Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Well. At Least I Have Tried Today

This house that I passed on my walk today is an apt visual metaphor for how I've been feeling lately. And by the way- although it IS a fally-down house, it is not THE fally-down house. In fact, it is mostly a fally-apart house because it is newer than the fally-down house and things are just falling off of it. Like, the walls. 

I did take a walk today. I had to. I mean- it's been weeks. The truth is, I still don't feel well. My skin is still sensitive and my hips ache and I just don't have much energy. But I did my two miles without passing out or anything. I will say I was glad when I got home. 

And then, because I did not want to feel like the most worthless piece of crap on the planet, I decided to go through my closet and do a real clean-out. Which I did. I had three piles. One to go to May, one to go to Goodwill, and one to go to the trash. May's pile got so large that I ended up putting everything in one of those big plastic containers like a Rubbermaid bin although it was made by someone else. The Goodwill pile filled up a tall kitchen-sized plastic bag, as did the trash pile. I got rid of almost all of the things that do not fit me and which will never fit me again unless I get a terminal, wasting disease at which point I will probably only wear nightgowns. I did not get rid of all of them. I admit that. There are a few things I just cannot bear to let go. But I have a feeling that even those will be coming up on the big wheel at some point in the near future. I loaded the bin in my car along with the Goodwill bag and the trash bag. I have already taken that one to the dump.

So. That feels good even if I do not. 

I would like to say that my closet and dresser drawers are now a model of serene and uncluttered neatness but they aren't. My closet still has two different forms of down comforters in it as well as two cotton blankets and a quilt. Every night I have had to try and determine what we need to sleep under for our utmost comfort. It's been so damn warm the past few days that I only need what I call "the duckling" which is so old that I don't have the foggiest notion of where I got it and what down there ever was in it is now packed into tiny corners so that most of the warmth comes from the cover fabric itself. Mr. Moon would never sleep under any of the ducks because he sleeps hot. So he requires, on his half of the bed, a variety of what we refer to as "blankies" and access to a cotton woven blanket. 
It is a process every night, readying the bed for our sleep preferences. 

Therefore, the closet still has a lot in it and not just the comforters, blankets, and quilts. Shawls, shoes, a pair of boots, suitcases, and of course the clothes I do still wear. 

Well. You know. 

I will take May's things to her tomorrow AND drop off the Goodwill bag if all goes as planned. It will be my Levon and August day. Both boys are back in school and Jessie is not unhappy about that. I will be glad to see those boys. 

I unleashed Ralph again today to finish up after his traumatic incident yesterday. He has definitely taught himself how to get into the kitchen and Mr. Moon and I are so proud of him. We watched him dock himself into his charger/bin sucker-upper this afternoon, arms around each other as if we were watching one of our children at a musical recital.
My husband said, "Good job, son."

Mr. Moon has cleaned the fish he caught yesterday and I about to go cook them. I already have a pot of greens on the stove simmering away. I already have cornbread from a few nights ago and I'll heat that up. I might make a tomato and cucumber salad. And Lord, will it feel good to get in bed tonight. 

There's the little catbird (I think) that is still trying to get into my bathroom. That was happening late this afternoon and there was definitely no reflection that he could see in the window. I have no idea what he's thinking as he bashes his body over and over into the glass but perhaps that is another metaphor of my life- endlessly attempting to change the outcome of something I have no reason to believe I can successfully do, despite a million unsuccesful attempts. 

Humans. Birds. We are all silly stubborn creatures, are we not?

Love...Ms. Moon


  1. You sound better today. Fo you think the low mood is a symptom of the virus? Flu certainly does it, so probably other viruses can,too.

  2. I love your relationship with your Roomba. How I wish mine had been the same.

  3. A walk AND a closet clean-out in one day? Good for you! I managed a load of wash, and cleaned out our 5 gallon goldfish tank....which sits here on kitchen counter. Long needing to be done and not easy, but now I can see fish and snails and they can see me! Love the falling down house, which looks recent times. The boy grands will lift your spirits even more tomorrow, bless them!
    Susan M

  4. I have never (yet) tested positive for COVID, but definitely have had suspiciously covid-like ailments (and what you're describing is pretty much what ailed me in September) over the past 6 months. Also, today my off-brand Roomba attempted to unalive itself by hurling itself down the basement stairs. I mean, it is very dirty down there and in need of a vacuuming but I do not think Fergus the not-Roomba will be cleaning anything anytime soon, or ever.

  5. I would love a roomba but dogs and cats who shed a lot would not make for a happy robot.
    Cleaning out any closet or cupboard is a mammoth task even for the well and healthy. Well done, you.

  6. Well done on your walk and the decluttering. Don't you feel that you can breathe just a little easier when stuff leaves the house? I know I do!

  7. I wish I could clean out my cupboard/wardrobe, but it has stuff I'm not ready to get rid of yet, because maybe this year I WILL lose those thirty or forty pounds.
    I really like your lovely wide floorboards.

  8. Does anybody live in that second fally down house?

    I should follow your example and have a good wardrobe clear out. There are shirts in there that I haven't worn for twenty five years and if the truth be known I will never wear them again.. For some reason I find it hard to be ruthless with possessions, clothes and books - in fact everything.

  9. It feels good to have a nice clean out of things you don't need anymore. I often dream of renting a big dumpster and cleaning out all of the crap in my home... Sigh!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. I like cleaning out closets and purging stuff. I may have been a minimalist in a previous life:)

    As for the bird, god only knows. I have spent a lifetime banging my head against walls, hoping things will change. They never do. Sending hugs.

  11. Bravo for cleaning out your closet. I should probably do the same. I have clothes with holes in them. It's ridiculous.


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