I Ain't Right But I'm Okay And Also, Isn't Gibson Handsome?

Gibson was slated to be in the Veteran's Day parade in downtown Tallahassee today with the marching band he's in at his school. Glen and I had planned to go but as the morning progressed, I got more and more anxious to the point that I simply could not make myself get dressed and get in the car. 
And I fucking felt like a terrible grandmother and a ridiculous person and a wimp and an asshole and just a rotten excuse for a human being. I knew damn well that if I went I would be so glad I had and that it wouldn't be a thing at all, just...get in the car, let Glen drive us to town, find Lily and Maggie and watch the parade. 
Nothing in this world to be anxious about. 
And knowing that did nothing for me except to make me feel worse because obviously, I am not right. In the sense of "She ain't right," which is what we sometimes say around here when we're talking about someone whose mind is simply, well, not right. 
Lily understood. She's the same way but Gibson is her son and just like I attended all the things when my kids were growing up, she sucks it up and attends all the things for her kids. 
This is not just a matter of, "Oh dear god, I do not want to get dressed and deal with traffic today." It's a completely different thing and if you understand this on a personal level, I wish you didn't because it sucks, and it limits life, and you can't help but feel that if you just pulled up your big girl panties and laced up your boots and put on some lipstick and walked out the door, you could simply do it and yet, some days you cannot. 
My husband went though. He represented us. Bless him. Is there anything that he's afraid of? He's not afraid of bears in the woods or being with a friend who is dying or taking on projects that seem impossible and he's not afraid of my problems, either. He knows me, he loves me. He accepts me for who I am and never says "Jesus, woman! Just put on a bra and let's go!" 
Well, he would never tell me to put on a bra but you know what I mean. 

I am still ashamed, though. I cannot lie.

**************

This, too, is a church near me. In fact, just about two blocks away or, as I always say, it would be two blocks if Lloyd had blocks which we do not. 
This church is a bit different than the others I've posted here. That's because this is the WHITE PEOPLE church. It's a Baptist church. Of course there are no laws or rules about which churches are for which communities but come on. I think you can tell. 
This church is as big as some elementary schools. 

And it looks like one too. 

I changed up my walk a little bit today by including what I so humorously call "downtown Lloyd." 
Again. If Lloyd had a downtown, I guess this area would be it. I'm finding it funny and odd that I have no problem at all walking the (admittedly short) distances I used to walk. Now. Could I walk the hilly routes and longer distances I did ten years ago? 
Not on your life. 
I'm not walking them as fast. Yet. But it's not a big deal. 

There's a little piece of road that borders my across-the-street neighbor's houses called Notre Dame which cracks me up. 
"Notre Dame" and "Lloyd" are not two names I would ever imagine in the same sentence. Sometimes, for a bit of extra distance, I walk it and back (it's a dead-end road) and there's an old house I am fascinated by. 

I've shared pictures of this house before. 

This is the kind of house that back in the day when I was a young hippie looking to move to the country and get back to the land would have had my heart racing with desire. Hell, I still feel an attraction to it. A pull.
Someone was living here up until a year or so ago but since they moved out, the house has taken on that sad, neglected look that abandoned houses take on. 

Look at this tree.

You can see it to the left of the house in the first photo of it.

I see that Scott Colom has defeated Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith to become the first Black senator elected in Mississippi since 1881. 
DAMN, Mississippi, you did it! 
I don't even have words. But I do have some tears. This is so incredibly amazing and wonderful. Is it possible that Trump has actually made America greater again? 
I suppose that we might say that for him, things have not gone according to plan. 

Hallelujah. 

Love...Ms. Moon

P.S. Mr. Moon took a very nice video of Gibson in the parade today. You can find that HERE.
I am so proud of him. We all are. I think he has truly found a place in marching band. I did not see that coming but life is full of surprises, some of them far better than anything we could have dreamed up on our own. 

Love...Ms. Moon