Thursday, January 8, 2026

Pining For Camellias


The Japonica varieties of camellias are still not blooming but both of the sasangua varieties I have are. This is the pink one I have growing here. Both it and the red and yellow one are blooming more profusely  than they ever have before but so late! In late December of 2023 my hallway altar looked like this. 


And in 2018, on January 29, it looked like this. 


It was such an embarrassment of riches every year. Those camellias have been my joy and my reminder of miracles every winter. 
I have not given up hope though. I refuse. There are a fantastic number of buds and I am hoping that whatever mystical series of weather events has to take place for them to open happens soon. 

I did see something else I consider magical today though. I was on my back porch, as usual, when I heard a tap-tapping and looked up to see a pileated woodpecker on the pecan tree right behind where the camellias grow. I could not get a picture but here's what these magnificent birds look like. 


They are huge birds. They can range from almost almost sixteen inches long to over nineteen inches. When I see one, which is not very frequently, I feel as if I have had a religious visitation. They are that striking, that regal. 
So there was that this morning and I felt so lucky to have seen it. I fear that the pileated woodpecker will go the way of the ivory-billed woodpecker which, now extinct, was an even larger bird who was also  known as The Lord God Bird. There have been reported sightings of that bird but none verified in many years. Their habitat, like the pileated woodpecker's, was encroached on to the point where they simply could not survive and since humans' needs for development seem to have no boundaries, I am mortally afraid the pileated will become rarer and rarer until it, too, is more myth than reality. 
So you can see why when I sight one, I am filled with a sense of being blessed and not in the way people mean when they tell you to have a "blessed day" which is a common occurrence in these parts and sort of makes me want to screech, "I'm an atheist!"

I had to go to town again today. This going to town thing is getting to be a far more frequent event than I'd like. I had to go to the pharmacy where my hormones are made to pick those up and then to Costco and then to Publix. To reward myself for braving the urban world of East Tallahassee once again (haha!), I asked Jessie if she wanted to meet me for lunch at a Cuban restaurant. I was craving a bowl of their garbanzo bean soup. 
She did. And we discussed some very deep topics and that's not a joke. Our conversation was a more serious one than we usually have but it was a good one. 
And the soup was perfect.

I saw Brenda at Costco and she did not look like her usual boss self. She's been very sick with flu and bronchitis and even had to go to the hospital. Still, she was beautiful in her Brenda way and I hope she is better soon. Obviously, she needed more time off to recover but back to work she had to go which sucks tremendously and is simply wrong. 
I went a little crazy at Costco. I bought two new towels and a new set of sheets. I have no idea what came over me. It's just that the quality of these things is so good and their prices so much less than you'd find anywhere else. And I did what I did and I am not sorry. 

Mr. Moon is home. He has gotten so much done this week. He sent me this picture today.


A successful weld! Is that the right term? A weld? 
Fuck if I know. But I think it's part of the downstairs shower situation so definitely important. In fact, I'm almost certain it's part of the downstairs shower situation. As far as I know, the upstairs shower situation is fine as it is.
So. Painting, plumbing, welding. 
And I know he loves it all. 

Tomorrow we go BACK to Costco to see Ms. JaLisa and I am not sure Glen's going to keep his hearing aids. He is not happy with them. In the last few weeks he has not worn them every waking moment. I am doing my best to convince him that he needs to keep them for when he's not hunting or fishing or alone at least. I'm not thrilled with mine, either. Perhaps I really do not have as much hearing loss as I thought I did but I do know that I CAN hear conversations better and I can hear my grandchildren better and I can hear what the guy who oversees the dump says better and I can hear the TV better so I'm not surrendering mine for a refund. They can be a pain in the ass and the quality of the sound when I'm listening to books or podcasts with them is so inferior to my AirPods that I understand how Glen feels and there may be times when I don't wear mine either. Times when I'm home alone, specifically. I can hear the birds and the breezes and the rain and the oh my god, THE TRAIN, just fine without them. But I know Glen and I hear each other better with them even if he is loathe to admit it. 
I need to be flexible, I need to be open to adapting, I need to face the fact that aging creates changes and challenges which need to be addressed as best they can. 
Sigh.

