Saturday, February 11, 2023

Rainy Day Woman


And this is how we eat pizza around here. I don't even know why I bother to make pizza when the arugula isn't in season because arugula is what makes the pizza sing and dance. I pick it, wash it, dry it, cut it up a little bit, and then slosh a tiny bit of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, a smashed garlic clove, some salt and pepper on it, mix it up, stick a little fork in the bowl and set it on the table for our serving pleasure. 

So that's what we had last night. I destroy the kitchen when I make pizza. There's the dough to be dealt with and all the chopping and grating and in this case, the making of an alfredo sauce with mushrooms and artichoke hearts, onions, and leftover chicken. That was one pizza and the other was more traditional with red sauce, ham, black olives, onion, artichoke hearts and (please don't hate me) pineapple because that is what the man loves best. I like it fine. You could put just about anything on a pizza and I would like it. 

Another day of rain. At least a garden-cart full. And it's getting cooler. Sort of dreary, actually. Mr. Moon went to a noon-time basketball game and I'd done all the laundry yesterday and I was both happy to have such down time and also, feeling at loose ends. I did three crosswords, the Wordle (are y'all still Wordleing?) and made up a loaf of bread that is still rising. I have my towel-covered heating pad, proofing situation all perfected which comes in handy when I don't have two days to wait for a loaf to rise. I finally sat down on the couch to do a little crocheting and watch a Mormon-adjacent documentary and glanced over at the table beside me where I keep some of my thread and pins and needles and scissors and so forth to see this guy. 


I just had to laugh. I thought about the eternal question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin and although I will never know the answer to that, I do now know approximately how many pins an anole needs to dance on. 
Next thing I knew, he was trying to climb the lamp. 


"Little help, here?" he seemed to be saying. But he figured it out on his own. Later, he was climbing the landline phone that we haven't used in at least six months except for that once I needed it to try and locate my iPhone. 


If he's waiting for a call, he's out of luck. That system isn't even plugged in. Look at those little hands of his! They look so clever, so tidy, so...human. Alien-human, perhaps. 

I went outside in a break in the rain to pick more arugula and some kale and mustard greens for tonight's salad and took this picture of bejeweled mulberry babies.


I am really not good at being leisurely. I always think it will make me happy but it rarely does. I need projects. Real projects. I attribute my inability to really start them as stemming from when I had children at home. I would just get something going when a child needed me or it was time to cook dinner or wash diapers or, later on, go do my school volunteer stuff or my part time job or shuttle children to and from lessons and scouts and friends' houses or one or another of the endless things that mothers do. I did manage to make gardens, sew things and occasionally refinish a piece of furniture or, hell, I don't know. Do whatever it was I did. I've never been good at drawing or painting. Writing and cooking are my main creative outlets. I've always read voraciously. 
I look back and think of the fact that I managed to go to nursing school when I had two small children and I realize that was something but millions of women do that. 

On that day last week when we thought, for a few hours at least, about the possibility of buying that house in Roseland, it seemed like such a good idea. Even if the house needed a lot of work, if the kitchen and a bathroom and a bedroom were functional, we could stay there and do things at our own pace. Mr. Moon could have hired help with whatever repairs needed doing and I could have shopped at the myriad of thrift stores and the giant Habitat for Humanity store a few miles down the road for furniture and rugs and lamps and kitchen things. We wouldn't have needed to cram the place full of stuff. In fact, I wouldn't want to do that. I had even thought about planting exotic palms and mangos on the property. It's tropical gardening paradise there. 
And every night that we wanted to, we could have watched the sunset from that dock and we could kayak down the river and take the boat to the islands in the inter-coastal waterway to look for Fossil Island where we used to find mammoth teeth and vertebrae when I was a child. 
We would not have moved there permanently. I could never leave my children and grandchildren. I just couldn't. And I love this house and our garden and life in Lloyd. But we could spend weeks at a time there. We are retired, after all. Despite the fact that we mostly have been since covid began, we are just now really starting to realize that we can go and do in ways that we were never able to before. Even the simplest things like buying a mullet dinner on a Friday at noon is something we need to be more open to. 

Well. 

Saturday night musings as the rain falls, a sweet steady drumbeat. It will stop raining eventually and I will be able to plant my peas, my onions, my potatoes. I'll be able to hang my clothes on the line and take my walks. Maybe I will start sewing dresses for Magnolia again. I look back on the days when August and Levon wanted dresses too and I miss that. I wonder what they'd say if I even suggested it. The age of innocence is beautiful and it is short although August still has no qualms about wearing shoes and shirts in his favorite color, which is pink. And unicorns and rainbows adorn his backpack. 

If only I could accept myself the way August accepts himself which is unique and wonderful and needing no definition or explanation. 
If only all of us could do that, it would be a much better world. 

Love...Ms. Moon


28 comments:

  1. Try Wordlegame.org. Unlimited games AND they tell you when you have a double letter. I'm addicted.

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    1. Ah but one Wordle a day is enough for me, I think. I'm already too addicted to crosswords. But that does sound fun.

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  2. The owls are finally back in the trees in my yard after the New Year’s Eve racket scared them away and as of this morning I have chives once again growing in my herb pot. And more things being shot out of the sky. 💯 there for pineapple on pizza. Hello Mary! XOR

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    1. I am so glad to hear about both the owls and the chives! I need to plant some basil quick-quick. I am suffering. Pineapple pizza is fine with me. Why not? Who knew that spinach and pineapple go so nicely together?
      What in HELL ARE they shooting out of the sky? Do we even know?

