Saturday, July 4, 2009

Be Careful With The Fireworks And Believe Me- The Cops Are Looking To Arrest Drunk Drivers





Happy Fourth of July, y'all. And do you have all your plans in order? Are you going to be grilling various vile, delicious meat products? Watching someone set off fireworks? Standing in your driveway with a sparkler? Drinking beer from an ice chest? Eating watermelon or making a cake with blue berries and strawberries on it? Wearing a Lady Liberty plastic head thingee? Kayaking, swimming, fishing, going to the beach, making a Jello mold? Listening to some country music guy singing about the good ol' US of A and crying when he sings, "I'm proud to be an American because blahdeblahdeblah"?

Well, good for you.

As I have said so many times before, I have neither the religion gene or the patriotism gene. I did nothing to get born here and if my mother had just been a few miles south (I was born in El Paso) crossing an imaginary border (yes, I have done LSD, why do you ask?) to have me, I would have been celebrating Cinco de Mayo rather than Fourth of July and I like tamales better than I like hamburgers so none of it makes much sense to me.

I didn't do a damn thing to create independence from Britain, nor do I well up when I hear the Star Spangled Banner. When I am in a situation where I am forced to say the Pledge Of Allegiance, (and I avoid those situations, believe me)- I always follow the last words- with liberty and justice for all with the words, "We wish."

No, no, no. I am not a Communist. Well, I don't know. Maybe I am but that's not the point. The point is- I am not what you'd call patriotic although when Obama got elected I sort of had an inkling of what it feels like to be proud of your country. Really. I did.

I suppose besides not having the gene, part of my problem is that my formative years were spent watching my government send young, mostly poor men off to Viet Nam to be slaughtered and to slaughter innocent women, children, and ancient old people for no apparent reason. Also, there was that whole Kent State thing and the Chicago Democratic convention where even Dan Rather got beaten up by the cops. And oh yes, Richard M. Nixon and Ronald Reagan and Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. About. G.W. Bush. who got elected by the really brilliant citizens of this great country not ONCE but TWICE.

See- I like to have a reason to believe my country is great and all the jingoism and Uncle Sams dancing around in the world doesn't do it for me and neither does us being in Iraq or in Afganistan.

Although I do love the blues and jazz, well, jazz is jazz and I totally respect it.

So here's what I do love about America:

-B.B. King. King of the Blues. He's my daddy. You don't think so? Prove he's not. Go ahead.

-Mark Twain. No explanation necessary.

-NPR.

-Levis and other denim products. Not with that fucking spandex in them, either. That is NOT American, okay?

-Our bathrooms. Our bathrooms rock. So does our toilet paper.

-Macintosh computers. I don't care where they're made, Steve Jobs is American. I think. Although that Waz guy does not have a very American name, I think he is too.

-The First Family. I love every one of them. Even the dog. Whatever it's name is.

-The Band. Okay, half of them are dead and some of them were Canadian but I still love them.

-Ice. Nothing says I Am American like a love for lots of ice in our drinks and if that is true, then I am as American as anyone on earth.

Okay. That about wraps it up for me.

Mr. Moon and I will be spending the day at home. I have venison in the crockpot. I am going to work in the yard. I may drink beer. I wish we had a kiddie pool to fill up and get in naked but we don't.

Oh- after watching the video above, I'll add the Hammond B3 Organ to my list of things I love about America. Oh hell, I'll throw in Fender AND Gibson guitars. And Martins. Why not?

We got some great stuff here in this country. We really do. And I know it.

Enjoy celebrating all of it that you love if you are, in fact, in this country.

And if you're reading this from another country, believe me when I say that I think your country is probably great too and if you let me know when you celebrate your country's greatness, I'll celebrate it with you.

And if you're a NATIVE American, let me just say, "Forgive us."

Love....Ms. Moon

18 comments:

  1. Saying hello here.

    Ketchup. Nothing says America like this tasty product as well. And, peanut butter. Are you a fan? I don't like the peanut butter so much, but I do eat it sometimes. Oh, and Cheez-its. I love those and there's whole grain ones now, even better!

    I hope you enjoy your weekend! :)

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  2. Dude. How could you forget Marshmallow fluff?

