Hellz A Poppin'!

You know, some people say life is like a journey and some people say life is like a dream but I say life is like trying to hold a barrel-full of ping pong balls under water with one hand.

Just when you think you've got all those merry, bouncing balls under control, they start popping up to taunt you.

Not that I EVER think I have anything under control but at least sometimes I feel like maybe I have a clue as to how I will eventually get things under control which is hysterically funny and patently untrue.

Our water is turned off right now because there's a plumbing leak and although Mr. Moon can fix it because he can fix anything, he can't always fix things right this second and today is an example of that. Since he's the solo breadwinner, he has to be there winning bread at his real job in town and here I sit, helpless and useless, not even able to do the monkey-work I usually do which is washing dishes and doing laundry, making me feel even more useless and helpless.

Also, the ominous noise my car has been making turned downright ugly this morning so I've driven it to the village car repair place (yes! we do have one!) which inspired great interest on the part of the three guys who work there because they've never worked on my particular type of car before. Despite the fact that they didn't know how to open the hood, I know they'll be able to figure it out because these guys are good. You should see all the grease on the computer keyboard in that office! Whoa!

I went walking today but just as I got to the part where I have been seeing the bear tracks, I heard something in the bushes (a bird, probably) which made me jump and turn around and go back the way I'd come because I'm just all of a sudden freaked out about this whole bear thing. It's like the time I was using the outhouse and I saw a snake at my feet at the exact second that a wasp stung my shoulder. I KNEW a wasp had stung me but for a microsecond the threat of snake bite and the reality of wasp sting blended together in my mind and if there was an award for adrenalin output, I would have won it that day.

So thinking about bears and hearing a noise in the bushes had a similar effect on me and although I didn't exactly bolt or scream like a girl, I did get a hot flash.

And I don't know. These are all very small ping pong balls. Tiny. But it seems like the giant balls (no pun intended) that make up the world's problems are more out of control than usual too and I can't do a damn thing about them. Our governor (I wonder if his balls are as tanned as the rest of him), who impressed us all despite the fact that he's a Republican with his initial speeches about the environment and the need to support education has gone all I-might-be-McCain's-running-mate on us and is hollering to open up drilling off our coast and there's the whole no-gay-marriage-amendment thing going on here in Florida and by God, I'm tired of people in Bagdad getting killed with my tax dollars.

And so forth. Floods, levees being breached, world-wide food shortages, unspeakable horrors happening all over the place, our stupid idiot president (who is one big ugly testicle as far as I can see) being let off his leash to actually speak in foreign countries ("You're looking good, your holiness!" "Maybe my rhetoric has caused people to think I'm not a man of peace," etc.) and well, okay, maybe I've had too much coffee today and anyway, yes, I'm on to the manic phase of my mental disorder. I wish it was the sort of mania where I feel like I can do and accomplish anything and then go out and buy eighteen pairs of shoes, but no, Ms. Moon just types away at nothing and then sweeps the house.

All right. I'm done.

I'm tired of worrying about all this shit and it's not helping anyway.

I can't fix fix the plumbing, I can't fix my car, I can't fix George Bush's brain or the Christian Right's homophobia or the levees. I can't even fix it so there aren't any bears where I want to walk.

I can fix lunch though and I think I will.

You gotta start somewhere.

One ping pong ball at a time, right?

And if you'd like to tell me what the nature of your out-of-control ping pong balls are, I'd love to hear about it. I'm blessing your heart in advance.