So, Blogger isn't letting me upload pictures which is just about the way today has been going and as A.P. Whaley, the captain of the ferry between Carabelle and Dog Island used to say (and god rest his soul) My give-a-damn meter is at zero.
I woke up this morning from the gnarliest of gnarly dreams, many, many of the greatest hits of themes being represented including the huge house dream, the dream where everything is such a horrible mess that I can't even find a clean sink to wash a dish in although there must be fifteen different dishwashers and a goodly number of other assorted household appliances in various locations, all of them nasty, dirty, and only marginally working, the dream where I cannot find anything to wear and this one was combined with the I-have-an-exam-and-I-am-late-and-I-haven't-studied-and-besides-that-where-is-the-class-and-who-will-watch-my-children? dream. There was also a festival dream combined with a mall dream and those two featured my fear-of-abandonment. And oh- wait- now I remember! The dream which included a bear attack, a murder, and a hidden corpse.
So. Yes. When I woke up I was mighty glad to find that IT HAD ALL BEEN A DREAM but the day was gray and the promised rain never fell. We had no sun but lots of wind and skies like the cotton wool that might have been pulled from an old doll in an attic by rats and left to get coated with dust and time for decades.
Mr. Moon chopped wood all day. I don't know how he did it. He's a super human. I am not a super human. I am a barely-human. I did inside stuff. Taking my dreams as a warning, I suppose, I cleaned my shower and bathroom sink and Mr. Moon's shower and bathroom sink and did a bunch of laundry and two crossword puzzles and made a coconut cream pie which I would show you a picture of if Blogger was letting me post pictures, which it is not. It's pretty enough but I feel like I have no cooking juju at all right now and feel certain that something will be weird about it.
You know that here in the Andy Griffith portion of the USA we believe for whatever reason that in order to ensure good luck for the coming days of the New Year we must eat black-eyed peas and greens and rice on New Year's Day, right? I mentioned the other day that when I did my grocery shopping, Publix was out of dried black-eyed peas but I felt confident that I had some somewhere. Black-eyed peas are a staple for many of us. I'm sure that Aunt Bee always had a bag or two in the pantry. Come to think of it, I've just about grown up to be Aunt Bee if Aunt Bee never went to church, swore like a sailor, didn't wear a girdle and actually made good pickles. And yeah, was a slut of a housekeeper.
Anyway, I found some black-eyed peas, about fifty of them, I guess, in the bottom of a bag, and so I have combined those with a bag of our frozen field peas from last summer and they are merrily married right now in a simmering broth with onions and bacon. I had no ham and no interest in buying a hog jowl. I am also cooking collard greens from the garden along with a few mustard greens, tomatoes and onions. And okay, I'll admit it- some BACON. Yes, yes. At least I'm not going to put bacon in the cornbread.
Unless I do.
It's started raining. Just a little bit.
Drip. Drip. Drizzle. Drizzle. Looks like we'll be getting real rain though from now through tomorrow night.
Can I please just sleep through the next few weeks and wake up when it's time for the inauguration? Anyone taking odds on whether or not Mean Mr. Mustard will attend the ceremony? Can you imagine the frowny scowl he'll have on his face if he does? His mouth will, by that time, have turned into an actual anus and his red tie will hang to his supposed genitals.
As one may surmise, my New Year's resolutions do not extend to being a nicer, classier person. Nope. Not like I ever make any New Year's resolutions anyway except for that one year I resolved to wear more colorful clothing and the year I resolved to say the word "cocksucker" more frequently. I failed even at those.
Yes. It's Friday. I have a martini in front of me. I'm going to concentrate on that now. And cornbread. With no bacon.
Happy Friday, y'all.
It's never too late to consider enrolling at a Swiss finishing school. When the course is finished you will be a changed woman. In your stilleto heels, wearing a smart Pierre Cardin business suit with a cream silk blouse and your hair brushed up into a beehive style, you will become the model of sophistication in northern Florida and invitations to cocktail parties and other social gatherings will fill your mail box to bursting point. Happy New Year Mary Moon!ReplyDelete
Oh my gawd! I cannot imagine a worse fate. Which you knew when you wrote that. Just out of curiosity- have you ever watched The Andy Griffith Show?Delete
And happy New Year to you, Mr. P.