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  3. Nicol- Hello to you! Yes, I love ketchup and peanut butter and also Cheez-its. I was just saying to my kids the other day how much I love Cheez-its. Although I never eat them because I cannot stop. I hope you enjoy your weekend, too!

    Aunt Becky- Can you believe I do not think I have ever actually had any marshmallow fluff? I have certainly never bought it. But I will gladly celebrate its existence.

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  4. I think it's really funny when people who have lived here all their lives claim they have not an inkling of patriotism in them.

    I guess it really is true that people who were born and raised here don't realize how grateful they should be...

    Believe me. My parents are from a different country (where a lot of people DID want communism) and we are soooo lucky and proud to be Americans now....Because they have seen, politics-wise, just how much more freedom there is here.

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  5. Yeah, I'm with ya on all that. See, trouble is, our wee small children got a whiff of fireworks early on and they've never been the same. So, for us, it's fireworks day. And that's that. I mean, how many times can you get all broken up over Lee Greenwood belting out his song?

    WV: spies

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  6. Any time I get a day off, it's a holiday in my book I'm hoping for some beer and brats later.

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  7. Svet- I'm sure you're right. I should be more patriotic. But like I said- what did I do to get born here? Nothing. People like your parents have a good reason to be proud- they were in a place where they were not free and made it to a place they could find what they were seeking. I am in awe of that. BUT, this country is NOT perfect and I do not, for one second, believe it's the greatest country on earth. Historically, we're barely old enough to be called a country. There is a lot of good here. A LOT. But it is far from perfect and our founders had ideals which we mouth but do not really follow. There is MUCH injustice in this country. And that I do not celebrate. I think there is a great possibility that injustices will fall away, but at this point, they seem only sometimes to grow worse. We do not give the same freedoms to all who live here and that, to me, seems to be the very bottom line of whether or not this country is following the dreams on which it was built with sweat and blood.

    Ms. Trouble- Ah, fireworks are lovely. I just don't love them enough to go somewhere to see them. That verification word does bother me, though.

    Rachel- Yeah, girl. Celebrate!

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  8. I don't have it either. It's pretty much just another saturday around here. But I may force myself to drink beer anyway :)

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  9. everything, yes! hammond B3! but the Band? no, that might not be you communist canadian lover...hold on, the cop is axing me for my license...
    PUnch it BabyMama! I'm holdin' too!

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  10. SJ- Oh. Me too.

    Magnum- Do they still say that? Holding? What's a "lid"?

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  11. Good post. I don't have the patriot gene either. And honestly, I think that the rich folks who came here just ended up recreating the much of the same climate and many of the same issues that drove them (and others)away from England in the first place Ugh. Let's not even get started on the Natives. So not proud of how they got treated... but you know, nobody wants to really talk about that stuff. It's a downer.

    Anywho, Harley and I had a great day as we do most Saturdays. We went to Tom Brown and threw a little frisbe, made a new friend, went to Chickfile to play in air conditioning for a while, did Publix, saw Lilly and that was our day. We actually meant to come over later, but it didn't happen. Maybe tomorrow.
    xo pf ps The heat wasn't so Gawd awful today was it?

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  12. ICE!!!
    An American without ice is a disaster waiting to happen! More so in Florida in the summer, I'm sure.

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  13. Amen to ALL of that! I love that you expressed it -- and I admit to all the same sentiments. Including a love of The Band.

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  14. Ms. Fleur- No. The heat was not the Heat of The Destroyer. More just like The Heat of The Barely Tolerable. Glad you and the Harley had a good day.

    Ms. Lucy- Yes. You are right. One day I plan on owning my own industrial ice-machine. I really do.

    Elizabeth- And are we kindred spirits, too?

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  15. when i get the blahs i go spend some time at the church of saint mattress, or at lady of my loveseat if i feel like 'praying' with the television on.

    joy was spot on, three sentences and i am hooked!


    xxmiss alaineusxx

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  16. Miss Alaineas- Welcome, welcome and thank-you for visiting and please come by again! I am looking forward to getting to know you.

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  17. I agree with you on the ice, the bathrooms, and the first family. But you are WRONG about the stretchy genes. That shit is not only uber-america, it might be wonderful enough to make me believe in a god. I don't know how people got on without it!

    I didn't get the patriotic gene either, but I love me some fireworks!!

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  18. Make that stretchy jeans. Ha!

    Stretchy genes is an interesting thought though.

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