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  3. I love ham and pineapple together on pizza. Yum! I fantasized about you buying that house, and it becoming the family getaway, but in fact the kingdom where you are now is the family place, and it is perfect and wonderful there, with no money down. We are so much the same but in one way we are different, I could not have got so close to that anole, in Jamaica we called them lizards. I admire your equanimity with so much nature. Such a different world from my life in the city. It is nice to be here visiting with you as twilight creeps in.

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    1. Oh, we called them lizards too when I was growing up. And they were all green unless they climbed onto something brown. This is another variety of them, I think. Invasive, probably. I do not touch them. I mean, I would, to save one's life. But only then. Or maybe if one was on a baby. I do not mind being close to them though. They are shy and yet, bold at the same time. I admire them.
      I am always glad to visit with you, my love.

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  4. There is no way I could abide having those little anoles running around my house! They were OK when we were out camping and we just called them all Tony Lizardo!

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    1. Tony Lizardo! That's great! I don't mind them in the house. They amuse me.

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  5. You make the rain sound so right, as it is for Florida id mid winter. We have had rain, rain, more rain, and temps consistently in the fifties. This is so wrong for NE Ohio in the middle of winter.

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    1. Temps have been in the fifties here today too. Brrr!!! I know, we're wimps. But it's stopped raining. It should be colder and snowing in NE Ohio, right?

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  6. You are so right about the acceptance thing.

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  7. Your last paragraph is perfect.

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  8. We still do Wordle every day...competing for the fewest lines. Then we do Worldle, that is quite hard, and then there is a newish one called " fullrainbow.co.uk" . I also practise with " hellowordl.net"....you can just keep doing new ones!
    How lovely to find little lizardy things running about. I always wanted to have one as a pet, but never got round to it.......quite difficult to look after I think.....and live food!!

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    1. That's a lot of word games!
      Having house lizards is a very easy way to have pets. They get their own live food.

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  9. That anole really does look like he's waiting for a call doesn't he!!! Just gorgeous!

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    1. I think he is. He's probably called his mother for directions home and is waiting for her reply.

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  10. Another lovely post. That anole seemed desperate to reach the phone. Perhaps he wanted to find out why the two unidentified flying objects from Planet Anole had not yet arrived to save The Earth. Little does he know that they have been shot down over the far north of North America.

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    1. I don't have the heart to tell him. Poor little stranded lizard man.

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  11. You write so well, Mary, and express feelings that I feel in words that I can't always find. Thank you!

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  12. I wonder now how many anoles it takes to change a lightbulb. I think your fantasy about that house is nearly as good as the reality. In one sense, you've got the house.

    So the dresses are a thing of the past? Nice while it lasted. I remember my mother saying one of my brothers liked to play with dolls when he was very small, and she defended him against all sorts of criticism. Good for her. I liked that nobody made the grandson feel bad about dresses, when he was so happy.

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    1. Haha! I think it would take quite a few anoles to change a lightbulb, even if it was just a nightlight bulb.
      You're right about the house. And yet, I truly think it would be doable if we didn't put a lot of pressure on ourselves. But- here we are. Castles in the air.
      Neither boy has asked for a dress for a long time. It really does make me sad. I'm sure Maggie would like one though.
      And yes, good for your mother for defending your brother! That took courage.

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  13. Sadly for August, for all of us, that self acceptance will be beaten out of him by the world, but I hope not. I would love that level of self acceptance as well. I so often beat myself up, maybe that's why I always have bruises on me (acutally it's from bumping into things, all the time).

    I wondered if you would be able to leave your children and grandchildren. You're so lucky to have them all so close to you. I could never leave Edmonton because of Katie. I wouldn't leave her alone to face the world. I guess that's my job, guarding her from the world, even now, and will be until I die. Now I've made myself cry. Dammit!

    Have a good day Mary.

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    1. I bump into things too. Rushing, rushing, rushing. Always rushing blindly.
      I think that at this point, August is absolutely comfortable with his pink shoes and shirts and backpack. He likes what he likes and he is fine with that. And I seriously doubt that he even notices what other kids wear. His mind just does not work like that.
      You know I wouldn't/couldn't leave my babies. I mean, sure, for a few weeks at a time but not permanently. I know how lucky I am. And no, you can never leave Katie. I understand that.
      I'm sorry you made yourself cry. Damn. Being a mother is so hard. And grandmother, as you know better than anyone.

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  14. Those anole photos are hilarious. They're such nimble little things. Do you think he wants to get outside, or is he happy indoors?

    It's so great how many young people these days are better at being themselves and avoiding the categorizing and stereotyping that went on in our generation. I mean, it still happens, but in general there's an openness to individuality now. It's beautiful to see.

    Even though you couldn't buy that particular property in Roseland, I wonder if you should keep an eye out for something similar nearby? Sounds like you're thinking that too...I wish I lived somewhere where I could garden with tropical plants. I miss that kind of gardening.

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    1. I think the little lizard is happy in the house as long as it can find water. There was one in the bathroom for a few days and I know it didn't get thirsty. Could be the same one. And Lord knows there's always a stray bug or two to eat.
      I think (hope and pray) that young people are indeed becoming more open to being who they are, even if that is different. And accepting of others. Things really have changed a lot in that regard. Not enough! Not nearly enough. But it is happening.
      I have looked and looked for property down there and it is rare to find anything on the river, especially anything that would be at all affordable. But I won't give up looking.
      Wouldn't you LOVE to grow mangos?

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.