Saturday, February 14, 2009

And This Is How We Really Look

Or at least how we looked last night.

I found an outfit. It wasn't bad and it showed off my legs which let me tell you something you may not know- I have great legs! Really, I am not joking. Especially when they are encased in black stockings, which they were.
I may be old and Jesus, I show it, but my legs will be the last to go.

So we got ready and we went to Kool Beanz and we waited and waited and waited and finally we got our seats at the bar and we ate oysters and shrimp and tuna and it was a Mermaid's Feast if there ever was one.

And then, instead of going home and falling asleep which is what we would normally do, we started our Billiard Hall research.

Oh Jeez.

I realized several things during this research:
1. Billiard Halls are not my favorite places.
2. Amazingly, other people seem to like Billiard Halls a lot.
3. When we open one, there will be STRANGERS THERE. People I do not know. Yes, I should have realized this already but really, I'm dense. Did I think I know enough beer drinkers to support a bar? Well. Maybe.
4. I suck, suck, SUCK at pool.
5. Internet Juke Boxes are weird.

And last but not least:

6. Doing Billiard Hall research is not a very romantic date.

"Now make sure you check the ladies' room. I'll check the men's."
Uh-huh. Okay.
Why did I bother to wear stockings?

A barely-over-the-age-of-twenty-one year-old gal stopped Mr. Moon as we were leaving one place to ask him the question EVERYONE ASKS HIM which is, "How tall are you?" This is almost always asked by women who widen their eyes and cock their heads in the most flirtatious way you can imagine whether they are eighteen or eighty-seven. Trust me on this. I've seen it happen at least four hundred times.

"Six-ten" he always says and they sigh and flutter their eyelashes. I stand there like a five-foot-four potted cactus with a patient, bemused expression on my face.

Anyway, that girl insisted, I mean insisted that we were not leaving that bar without her buying us a shot of tequila! I mean it! That was the feistiest twenty-two year old girl I ever met and I wasn't arguing with her. We drank our tequila like the good little boy and girl we were. Whoop-ay-ai, motherfuckers! I'd already been tipsy enough to tell the bartender there that his mama must really love his dimples. Hell, I probably batted my own eyes.
Oh boy. Maybe Mr. Moon was right and I shouldn't tend bar although you can bet the ranch I won't be drinking if I do.

In my defense I will say that I'm sure that boy's mama does love his dimples.

We finally ended our rounds at Halligan's at approximately 1 a.m. This is where we actually shot a game of pool and I realized just how intensely bad at pool I am.

Anyway, that was that, and I'm sure that before the this evening is over I'll be enjoying the little Valentine's Day gift that Mr. Moon brought home last night. Here's what he brought me:
Veggie chips.
Bean dip.
Wasabi peas.
And oh yes, some Kona Coffee.

Who says romance is dead?

Me. Maybe. Possibly.

But still, it's been a nice day and I have some venison backstrap in the crockpot with spices and onions and apples and I hope it's good.
I'm still wearing my silver necklace because it's mine and I can.

And let me ask you something- What do you look for in a Billiard Hall/Sports Bar? Tell me, please. Tables, yes of course. We will not be seving hard liquor. We will be making sandwiches. We might have a few video games. We might, occasionally, have a bit of musical entertainment. An older lady wearing purple eye-shadow may or may not be serving drinks and making sandwiches. We will not have an internet jukebox if I have anything to say about it.

We need a name. So far we're thinking of a few including Shoot The Moon, Big Shots, Bank Shot, and my favorite, but the one Mr. Moon will not even consider- The Bad Girls Pool Hall.
Suggestions, please.

Because really, I can't go out and research the Billiard Halls myself anymore. I can't stay up that late, I can't drink a beer at every bar. And forget the tequila.
Please. Really. I insist.

And oh yes. A very happy Valentine's Day to your and yours and if yours is you and you alone, I have this to say: Buy yourself a gift. Don't let it be Wasabi peas. Eat ALL the chocolate. Because you can.

And bless our hearts, okay? Again, I insist.

16 comments:

  1. 6'10"??? Holy moly! And who doesn't love dimples on a boy? They're just so adorable! I'm glad y'all had a good time. I'll think on the names and get back to ya. Is there going to be any sort of theme?

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  2. Ms. Ginger- Um. No theme. Unless, as my son, DownTown Guy says, "This is not an Irish pub" is a theme. Not that we have anything against our forebearers and their pubs. But there are already plenty of those.
    And yes, Mr. Moon is bizarrely tall. But still somehow cute.

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  4. That was my deleted comment above--whoops!

    I am on my own tonight -and can't help but be a little bit sad about that. But I know that's ridiculous so I'm cracking a beer and trying to forget about it :)

    Speaking of beer--I vote for something with "moon" in it. Just my 2 cents. Howl at the Moon? Or something. Sounds like a fun place!

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  5. I once visited an establishment named 'the Blue Moon.' You were not only invited but encouraged to hang your bra on the chandelier when you left. That chadelier is a testament to the many shapes and sizes of patrons...
    Not sure if you're going for that kind of establishment, but I must say I had a very good time!

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  6. SJ- Being by yourself on Valentines is hardly the worst way to spend it. At least you like the company you're in. Right?
    Yes. We've totally been throwing the Moon thing around in the name ideas.

    Rachel- We used to go to a bar where the recently divorced would come in and put their wedding bands on the antlers of a deer head on the wall. I like the bra on the chandelier idea much better. Blue Moon is a great name but would the beer people sue us?
    BTW- I love Blue Moon beer.

    Learner- Thank-you, honey.

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  7. How about 'Moon Shot' for the name?
    I don't ordinarilly go to pool/billiards halls, if I did it would be to look for someone who looks like Paul Newman, preferably as he was in 'The Hustler,' but at this point, I'd even accept him as he was years later in 'The Color of Money.'
    Please have a man like him around, if you want my business.

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  8. MOB- We thought about Moon Shot but were afraid people would come in expecting to find tequila or other alcoholic beverages you can drink in shots.
    Paul Newman, huh? Will Mr. Moon do, do you think?

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  9. Enough tables, cheap beer and good music in the jukebox. Meaning have your counterculture kids pick it. You'll be the place to be! Man I wish I lived closer!
    :D

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  10. Just to clarify on the jukebox thing- don't let your kids pick them all. You should get your Springsteen!!! Oh an maybe some crazy good stuff from that Southern music CD. DAMN I wish I lived closer! I did like pool... It made me feel tough :)

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  11. QuietGirl- Funny. My son is DJ-ing at a bar tonight. It's advertised as Effed Up Punk Nite 4: Eff Love.
    And one of my kids plays bluegrass. And we all love the songs that made me happy as a child. We WILL have a good jukebox.

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  12. And QuietGirl- I wish you lived closer, too.

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  13. And Learner! You're precious and make ME smile.

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  14. Folks I talked to Sunday night like Moon Room.

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  15. 6'10" is giant! How nice for you! I don't know what it is about a really tall man that is so appealing.

    And I see that baldish head now. It does look awfully sort, but I think he's rockin it.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.