The sky did another beautiful thing at sunset this evening. I didn't take a picture of what it looked like in the west because I've done that recently but here's what it looked like to the south. 


Not nearly as dramatic but there is beauty in subtlety too. I love the pink clouds.

I am not going to discuss the horrors. Not tonight. 

Love...Ms. Moon












47 comments:

  1. In my experience it is more often the older men who won't persevere with hearing aids. In my community I am often yelling at men who have hearing aids but don't like to use them

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    1. Well, Mr. Moon kept his today and JaLisa adjusted both of ours again. I think it probably is men who won't admit they need them. It's like a public admittance that they are aging and parts are not what they used to be.

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  2. Weld or solder, not sure. Is there anything that man can't do? I am too lazy to look back at your archives, but how did he stay busy when you went to Cozumel? Those gorgeous flowers do my heart good.

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    1. I could write several posts (at least) about what Glen does when we're in Cozumel. He actually reads books. We do a lot of things together, exploring the island, snorkeling, and eating. We play cards! We watch the sunset every evening. And there are naps. I honestly believe that the trips we took there many years ago when he was working SO hard added years to his life. He would sleep for hours and hours. His body finally got some rest.

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  3. Such gorgeous camellias! I like your Guadalupe statuette too.

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    1. I got her in Cozumel. She's a carving in some sort of very light-weight wood. She is one of my favorite possessions.

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  4. Your flowers are gorgeous. You know what I have? Snow. I only have fucking snow:) At least the roads were cleared today and it's not so scary to drive on our road now. There is still a big windrow in the middle of it, but they'll cart that away soon.
    It seems that trump and his goons can now shoot people without consequences. Two more people have been shot in Portland. There are plans afoot that we know nothing about I think.

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    1. I know I say this all the time but how do you LIVE with all that snow?
      Y'all know how to deal with it. Remember when it snowed in Tallahassee last winter? We all went insane. It was great!
      I HAVE to believe that this latest incident (murder) will create a vast reaction, not just in citizens, but in the Senate and House of Representatives. I have to believe this because if it doesn't, I don't know what we'll do.

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  5. The camellias are lovely, no matter what kind they are. I'm sorry the hearing aids aren't as helpful as expected. Mine were so life changing that I hoped for the same for you. I suspect the skills of the audiologist matter quite a bit. Mine spent a couple of sessions adjusting the sound to banish tinny tones and whistling. Maybe yours can do likewise.

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    1. I haven't had any tinny tones or whistling. Some static-y sounds here and there but mostly that's a volume issue. Today the audiologist did adjust mine so I'm getting less treble and more bass if that's what you can even call it in hearing aids.

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  6. I live in Ontario, Canada. There are a lot of pileated woodpeckers around my place. They are quite entertaining, scolding my dog among other things.

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    1. It makes me happy, knowing that there are many of these gorgeous birds where you are. I bet your dogs pay heed!

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  7. Your flowers are delicious! Blooming in winter is a concept i can not grasp .
    It has taken Dennis quite a while to adjust to hearing aids and they still are not great but he does hear a little better with them in...there are aps on his phone that he can choose- Clearer voices or dampen background noise, blue tooth phone conversation- but still he can not hear me if I do not shout. Even when I am only four feet away. Not ideal.

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    1. We have the blue tooth thing too and all those different settings. I know we need to do more research to discover more of these things' capabilities.
      I know Glen can hear me better and I can hear him better but best of all (for me) is that he doesn't speak nearly as loudly.
      Yes! Let my camellias bloom!

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  8. Thank you for this quiet peaceful place. I needed this, but do not seem able to do this for myself. There is a very angry part of me that cannot shut up. I needed to see camellias. Thank you.

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    1. I feel the same, Debby. No matter how hard I try, these things are always with me. And it does not help that every day, if not every hour, new horrors arise.
      Let us spend all the time with camellias we can.

