Sunday, August 30, 2026

Gather 'Round, My Sweeties. It's Story Time


This is a Turk's Cap that Ellen Abbott sent me. Ellen and I have traded recipes and seeds and plant cuttings for quite awhile now. Although in some ways, Ellen and I are quite different, in others, we are much the same. I think the main difference is that she's an artist and spent her entire adult life as a working artist whereas I am, was... a lot of different stuff that didn't involve art although as I look back, I have always been a writer if by that you mean a person who writes. Also, she lives in Texas whereas I live in North Florida but there again, there are quite a few commonalities. We both live near the Gulf of Mexico, just on different sides, and our weather is much the same. So are the plants we can grow. 
And, by the way, I was born in El Paso, Texas. My father was in the Army I guess, and I was born in a quonset hut hospital, I do believe. In fact, I believe that particular hospital was an Air Force facility because there was something going around the Army hospital or perhaps there was another reason but the fact remains- I was born in Texas. 
I do not remember a thing about it. I think my parents moved when I was still a baby. My brother, who is two and a half years younger than I am, was born in Lebanon, Tennessee. I believe that had something to do with my father studying law but I can't swear it. Point being, I can hardly claim Texas as a big influence on me but I have always wondered if perhaps that didn't have something to do with my affinity for Mexico. 
So the Turk's Cap is part of the hibiscus, okra, Rose of Sharon, swamp mallow family. There are many more but those are a few. The flower looks very much like a hibiscus which never opens, but stays folded in on itself.


I grew up around Turk's Caps in Roseland where they were a popular and prolific yard plant. That variety though, had a longer bloom. It looked like this.


As a child, those things pissed me off. Why the hell wouldn't the flowers open? I was told by those who knew that opening was not the Turk's Cap way. 

But I love Ellen's Turk's Cap and this fall or winter I am going to take it out of its pot and plant it in the yard because I think it'll do just fine. It is a strong and hardy plant. 

I made what is probably a big mistake last week when I decided to cut the neck out of my beautiful "Is He Dead Yet?" shirt. I cannot stand a shirt that strangles me and that one did. I wanted to make a sort of decorative embroidered hem on the neckline that I'd cut and I am having one hell of a time with this project. I've never been an excellent embroider but not a really bad one either. 
I taught myself to do it with a small blue booklet I bought somewhere in Denver. I wanted to embroider a blue workshirt, as one does, for the boy back home who had broken my heart. So I sat on the floor of my dorm room and listened to Joni Mitchell's "Blue" (need I say more?) and I embroidered the hell out of that shirt and it was beautiful. 
This, I think, was my first major bout of depression. And although it sounds so funny, it really wasn't. I was eighteen, in a cold place with people who all seemed to be from New York which fascinated me but also made me feel like a bumbling, stumbling yee-haw from the south. They mocked my accent. They had all gone to prep school and I, bumpkin that I was, did not even know what a prep school was. 
"Do southerners really like watermelon?" they would ask. 
"Do southerners really like fried chicken?" they queried me. 
I got a tiny taste of what Black folks went through, still go through, but of course not the same. Not the same at all. 
I did give the shirt to that boyfriend and I am still rather shocked and very embarrassed to realize that he gave it to his new girlfriend. 
I swear to god. He did. 
Well. That was a story. 

Anyway, my needlework skills are diminishing by the moment. My hands go numb, especially the left one which is forever fucked due to breaking it by falling off a roof while trying to reroof a garage when I was seventeen with that same boyfriend. 
Sigh. 
And I look up different videos of stitches that would work for an interesting hem-trim and I'm just not capable of following them very well. These are just videos of people doing the stitches, not actually instructing you on how to do the stitches and y'all- my brain function is dimishing. That's all there is to it. 
So I thread my needle, which is an entire process in and of itself, and I attempt to copy the stitch I've decided to use and okay, it looks fine here and there but there are also places where it looks like an insane and inept four-year old took over and I just hate this. 
But it is what it is. 
So I worked on that for some time today, not even watching "The Bear" because that is too distracting, but sitting on the back porch where the light is very good and this is going to reach a point where I have to just say say, "Good enough!" 
I remember back in the eighties when ripped and cut t-shirts were all the thing and my friend Julianne and I would dye white t-shirts and then cut them up and tie them in very interesting and varied ways. We joked about starting a business, and calling it "Tough Titties." That was mainly because you couldn't really wear a bra with these creations of ours and also because we loved the phrase "tough titties" and I still do. Titties are why our species has survived and why we are called mammals. 

