tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post5119553492577523119..comments2024-03-28T09:51:50.148-04:00Comments on Bless Our Hearts: Some History Or Why I'm Still A HippieMs. Moonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-68178063488815794882019-05-10T09:47:49.987-04:002019-05-10T09:47:49.987-04:00I don't remember any particular inspiration, j...I don't remember any particular inspiration, just the whole hippie back to nature culture. there were Lamaze classes available which we took. my daughter was born first, water broke at home at 10PM before I even started having contractions. I was in labor for 11 hours when the doctor gave me some pitosin because he feared I was getting too tired and she was born an hour later.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-33361870863512167282019-05-09T22:25:52.452-04:002019-05-09T22:25:52.452-04:00PS: Had to add this, our Younger Daughter had 3 of...PS: Had to add this, our Younger Daughter had 3 of her 5 Children in Mexico, she said a big difference there in Childbirth. For her last Child, the Lady in the next bed who'd just had her own Baby got up and Assisted in the delivery of my Grand-Daughter! Now, you'd never see THAT in an American Hospital setting! *LOL* Bohemianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03743017084098726581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-54927741032879599782019-05-09T22:16:19.456-04:002019-05-09T22:16:19.456-04:00As one Old Hippie to another, I'm glad you wer...As one Old Hippie to another, I'm glad you were part of the Resistance. I refused to be shaved for any Birth and thankfully I had compliant Doctors who were probably considered Radical themselves for Honoring a Mother's wishes. I also insisted on having a Female Friend present at the Births, having other Women around, IMO, is important, only another Woman can know what no Man can about giving Birth! Got to see the first pix of the new Royal, he's Adorable and the Parents are glowing with Pride and Joy. A surprise I think that they had a Son, I had thought it had been said they were expecting a Girl because I think I read they had intended to name her Diana after his Mum? So rare for it to be a Surprise nowadays with all the new technological advances. One of my Grand-Daughters will soon be having her first Child... so another Great-Grandbaby coming very soon!Bohemianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03743017084098726581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-58191589157997005002019-05-09T20:36:05.053-04:002019-05-09T20:36:05.053-04:00Thank you, Mary. <3
I love that you have such ...Thank you, Mary. <3<br /><br />I love that you have such a loud, strong voice on behalf of women. When I find myself so demoralized that all I want to do is sit down and fall into silence forever, I think of you and of the other generations who came before us. Women who fought uphill for decade after decade and have *refused* to sit down and shut up. It's damn inspiring!<br /><br />PS Not only is Magnolia June the cutest girl ever, but her sweet, sweet name makes me smile every time I hear it. We don't get fabulous names like that up here in the North!Violet Stitcheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08189911377842781049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-4953798427066937932019-05-09T20:11:36.435-04:002019-05-09T20:11:36.435-04:00Listen- I've always said that if I had been in...Listen- I've always said that if I had been in a hospital setting I would have BEGGED for pain meds or an epidural. No one can prepare you for what childbirth can feel like. I've also said that (especially during my first birth) if someone had asked me if they could have dipped me in boiling oil, I would have said, "Yes. Thank you. That will distract me from the pain." I will also tell you that I have had many pregnancy dreams since my children were born and in a great many of them I've decided that this time I WILL go to a hospital and get an epidural because I'd proved I could do it and well, that was enough. <br />Don't ever kick yourself for wanting relief. Ever. Okay? <br />Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-10055668826762371312019-05-09T19:53:47.136-04:002019-05-09T19:53:47.136-04:00Wow, thank you Mary for your kind comment. I'v...Wow, thank you Mary for your kind comment. I've never considered myself brave or been called brave by anyone regarding that birth, and was condemned by pretty much everyone for it. I live in Rochester, MN, the birthplace of the Mayo F'ing Clinic, and most people think Mayo doctors are gods. They're not, and I have the infection rates to prove it.<br /><br />I have a lot of guilt because I couldn't bear the pain of that birth, and by going into the hospital to get an epidural (a decision my midwives did not support), I ended up damaging myself and my son. It was a highly traumatic experience. Thank you again for your fresh perspective and supportive words.Violet Stitcheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08189911377842781049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-80102346886877089572019-05-09T13:53:56.414-04:002019-05-09T13:53:56.414-04:00Hurray for your doctor! Bless her and her patience...Hurray for your doctor! Bless her and her patience and belief in you and in the process. And I can just see that boy of yours doing things his own way, right from the very beginning! <br />As babies so often do. <br />Didn't going through that process (twice) give you so much respect for and new knowledge about the strength of your body? It surely did for me. There are ways that birthing my children helped me heal that nothing else ever would have done. And part of that was standing up, finally, to authority to say, "No! This is MY body and you will NOT tell me what to do with it." I couldn't ever do it for myself but I could do it for my babies. <br />Which was life changing. <br />Maggie is a little beauty, isn't she? Lord. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-10457602428901915142019-05-09T13:49:48.246-04:002019-05-09T13:49:48.246-04:00Oh yes! They used to be so fucking concerned with ...Oh yes! They used to be so fucking concerned with weight gain. For what reason, I do not know. But it was so unhealthy for the baby and the mother. I don't blame you for not wanting to go through all of that yourself. <br />And yes, things are a bit more patient-oriented now but the problem is is that so many women don't even try to educate themselves and gladly just abdicate all power and decision making to the medical team. I will never understand that. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-51674973402500465542019-05-09T13:46:48.200-04:002019-05-09T13:46:48.200-04:00This, too, breaks my heart. Of all of the sins com...This, too, breaks my heart. Of all of the sins committed against birthing women by medical establishments, there is no greater sin than denying a mother access to her baby. <br />Nuns. They aren't all like the ones in "Call The Midwife" are they? <br />Fuck no. What they did to you was nothing short of torture. <br />Thank all the powers that be for your friend who finally helped you get your baby home. That must have been the best day of your life. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-59347271388385113292019-05-09T13:44:08.079-04:002019-05-09T13:44:08.079-04:00Okay. There is so much to this story but the part ...Okay. There is so much to this story but the part about the doctors yelling at you sounds so familiar and makes me so angry that I want to scream. <br />FUCK THEM! <br />Bless you for having the sense to try and stay home and I'm so sorry you had to transfer. It certainly does happen. <br />But yeah- home is no doubt the safest place for a baby to be born when it comes to possible infection. And yet, when we first started practicing home birth the argument was given over and over again that the hospital was so much safer because of the sterility. What a crock. <br />Thank you for sharing this with me. And us. You must be very brave. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-78751924669846909982019-05-09T13:39:18.934-04:002019-05-09T13:39:18.934-04:00Well, one of the main problems is that doctors are...Well, one of the main problems is that doctors are trained to handle the very small percentage of births in which something does go very wrong. And those do happen! But because of this training, a great many of them see all births as pathological in nature- or potentially, at least, rather than a normal process. Not to mention that many of the newer technologies aimed at "helping" in the birth process actually impede or even complicate it. The US has such a technical view of birth and our mortality rates of mothers and infants is ridiculously high. So...why do we do it? <br />Shrug. <br />Don't know. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-64227661744294998592019-05-09T13:35:56.228-04:002019-05-09T13:35:56.228-04:00I hear you. And of course Owen was induced. No one...I hear you. And of course Owen was induced. No one can say but we wonder. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-24978292439265234522019-05-09T13:35:17.961-04:002019-05-09T13:35:17.961-04:00No matter how much we plan, how we dream our birth...No matter how much we plan, how we dream our births will go, the truth of the matter is that situations arise which we cannot control. I can't imagine having a baby five weeks in NICU. That must have been a sort of hell. I am so glad you got to have your second vaginally. I'm sure it was difficult but you must have been completely in rapture when he was finally with you. <br />I'm glad you no longer grieve over how those births went. As you and I both know, there is no way to absolutely predict what's going to happen and no one probably thought you would have premature labor. <br />I, too, never tire of hearing birth stories. They are the best stories of all. And hell yes, doctors still take control of what they should leave alone. That's what they are trained to do and they do it. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-53937010627934033642019-05-09T13:31:06.872-04:002019-05-09T13:31:06.872-04:00Ugh. Ugh to the hospital, ugh especially to that a...Ugh. Ugh to the hospital, ugh especially to that abusive man you were married to. Control, control, control. All of them want it. They want to take the control away from the woman and then they can control her and the birth. <br />But thank GOD for the midwives, especially the one who made it possible for you to hold your boy. You know what? I think that has probably made a huge difference in your life. And in his, too. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-60315868962483673002019-05-09T13:28:36.789-04:002019-05-09T13:28:36.789-04:00Well, there you go- this is one of the problems of...Well, there you go- this is one of the problems of induction. Lily was induced with Owen and her labor was long and protracted and very, very hard. Her subsequent births were at home, unmedicated, and fast. Such a difference! I'm really glad that despite all, your grandson is strong and healthy. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-36115266893937198762019-05-09T13:27:12.464-04:002019-05-09T13:27:12.464-04:00By '81 (is my math right?) they had changed so...By '81 (is my math right?) they had changed some things. Sounds like you made the very, very best of a hospital birth. Especially the part about keeping the baby by your side. <br />Smash the patriarchy INDEED! Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-30585805830592899242019-05-09T13:25:16.221-04:002019-05-09T13:25:16.221-04:00We will always be hippies, Ellen, and glad of it, ...We will always be hippies, Ellen, and glad of it, too. <br />You were very brave in those early years to give birth without drugs. What was your inspiration for this? <br />I will NEVER understand the cruelty of separating mothers and babies like they did. Was it because so many of the babies were drugged and therefore needed more watching? Because the mothers needed time to clear the drugs from their bloodstream in order to be able to take care of their infants? Just so evil. Remember when "rooming-in" was considered a big, huge deal? <br />Good god. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-19718354663444864152019-05-09T13:21:47.212-04:002019-05-09T13:21:47.212-04:00Thanks, Joanne. Thanks, Joanne. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-56919213468921960332019-05-09T13:21:10.723-04:002019-05-09T13:21:10.723-04:00E, this breaks my heart. From the medications give...E, this breaks my heart. From the medications given to her in labor to the fact that they denied her breastfeeding. That's absolutely evil. No, of course there was not proper bonding. And of course she was terrified. <br />I am so sorry. Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-79907403909749084412019-05-08T22:41:12.885-04:002019-05-08T22:41:12.885-04:00I think I was a lucky one. My doctor for both babi...I think I was a lucky one. My doctor for both babies was an Asian woman, and though my son was a very difficult birth, and other doctors thought I should have a c section, she was patient and worked with us until 24 hours later he was born, all 9 lbs 10 ounces of him, a tall 22 and a half inches, but she didn't rush him. He came in his own time. He had a black eye from hitting my pelvic bone because he presented face first, wanted to see where he was going even then. She delivered my daughter two years later and reading the stories here I'm so grateful it was her. Mary, you have such a powerful testimony about being on the frontlines of women taking back their feminine power from abusive male doctors and bringing their babies into the world in a more natural and holistic way. I love your passion, your anger, your love, your truth. And good Lord that Mongolia is a beautiful child.37paddingtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12400464105403622384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-4759524833917570912019-05-08T13:49:20.709-04:002019-05-08T13:49:20.709-04:00One of the reasons I never had kids, was the horro...One of the reasons I never had kids, was the horror stories from my friends, we were all young marrieds in the late sixties and early 70s, and it did seem that they were all having babies tended by very angry, abusive doctors. One told my neighbor that she had gained a pound (she was already living on water and apples) and he berated her for it! <br /><br />I so did not want to go through that at all. <br /><br />No one should ever be treated as you were, as my friends were. It does seem so much more patient oriented now than back then. mittenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04878611591683283429noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-70429311906370106502019-05-08T09:43:24.965-04:002019-05-08T09:43:24.965-04:00my births were in 1977 and 1979.my births were in 1977 and 1979.ellen abbotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00535475792150335186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-70410071280078726732019-05-08T08:59:08.681-04:002019-05-08T08:59:08.681-04:00I share your anger and the anger of all women who ...I share your anger and the anger of all women who are treated so poorly during childbirth.<br /><br />There isn't a day when I don't count my blessings for being able to home deliver my child. I started labour 8 weeks prematurely and all involved thought this was either a false alarm or that I had ages to go. Anyway, she was born at home and whisked off to hospital within minutes.<br /><br />We were punished afterwards, directly and even in the local paper, the doctor who was present at the birth was reprimanded and nearly lost his job. We found out later that an anonymous source phoned with the story.<br /><br />I was only allowed to visit my baby for one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening. It became obvious quickly that making a fuss would backfire. I basically had to beg for them to accept my breast milk and who knows whether they did use it. There was so much more: making me wait in front of the glass door until they all had their tea and chat aka handover with much laughter and prayer (!) while my baby screamed and screamed, jokes about my hair, my clothes, my foreign accent, asking my man to show we were married etc.<br /><br />None of this came from a doctor but from the mostly elderly nurses, all Catholic nuns, without a shred of sympathy or compassion.<br /><br />In the end a friend of a friend got involved and arranged for the public health nurse to approve of our home situation and suddenly all hands were on deck to help us move our heathen baby out of there.<br />Sabinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09015827501648296977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-70049395046201457972019-05-08T07:51:19.582-04:002019-05-08T07:51:19.582-04:00I'm an infection control nurse and decided in ...I'm an infection control nurse and decided in 2011 to home deliver my baby due to outrageous hospital infection rates (and this was the Mayo f'ing Clinic). My baby was posterior and I ended up going to the hospital as I was unable to tolerate the agony. Of course they ended up giving me an emergency c-section, and I stopped breathing during the surgery. When I came to I had so many doctors yelling at me about how I nearly killed myself and my baby by attempting a home birth...they said I should be in PRISON! Um, it wasn't birth that nearly killed me, it was their goddamn surgical procedure (I had an anaphylactic reaction to some of the drugs they gave me). <br /><br />I share your deep fury at the medical establishment and at these pompous men who think they have a right to mock women, who are the ones actually giving birth. So. F'ing. Outrageous.!!!!Violet Stitcheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08189911377842781049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2086296370004835655.post-29673032953083969772019-05-08T02:23:13.972-04:002019-05-08T02:23:13.972-04:00It's amazing how arrogant doctors can be. I gu...It's amazing how arrogant doctors can be. I guess they have to believe that all the time and money they poured into education counts for something, and that nature couldn't POSSIBLY handle childbirth alone!Steve Reedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11684120060438252945noreply@blogger.com