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  9. My husband won't wear his hearing aids at home....he puts them in when out socializing but not for me at home, therefore I have to say everything 3 times, louder and louder!! Drives me nuts. . We sometimes have conversations that remind me of a birthday card that was popular some years ago.......2 old blokes chatting......" Is it Wednesday?, No it's Thursday.... so am I, let's go to the pub"

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    1. I know that card!
      Yes. I can see how that would drive you insane. Glen is pretty sweet about recognizing my need for us to be able to communicate without yelling. But he doesn't like them.

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  10. I love my hearing aids as they are bluetooth enabled and I can listen to my tablet without anoying anyone else. I have got so used to them I have to remember before a shower to take them out. The technician who fitted them also is deaf which I think gives him a better idea and he said to keep them in as much as possable at the begining as the brain cant adapt properly if they are taken in and out constantly hope this helps.

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    1. Oh yes. Ours are bluetooth connected as well and I do listen to my books and podcasts via my phone on them but sadly, the sound quality when I do is far less than it was when I listened with my bluetooth AirPods. That is taking some getting used to.
      I have worn mine almost every waking minute of every day since I got them. We were told about that. Glen was far more conscientious about that at first but now, when he's alone, say working at the cabin, he goes without them and I don't blame him.

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  11. Camelias, a pileated woodpecker, peeks inside your home, lunch with Jessie, a dramatic sky, and a beautifully perfect weld. Thanks for this break from the horrors.

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    1. Oh, Mitchell! How I wish I could erase the horrors. Just wave my magic camellia wand and banish them along with those who perpetrate them. I am sure I am not the only one.

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  12. Camelias help. I truly appreciate your sharing of those beauties. We're only 8 days into the new year. It's going to take a lot of camellias. Or gin.

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    1. Or vodka. Camellias, gin, vodka. Plus whateverthefuck works!

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  13. We have Pileated Woodpeckers here in the U.P. I don’t know how prevalent they are. I can say that i haven’t heard as many as in previous years. They look prehistoric to me. I’m not sure there’s enough gin for this shitshow.

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    1. They do look prehistoric but not quiet as prehistoric as pelicans which, as Steve Reed pointed out last week, look like pterodactyls. I have seen tourists here who FREAK OUT when they see those birds close up.

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  14. You have a great collection of camelias. The flowers are delicate and beautiful. It seems this is an off year for camelias. Hopefully, they will get back to blooming profusely.
    So many people say, their hearing aids do not work well. The issues have been around for a long time.

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    1. I have seen other camellias blooming. There's a white one across the street that's been going crazy.
      I am realizing that it is easier and far more successful to correct vision than to help with hearing loss.

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  15. I saw two or three piliated woodpeckers last week, and like you found an internet image to share to blog, because my own photos are pretty lame. Oh I hope your flowers come out soon! Yes we need beauty upon which to focus, like your pretty clouds. Today I feel like I have a big grey cloud over my head. Rain is due soon.

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    1. We are supposed to get rain tomorrow too, I think. And then colder weather. If my camellias do come out, I will share the heck out of them.
      I know that big gray cloud.

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  16. I haven't been checking blogs since Christmas as I am afraid I've fallen into a bit of a funk over everything that is going on in our country. I feel hopeless at times. Your post with the photos and the goings on during a day gave me a sense of calm. Thank you for that.

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    1. Michael, I am so sorry. It does indeed sound to me like you're going through some black dog experiences and that is awful. The dark hopelessness I have felt in my life many times is something I would be so happy never to feel again. I take two different medications for depression and anxiety and they do help me. I hope that light will soon become more part of your days. It is hard these days though, to see any, isn't it?

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  17. My little camellia gave me 7 flowers this season since I dug it up last fall and put it in a pot, the first time it has bloomed in maybe 3 years. Now if it will just grow and get to be a big shrub.

    I love the pileated woodpeckers. Rare to see them. Supposed to rain here today which we sorely need.

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    1. Yay for your camellia! It finally bloomed!
      As always- we will probably get your rain tomorrow. Are you supposed to then get cooler temperatures? We are.

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  18. I wanted to mention that I like your header picture. I love seeing water flowing like that. I'm sleeping a bit better and am out of bed so I am moving in the right direction.

