed and came home.
It's been gray today, and wet-cold. Just miserable.
I'm going to make our supper and then take a hot shower and get in bed, wake up, get that appointment over with, come home and plan my funeral.
Sounds about right.
I'll check in tomorrow night and let you know how it went.
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What a sweet picture to accompany this post. I don't know why you are going to see the doctor. It sounds like a simple check-up? Don't be such a big baby Ms Moon ! Instead, be brave!ReplyDelete
I would wish that you could never understand what I am trying to express here. Truly.Delete
And yes, I will be brave.
You're going to do the necessary even when it's difficult. In my book, you ARE being brave!ReplyDelete
Thank you. And it is unbelievably difficult for me for whatever reason. I feel silly that it is so and yet- well- that's just the truth of it.Delete
Don't disappoint us tomorrow.ReplyDelete
I won't, Joanne!Delete
SO understand the anxiety, which I have with dentists. SO understand it. You will live and thrive through and beyond your appointment......but I know that won't help at the moment! don't plan your funeral yet, please. Hot shower and bed is just what you need and may you sleep wellReplyDelete
Thank you, Susan. I'm ready for that shower now.ReplyDelete
You will live. I promise you.ReplyDelete
Once again, dear friend, I believe you are right.Delete
I loathe going to the doctor or the dentist or the hairdresser or the manicurist or anyplace where someone is going to touch and scrutinize my body. Even though I need it and intellectually want it. I’ve been known to have panic attacks at the dentist which is just ridiculous.ReplyDelete
Pretty sure you will at least live long enough to have a nice going-away party. I’m hoping for Led Zeppelin at mine.
I had a complete dissociative break after I walked out of a doctor's office once. This shit is serious.Delete
Led Zeppelin, huh? I'm aiming for the Rolling Stones or Bruce Springsteen.
I hated to laugh, but I actually did. And then the comment spam you got made me laugh harder. Good lord! And good luck with the appointment --ReplyDelete
I probably should have left the spam comment up just for the comedic value.Delete
Thinking of you. (Maybe you should get an escort.)ReplyDelete
I probably should have!Delete
turned gray and cold yesterday. I was cold all day. gray today too but supposed to be a little warmer. my dr appt got postponed to Monday. I feel like I got a reprieve.ReplyDelete
Like a last-minute call from the Governor's office!Delete