Nope. Until you mentioned him, I had never heard of Andy Griffith!Delete
I had ham and red cabbage today for lunch, and was asked if I were doing my version of a Southern tradition! No, actually I was just using up the cabbage and ham, but I didn't admit that.ReplyDelete
I have those fear of abandonment dreams, too, not so many during the pandemic, but I used to get them a lot. Lost alone in a strange city and it's getting dark and I can't find my car or a bus, and nobody will help me. Etc.etc. Variations on the above, the worst being losing my little boy on top of all the rest. Since the pandemic my dreams have calmed down considerably, which makes me wonder if they were caused by forced interactions with other people, and once that was legally not happening, it all got better in the dream category. For me, I get it when Sartre says hell is other people!
Lady! I hear you! When I think about society being "normal" again, I get anxious. For some of us, the enforced staying-at-home has had a lot of goodness in it.Delete
And yes- I am constantly losing my babies or other people's babies in my dreams.
Crazy dirty dreams, They do happen and I am sure that if we googled them something positive would come up - like good fortune will follow you the rest of your days , just keep the dirt in the dreams, Mine is ALWAYS poop.ReplyDelete
Bacon in corn bread sounds delish! I used to make three layer corn bread with strawberries on top. Crowd pleaser- but bacon would be so much better. Or both...
Lord, I rarely dream about poop and I am grateful for that. I think that cornbread with bacon, onions, jalapeno peppers and cheese would be about the best thing on earth.Delete
The only thing that Aunt Bee failed at were those damned pickles! I had vivid bad dreams last night, too. Has anyone ever told you the meaning behind a dirty house, too much to do, and people who are lost? I have the same type of dream every couple months or so, and the day after is spent cleaning bathrooms and making pound cake. Nineteen days until real adults will be in the White House!!ReplyDelete
17 days, eighteen hours and fifty-four minutes. There are countdown clocks apps!Delete
Poor Aunt Bee and those pickles...
well, your meal sounds southern and appropriate enough to bring you good luck on this day! Dreams..... I had wild ones last night too, but nothing on the scale of yours. And you know- I hope Mean Mr Mustard does not show up on Jan. 20th. In one way or another.....he would attempt it to be *all about him*..... I SO hope we will be rid of him very soon.....ReplyDelete
It's always all about him. He'll probably hold an alternative reality inauguration. I wonder if Melania will hold the Bible for him again.Delete
Good night...cannot keep my eyes open...Sweet dreams.ReplyDelete
I hope you slept well, dear e.Delete
My worst dreams involve water, lots and lots of water. No way out and now what do i do? When i was a kid, i used to dream of Jesus, sitting on a throne, with a crown on his head, behind the dilapidated steps in our basement. I wonder if it had to do with my Mother making us go to church every week and the angst involved.ReplyDelete
I don’t make resolutions anymore. I didn’t have much success so why bother?
I hope your friday night martini was all you hoped for!
I've heard that water represents emotions and feelings in our dreams. I wonder if that's true? Would it make any sense in the context of your dreams?Delete
Poor Jesus, stuck on a throne behind your basement steps. Poor you for having to go through church angst.
The martini(s) were fine!
OMG ... I love how you write! You truly make me laugh out loud! Good grief, I have seen so many Andy Griffith shows and reruns that I have to change the channel now ... I am done with ole Barney Fife ... what a diva he was in that role!ReplyDelete
So glad I found your blog ... looking forward to 2021 with you!
Nothing could please me more than knowing that I'm making someone laugh. So thank you, Marcia LaRue. I love your name.Delete
Barney was a diva, wasn't he? What a great cast that was and it was one show that was not completely disrespectful to the south although of course- where were the Black citizens of Mayberry?
I like grumpy Ms. Moon. You're sassy!ReplyDelete
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and hopefully trump runs away to someplace without extradition and leaves everyone alone.
I doubt the lying, grumpy orange one will attend the inauguration. It's for Adults Only & he doesn't know how to act.Delete
Happy New Year!