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    1. Thank you, Ellen. That is "my" river. The Sebastian river. It is almost always moving as it's tidal, connected as it is to the Atlantic through a nearby inlet.
      I am SO glad you're feeling better. At least a little bit.

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  19. I also love to see the pileated woodpeckers. Years ago, I had a cat who caught and killed one and I never felt the same way toward the cat again! I was so devastated by that poor bird's death. Since then, I have only seen one a few times in the yard again. They are truly regal. -Dayna

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    1. Oh, I would have been heartbroken too! And your cat was probably proud as punch to have killed such a fierce bird because you KNOW they must be fierce fighters.
      Regal is the word for them.

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  20. A pileated woodpecker visited my bird feeder a few days ago and I sat at my dining room table watching him peck away. They're fascinating - almost prehistoric looking. I can hear them pecking away in my neighborhood, too. They sound like a jack hammer!

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    1. They do sound like a jackhammer. I'm glad you get to see them where you live.

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  21. Lord God bird! I think Rebecca must have used that somewhere. I'm listed as anonymous but it's me, Coyote here. I miss you and your writing so I'm here. About to go to the pool and gym as my limbs have failed me-left knee (torn meniscus) left shoulder sprain. I hobble around quite pathetically but sometimes young sports medicine doctors arrive like angels. With cortisone and advice. I added a cat to my household and she's spicy, chasing my peace loving boys. I don't know what I was thinking. Now there are three of them to run around at 4 in the morning, knocking over plants and causing crashing noises throughout the house (why?)

    Your children and my children are good and healthy and that's a blessing. My grandson is 23, 6'4" and very nicely turned out now. Plus he's lovely. The PNW is inundated with rain and more rain and more rain. Eagles over head and owls call to each other in the greenbelt behind my house at night.

    Know you are beloved, Mary.

    XXX Beth

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    1. Dear Beth Coyote! I am so sorry to hear that you're having those kinds of problems. They seem to be simply inevitable as we age, especially if we have used our bodies in lots of physical activities all of our lives which I KNOW you have. But it's hard. Not only the pain which is bad enough in and of itself but the feeling of realizing we are not indestructible or invulnerable can be a rude awakening. Thank goodness for young sports medicine doctors who listen, will prescribe drugs that HELP, and give advice. My beloved GP's sister is a sports medicine doc as well as being an orthopedic doc and when the time comes, I sure hope I can get in to see her.
      Yes! We are lucky our children and grandchildren are doing well. My grandchildren are growing so fast it makes me dizzy. Owen at sixteen is 6'3" and just a giant. He was my little hip-baby-buddy just ten minutes ago, wasn't he? How do these things happen?
      I am glad that you get to hear the eagles and owls. This morning I heard two hawks talking about it, whatever "it" was.They were strident. Without these trees and the creatures around here, I would not be able to survive these times.
      Thank you for coming by. Thank you for commenting. And please, please take are of yourself, be as gentle with yourself as you would be with any stranger or friend, and remember that YOU are beloved.

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    2. As to the cats? If my one and only cat wasn't an insane murderer, I would have at least two more. I'm about to die to get a kitten.

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  22. I was nearly 30 when I saw a Pileated Woodpecker for the first time. I whooped so loudly, I scared it away.

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    1. I think they too qualify as a Lord God Bird because when you see one you say, "Lord God! Look at that bird!"

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  23. I cannot imagine seeing a Pileated Woodpecker.....prehistoric dinosaur birds and gorgeous. Yes, let us hope they can survive. We have tons of woodpecker species here in Calif.....but the Pileated is not among them. and yes...since welding was one of my husbands *side jobs*....I can spot a successful weld when I see one LOL! Good job Mr Moon!
    Susan M

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    1. You would love seeing pileated woodpeckers. We have regular red-headed woodpeckers too and although I love them and they are beautiful birds, the pileated ones are simply amazing.
      I'm glad to hear that an expert (so to speak) in observing welds approves of Glen's work.

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Tell me, sweeties. Tell me what you think.