They lie, they lie, they LIE! Look at the thawing instructions on that turkey. Does it not say that a thirteen to sixteen pound turkey will thaw in the refrigerator in 3-4 days? That turkey weighs 13.51 pounds and it has been in a refrigerator since last Wednesday which means it's been six days since the supposed thawing process began and by god that bird is still mostly frozen. And no, it's not the refrigerator. It is set at a normal temperature. This happens every year. Every year of my life it has happened.
Three to four days my ass.
I retrieved it from the garage this afternoon because I wanted to start the dry brine. Maybe. But I don't think you can dry brine a damn block of turkey ice. I'll leave it out on the counter until I go to bed although that is against all the safety rules (bite me) and see how it's going tomorrow.
I'd say I'm sorry I'm being so profane tonight but I'm not sorry and I'd rather be profane than lie. I'm not sure why the cusses are coming out so abundantly but they are. Besides, I've been fairly mild in my language lately and I don't want to lose my abilities in that area.
Lily called me this morning. God bless her, the first thing she said is, "This is not an emergency!" Phew. She knows me.
The not-emergency was that their main refrigerator is broken and they don't have an ice maker hooked up and I think something else may be broken but I'm sure the washer is and she says there's laundry all over the place and maybe, just maybe, having Thanksgiving at her house isn't the best idea this year and (tiny voice) would I mind if we moved it here?
I do believe this has happened before. And you know what? This house was made to be a family-gathering house and that's all there is to it so of course I don't mind although I did set a few guidelines, mostly involving people baking their casseroles before they get here because that last hour oven-shuffle situation drives me nuts. And the really good news is that now I don't have to transport all the stuff I'm making over to Lily and Lauren's house.
All I really have to do that I wouldn't be doing anyway is to clear the spaces we'll need to use like kitchen counters and tables. I'll just throw all that stuff in a closet and it'll be groovy. And to warn people where not to walk because they'll fall through the floor.
Sigh.
I did what I do believe was my final shopping (for Thanksgiving, at least) today and I have to say that Costco was far, far less crowded and crazy than it was a week ago. I have no idea why. All I needed there was some smoked salmon and butter and some vegetable Better Than Bouillon. I know I've mentioned the Better Than Bouillon products before but if you've forgotten, this shit is the best. Never buy a carton of chicken stock or beef stock or veggie stock again. Of course I still make my own stock for a lot of things but adding the BTB to it just brings it all to a much higher level.
I highly recommend this product and of course, as always, I am not making a penny off of this recommendation.
Sigh. I wish.
I also went to Publix for a few last-minute items and that wasn't very stressful either. So...YAY!
After I got home and before I even unloaded the groceries, I cleaned out the refrigerator for much-needed space. I didn't clean it, I just cleaned out the stuff you don't throw out because, well, gee, maybe it's still good. It smells okay. It looks okay. There is a slight chance, at least, that we'll eat it. If we were starving we would eat it. Right?
I was merciless. Begone, you poor containers of if not mysterious than at least questionable leftovers and jars with 1/4 inch of something in them.
And now I have plenty of room for all the things. Stuffing and turkey and cranberry relish and pies and angel biscuit dough.
And one more pecan pie, this one pure and unsullied by chocolate.
I got past whatever was holding me back yesterday and cranked out what I think will be a fine pie. If I were a true southern lady cook, I would have arranged those pecans in a pleasing pattern but I guess I'm not because I didn't. I did, however, turn most of them right side up. Not all. But enough to show I care.
That's a picture of the garden right now. I need to get in there and clear out the dead marigolds and basils. We may get rain tomorrow and I know that every creature and plant is hoping for that to be so. I just heard some frogs croaking and I want to believe they know something the rest of us don't.
Meanwhile...
Really, Maurice? The old, soft jeans I understand but is it really that comfortable to cuddle up to a pincushion?
And on top of the scissors?
I guess it is.
I guess it is.
Love...Ms. Moon
P.S. I dropped by May's work today because I just really, really needed to hug her. I am so glad I did. It was heaven and she is an angel.
Forty plus years ago, we drove from Coastal Texas to Chicago in extreme cold - it was in the teens here for several days and was -25F in Chicago. The girls were seven and nine and did a lot of bickering along the way as was their wont. We converged, exhausted, on my sister-in-law’s apartment along with my mother-in-law, two women who hated to cook and who had decided I was cooking Christmas dinner in a tiny kitchen equipped primarily with take out menus from every local restaurant. On Christmas Eve my husband and his mother walked to a nearby grocery store and returned with a turkey in the 18 pound range that was FROZEN SOLID. I spent many hours in the bathroom tending to the turkey thawing in the tub. The only other thing I remember about that unpleasant occasion (do I bear a grudge? Yes, yes I do) is mashing potatoes by first ricing them using a colander. This year all I have to do is set a lovely table and preside; age has its privileges. Margaret, who wishes you happy thawing.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure my little Cornish game hen will be okay to cook tomorrow..
ReplyDeleteI feel your turkey pain. I have no idea what the secret is. I checked mine today and decided that tomorrow it sits in the sink until the sucker loosens up. Mine is only about six pounds and this is day two. I don’t even eat turkey.
ReplyDeleteI do love the Better Than boullion you mentioned. For some reason, i make a lot of gravy and that is certainly the best.
Beautiful pie! I’ve never attempted a pecan pie. I go with pumpkin or apple. Tomorrow, it will be apple.
Oh yes, I too am a big believer in keeping up one's abilities in the profanity department. Personally, I practice every single day with as wide a variety of swear words as I can. I am very dedicated, no matter what other demands on my time there may be.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving has a history of cussing cooks who’d like to be doing something else. And a big YES about this all the companies who lie about the # of days it really takes for a frozen turkey to defrost. If you don’t know anyone personally who has died from leaving a turkey overnight on the counter, that’s your sign to go right ahead. Gobble
ReplyDeleteGobble from Carol in Atlanta.💗🦃🦃🦃
It's so true about defrosting turkeys, it always takes at least twice as long to thaw them out. Your pecan pie looks so good. Have I told you how much I love pecan pie? Maybe not.
ReplyDeleteAs Debra said, keeping up your swearing abilities should be a fucking priority:)
Sending hugs and don't let the turkey grind you down. Fuck I'm tired. I'm not even making sense.
Pleased to hear some decent swears! Although yours are quite mild today. Not a single mother fucker do I see.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that family dinner at your house is just the right thing to do. It is as it ought to be. At least you do not have to make every bit of the dinner- delegate, I am a fan. I have done that this year and it cut down my anxiety over timing bigly!Tomorrow I brine and hope the bird is thawed! ALL of the kids will be here! Even the one coming from the east coast and the one coming from surgery! It will be grand.Have a great thanksgiving, Miss Mary, I will drink to you! Cheers!
We are prepping for Thanksgiving too & feel your pain with defrosting the turkey haha. Such a pain! Hope you have a wonderful holiday!
ReplyDelete