Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Do We Love Her Or Do We Hate Her?


All right. There are those of you who might say, "Uh, Ms. Moon, why are writing about celebrities these days? Have you no life of your own?"

And I would point out that I have only RARELY written about celebrities and that post about Angelina Jolie hardly counted at all because let's face it, it was really about the whole totemic zeitgeist of motherhood and goddess worship and stuff like that. It wasn't really about Angelina.
You got that, right?

So yes, one of my many, many despicable traits is that I sometimes check out a few things online that might not strictly have anything to do with anything that matters in this entire universe but sometimes, ya hit gold.

You see that woman in that picture? You know who that is? That is Helen Mirren and she is almost 63-years old and supposedly, that is her real and actual body that she got not through surgery or through Photoshop or even a head transplant! No! She got it through working out at a gym! Or, as the article says, "with the only work to transform her toned body having been carried out during gruelling hours in the gym."

Okay. So they spelled "grueling" wrong. Big deal. If that's Helen Mirren's real body, I am completely and utterly in awe.

I am also sort of pissed because what if she DID achieve that enviable muscle tone, those beautiful abs by dint of nothing but hard work and diet? Doesn't this mean that anyone can achieve the same?

Damn.

Of course, Ms. Mirren has never had a child which I suspect has more than a little to do with that perfect belly of hers. No stretch marks, no...okay. I just don't even want to talk about the ravages of pregnancy today. Really. I don't.

And I'm not going to.

But I will say that honestly, on the one hand I am just so proud that a human of my species can have such a fine looking body at the age of 63 and on the other hand, I am wailing with despair because really- how HIGH can this bar be pushed? It's comforting to realize that after a certain age no one expects you to show up in a bikini looking like....
That.

Until now.

I suppose my ambivalence here can be summed up best by saying Helen Mirren is awe-full.

And I mean that in the very, very most loving and respectful way.

22 comments:

  1. Two words: Tina Turner. Four more: sixty-nine years old.

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  2. Okay. BUT, first off, Tina Turner is not actually human. Were you not aware of this?
    Secondly- where's the picture of Ms. T. in a bikini? Huh?
    That's all I'm asking.

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  3. Wow, that's really amazing. I wonder how many hours she has to spend at the gym a day? I have one word for you and that word would be "genetics."

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  4. Mama! 63-year olds do not have bodies like that. This is where we use the phrase "Exception that proves the rule". Helen Mirrin is the exception, not the example. Now go look at pictures of Jack Nicolson.

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  5. Bikini? Well, no, but as far as I can tell she would rather go naked than cover those long, long legs. Seriously, Tina Turner never fails to amaze me.

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  6. OOOO! Or better yet, look at Kathleen Turner. She is exactly your age and you are waaaaaay cuter and sexier.

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  7. You are ALL correct.
    But tell me this- why is it that Jack Nicholson is still sort of sexy? Okay, he's very sexy.
    Or is that just me and a memory?

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  8. yeah I agree with Nicol. She totally won the genetic lottery there.

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  9. No, you're right. Jack IS sexy. Except when I think about him in The Shining.

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  10. Jack Nickolson never was and never will be sexy (IMHO).
    And, damn! Helen Mirren really did deserve that Oscar for The Queen - it must be so hard to act like a frump when you're hiding a body like that under matronly clothes, and probably some padding, too!!

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  11. MOB- I agree with you about Ms. Mirren but I have always thought that Jack was hot. I have no idea why. Because he's Jack, I guess.

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  12. Despite changing my user name away from a rainy and cloudy description, I did go back to check out your first blog - and lo and behold! Who should appear in the first paragraph but Ms. Turner herself. Coincidence?? Not a chance =)

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  13. SJ- what? Which post? Tina? I wrote about Tina?
    I thought I wrote about the drought in my first post. Guide me to Tina!

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  14. Okay. I found it. That was not my first post, but it was about rain too.
    Funny. I had forgotten that.

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  15. Ha! How funny - I just went to the 2007 entries, clicked, scrolled all the way to the bottom, saw something about a storm and settled there in assumption it was the original post :)

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  16. I can see how you'd make that assumption. I seem to write about the weather a lot. The weather is THE default human conversational topic, don't you think?

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  17. I do - and here in Kentucky, we also really enjoy talking about the humidity. As though the 90 degree temps by themselves would add no misery whatsoever...

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  18. Yes, S. J.- it really IS the heat AND humidity, right?

    Sally- I love her too. How can I not? Good Lord.

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  19. While she might be attractive in a bikini, how much time and energy has she wasted on achieving that? How much has she had to give up to attain that? We all choose our paths - and I prefer to enjoy my life (and it's riches) and look horrid in anything other than baggy clothes. ;-)

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  20. My new blog...hope you stop by.

    Tracy

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  21. Well, Brick, you have a point but it looks like she's enjoying the riches of life in a big way. Plus, she looks so damn HEALTHY! You can't eat crap and look like that and she's obviously exercising. I don't know if all of that's a complete waste of time.
    And I'm heading to Griz right now.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.