And there you go. 

I'm making a soup from the bones and what meat was left on them from the roast chicken I made last week. We had a meal of it just out of the oven and then another meal of chicken enchiladas made from some of the meat and tonight we're having the soup. I've made another loaf of bread, this one all about the protein with no real regard to the fiber. Greek yogurt and eggs, flour, yeast, and a little honey. Salt. Water. 
We shall return to our regularly scheduled baking very soon. But for now- what the hell? 

Spicebush Swallowtail if you believe google. 

Love...Ms. Moon

26 comments:

  1. That butterfly is insane- and by insane I mean astonishing! Great shot, Miss, with your excellent camera phone and vision!
    threading a needle, what a feat! If you can do that then you can do anything, I reckon. Sewing has become interesting as my vision gets more wonky. I LOVE 'Tough titties" I would buy anything with that label.
    Your Turk's Cap looks like Christmas- vibrant. Your phone does register color nicely. Mine is shite!

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    1. I have noticed that one thing the camera on this new phone does better than my old one is that it does not eat reds. You are right- it does give a more accurate representation of color.
      I bought two needle threaders! Both work on the same principle as those old sort of aluminum foil ones that came with sewing kits. One is so fancy it has a LIGHT. A teeny light.

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  2. The Turk's Cap is wonderfully red and ought to look great planted in the ground where it can spread and make a good display.
    I do not sew so whatever your skillset is it has to be better than mine. If I get dissatisfied with something (a project) I toss it out and start anew. i have no time for agonizing over something that displeases.
    Your homemade soup with freshly baked bread sounds great.

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    1. I think it will mostly grow up but I'm not sure of that.
      I think I have finally figured out the answer to my embroidery problem and it did involve ripping out everyt

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    2. Sorry. I must have hit the wrong key. Anyway, I ripped out everything I'd done and started again. I am much happier.
      Soup and bread were pretty good.

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  3. The Turk's Caps are so pretty, such a luscious red. I've never seen them before. I'm sure they'd never live here in Missouri, at least not outside.

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  4. That boyfriend sounds like a real jerk. As painful as it was at the time, I'm happy for you that you moved on from him. We sure did have to kiss a few toads in our time to find our Prince Charming, didn't we?!
    Thank you for the high-protein bread suggestion...I'll be trying this real soon. Sounds like a solution to getting more protein at my breakfast meal.
    Angie D

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    1. The boyfriend really did have some pretty serious mental issues but I was not aware of them for almost a year before I began to realize that. For awhile he was the perfect boyfriend in many ways.
      A little Greek yogurt and a few eggs can't hurt, right?

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  5. My ex-the-second hates being strangled by clothes too and has ripped out the neck of every t-shirt he owns, but then just leaves them ragged and loose. I was never much good at needlework, I could stitch a passable section and it looked good from the front but I never did work out how to properly "finish" the backside of anything so it would as good as the front. i know that is possible because all the stitchery books say so, but I do wonder about the zillions of framed tapestries in the world. Are they framed so no one can see the mess that is the back of the work?
    Anyway, I did learn to sew clothes and made things for the daughters and even myself a few times, but now I have the same "falling asleep" fingers as many our age do.

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    1. My feeling is that since whatever happens on the inside of the garment has no business being viewed by anyone so who cares what it looks like?
      I used to love sewing for my kids and myself. And then Maggie and August. Remember when August wanted to wear dresses like Maggie so I made him some?
      Sigh.

