You Can Dress Me Up But You Can't Take Me Out

 

Today I attended to business or perhaps to be more accurate, busy-ness. 

First thing this morning I got an email from the urologist's office with a link to forms for me to fill out before my appointment tomorrow. All those things that used to be written down on paper using a clipboard with a cheap, lousy ball point pen chained to the clipboard, are dead and gone. Now you spend four times as much time selecting things from preset dropdown menus and taking pictures of your insurance card (front and back) and driver's license and posting them on the form. I felt like a technological genius when I figured that one out. It's really not that hard. 
But that was all a process and by the time I finished, it was lunch time so I ate some leftovers and then got dressed in an actual dress and went to town because I had shopping to do. 
I started at Costco because if I take my favorite backroads route to town, Costco is right there to turn into which is convenient. I didn't need a whole lot there today and nothing exciting happened at all and I did not see Brenda but it was okay. No one really annoyed me and I got to see a really tiny baby and that's always a sweet thing for me. 
And I may not ever have to buy Charmin Ultra Soft Toilet Paper again in my life. 

Then I went to a plant nursery. I have been desperately wanting to get a Mexican basil plant to go in the garden. Do y'all remember last year's Mexican basil I planted and it got so huge and the bees were thick on it at every hour of the day, even in the rain? I looked at one nursery a while back and they didn't have it and I called another nursery today and they didn't have any Mexican basil either. So then I looked it up because if I had to start it from seed, I definitely would, but lo and behold, I found out that Mexican basil is also called cinnamon basil and that name sounded way more familiar. So I went to the nursery I called, just to see if they had basil under the alias of cinnamon and they did! Just a few plants and I bought two. I also got two peppers and two eggplants and squash seeds. 
Now. Here's where the story gets weird. 
Sigh.
There was a beautiful couple at the nursery, choosing vegetable plants, discussing the varieties, what they needed, and so forth. I noticed them because seriously, they were gorgeous. Both of them. I'd say they were in their fifties or early sixties but perhaps they were older. They acted like a couple in retirement who were sweet to each other and paid attention to what the other said, and I was charmed by them. The man said to me something like, "It's that time of year, isn't it? Time to get plants in the ground!" and I responded with something inane. 
I can be so socially awkward. And weird.
Okay. On we go.
Have you ever found yourself doing or saying something that you know you probably shouldn't be doing or saying and you're silently screaming to yourself, Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Stop it now before they call whatever authorities it is you call to get someone taken to a facility?
Or is it just me? 
I had one of those experiences today. All right, two. I had two of those experiences today. 

When I found the basil I was looking for I was so excited that I just wanted to share with someone that I had found the basil that is obviously the plant that draws the most bees in the entire world so I turned to the couple and I said, "Okay. I know this sounds crazy, but do y'all like bees?" 
They looked a bit confused. And then the woman said, "We need them!" 
And I said, "Yes! In the garden! We need them and this type of basil attracts more bees than any plant I've ever grown."
And I went on to proselytize as surely as any Mormon on a mission, giving my testimony as to the magical bee-drawing powers of the Cinnamon/Mexican basil and at one point I said, "I'm sorry. I don't get out much, obviously." And they were all like, "No, no!" and I was like, "No, really, I don't," but you know what? They put TWO of the basils in their basket. They may have gone back later and returned them to where they'd found them but they were so kind. 
And then- (oh yes, this gets worse) I just felt absolutely compelled to tell them about rattlesnake beans with as much fervor as a snake-oil salesman pitching his product, describing how prolific and hardy and productive and delicious they are. I also told them that you have to order them online because as far as I know, no one in Tallahassee sells them because they are heirlooms. Finally, I stopped talking except for making apologies for being such a jerk and thanked them for being so kind to listen to my obvious rantings and they assured me that no, they loved hearing about the basil and the beans. 
And then, when I was standing in line to pay, the woman came up with her phone and said, "Hey pretty lady! Are these the kind of beans you mean?" and showed me a site where yes, she could order rattlesnake beans and she said she orders seed from them often. 
So. I felt better about my mouth although they really may wonder if I was smoking crack in the restroom. They're probably having a glass of wine in their very tastefully decorated, and yet very warm and welcoming home, laughing and laughing about the woman who was so enthusiastic about Mexican basil and rattlesnake beans. 
There may be eye-rolling. 
Oh well. If I am only on this earth for entertainment purposes, that is good enough for me. 

So that's today's tale of my existence on this planet. Tomorrow will be very different. Once again I shall discuss this kidney stone with my urologist and try to figure out what to do. It is still bothering me. I can feel it every second. But is this enough reason to get a procedure done that I will have to be anesthetized for and which will result in possibly weeks of pain while my body tries to pass the grit of the stone after it's blasted? Because if it's anything like last time, that shit hurts. A very whole lot and I would use the word "motherfucker" but as we all know, I am a genteel woman of the south who would never, ever profane a blog post like that. 

Y'all take care. 

Love...Ms. Moon