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  6. Tough Titties does sound like a great brand! Needlework has always been hard for me, especially with shaky fingers now. That boyfriend should have been given a definite karmic take-down. It is bound to happen. I've never taken off the neck of a shirt, but the washers have ruined a few for me...and I wear them as night-shirts now.

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    1. The boyfriend has not had great fortune follow him in his life. Last I heard he'd been in jail. He was raised in a good family. Loving, attentive mother, sweet father but then again- you never know what goes on in a house unless you live there. Or maybe he just had a mean streak.
      This neck-cutting thing was a lot easier when no one cared about a finished edge on ripped and cut T-shirts.

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  7. I have seen the turks caps and just assumed they were hibiscuses. Now I know what they are. The butterfly doesn't even look real, he is so amazing. That was a great shot of him, or her? I knit and crochet and do cross stitch and embroidery, but I've never attempted it on a t-shirt. The knit is hard to sew on.

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    1. They should call Turk's Caps Frustrated Hibiscus.
      I have no idea how to tell the sex of a butterfly. Good thing I'm not one, right?
      Oh, I've loved needlework of many kinds my entire life but I've never gotten very good at any of them. But I have received pleasure, just by doing.

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  8. The Turk’s Cap is stunning. I’d probably have had the same frustration with it not opening. I’d love to see your T-shirt with its stitching. I love Tough Titties (as a name of your company). I don’t know if I have an opinion on tough titties in general. The butterfly is a beauty. Is it just the angle or did it have a bite taken out of it?

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    1. I can only think that really tough titties must not be entirely natural. In general, bosoms are rather notoriously on the soft side.
      I think the butterfly did indeed have a part of a wing missing. I see that a lot and I'm not sure whether it's due to a bite or just tearing their wings on something like a rose thorn. Is that possible? They are so fragile. And yet, strong enough to fly a butterfly around.

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  9. You will have to show us your embroidered shirt when you are finished.
    Your photos are so lovely, Mary!

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    1. I'm doing a different stitch and if it comes out all right, I'll share.

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  10. I hate t-shirts that feel like they're cutting into your neck as well and I've wondered about cutting the necks out, now I think I'll try although I don't think I'll try any embroidery on them.
    Those flowers are beautiful, as is the butterfly. I hope you had a lovely day.

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    1. I can't stand anything up around my neck. And I don't really have a neck anymore. I mean, I do but it's overlayered with folds of flesh. As I say, this is the way of my people.
      I did have a good day. Thank you, honey.

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  11. Nice shot of the butterfly. It looks like it's had some wing damage. Please show us your embroidery! (I'm now wondering if I should get an "Is He Dead Yet?" t-shirt.)

    I think my great-grandmother had turk's cap in her yard in Avon Park. She definitely had hibiscus.

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    1. Yep. Wing damage. I see this quite frequently.
      I thing you definitely should get an "Is He Dead Yet" t-shirt.
      If the embroidery turns out decently, I will share.
      Yep. I bet your great-grandmama had a turk's cap in her yard.

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  12. Your turk's cap is definitely big enough to go in the ground. I might wait til spring though to plant it. Or maybe early fall, giving it time to settle in because it will freeze to the ground if it gets cold enough but is root hardy and will come back.

    I won't even buy crew neck t-shirts anymore. Scoop neck or V neck. I can't stand having anything against my neck. And turtlenecks? Fuck no. All my old crew neck shirts have a two inch cut straight down through the neck binding. I did convert some of Jade's t-shirts to V neck. She found a video but I'm too lazy to do to mine.

    And Mary, writing is an art, so is acting, both of which you do/have done.

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    1. I think that is very wise advise about planting the turk's cap next spring. It's managing in that pot.
      Same for me- scoop or V. OR, boat-neck. Those I sort of like too.
      You converted Jade's t-shirt but not your own? Why does this not surprise me? Ellen! You are worth it! Unless you just don't care and then- so what?
      Thank you for what you said about the writing and the acting. I had forgotten that. I never think of it as an art because I was such an amateur.

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  13. I have never heard of turk's cap before, but oh what a glorious red!

    My chickens do seem to like me just fine.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.