I can indeed get sassy when I'm grumpy. It is my saving grace.Delete
I'm with you, Lily, on Trump. Run away, little man. Run away.
The problem is, Monica, he doesn't know that he doesn't know how to act. Just like every spoiled baby he believes he has the right to act however he wants wherever he is.
Last night I had one of my ' lost the dog" dream. Not always the same dream, but my dog is always lost and it is very distressing ! Also, I hate to admit to this but last night I was kissing Boris Johnson!! Where did that idea come from? Ugh !ReplyDelete
You lose your dog, I love a child. It's the same theme, I am sure.Delete
Kissing Boris Johnson! Oh my Lord! Now that is a nightmare.
Whenever you post one of your dreams, you (almost) make me thankful that my erratic sleeping/waking means I rarely dream. Yowza. You have to feel worn out before you put a foot out of the bed. Here's hoping you get some decent zzz's in the near future. Preferably with dreams only of spending good times with Keith Richards. :)ReplyDelete
I AM worn out some mornings from my dreams. It's ridiculous!Delete
I have had dreams about Keith Richards but generally he is just a sweet old man in them and his wife and "people" are always around. Which is fine. They're all very nice.
I had crazy dreams myself last night, something to do with a gathering of a sort with rooms and roommates and interacting with strangers and the only thing I remember in any detail is that two guys and a gal were going to go for a walk around a lake and I told them I would go with them but that I hadn't eaten and was hungry and if they would just wait a few minutes while I went in and grabbed something to eat which I did and when I returned, they had not waited even those few minutes.ReplyDelete
I've never heard of greens and rice, black eyed peas, or course. which I fixed last night with a the bit of leftover shredded steak and sauteed onions and garlic and some of the tomatoes I put up this summer. Marc made cornbread and we were good to go. he showed me a recipe for hoppin' john in the Houston paper that must have had 50 ingredients. I passed on that.
How rude of your dream people not to wait on you to go for their walk! Do you suppose that would be a FOMO dream?Delete
Wait. Fifty ingredients in Hoppin' John? That's bullshit right there. All you REALLY need are the peas, water, salt, and maybe some pork. And rice. Much more than that and it's not Hoppin' John.
That is a great post! So funny that you got me chuckling! My bad dreams are usually about having to plan some huge gathering that seems impossible to do or having to teach a class I don't know anything about.ReplyDelete
I am trying very hard to ignore Cheeto Mussolini because attention is what he wants. Less than 3 weeks until Biden/Harris! YaY!
We all seem to feel so inadequate in our dreams. I am constantly trying to feed people in mine and cannot get it together and I get more and more and more anxious.Delete
You are so right about Cheeto Mussolini.
Ha, Mean Mr Mustard! :D Oh, I hope he just fucks off into obscurity.ReplyDelete
I made cornbread today! To go with a spicy chickpea soup. I make a different internet recipe every time, because I'm too dysfunctional to save the really good ones. This one ... isn't as good as the last one. But it's still comforting. I should just do your recipe, did you post it before?
I wish I could recommend Bridgerton for your mood, as it lit up 24 hours for me beautifully as I binged it all. But I know you were bored, so I can't!
Oh! We do like Bridgerton! We are just watching one episode a night though.Delete
I don't think I've ever posted a cornbread recipe. Do you have self-rising flour in Ireland?
Well that's an alarming vision of the inauguration! LOL! I think he probably won't attend. But I suspect lots of his insane protesters will.ReplyDelete
You managed to work pretty much everything into those dreams, didn't you? Holy cow! At times I'm glad I never remember mine.
Insane protestors is right. You'd have to be insane to protest THIS inauguration.Delete
I do manage to work a lot of details and themes into my dreams. I have a very busy brain at night, I guess.
Ha ha, I get those kinds of dreams sometimes too. Chaos everywhere, every time I try to take a shower I'm thwarted so I can never get clean, the huge house in total disarray and so on. I think I'm pretty good at interpreting them but they are unpleasant aren't they. Have to say I love your description of the Orange Anus at the inauguration though!ReplyDelete
Again- similar themes there as mine. And no, it doesn't take Dr. Freud to figure out most of them but yes, dammit! They are so unpleasant.Delete
That mouth of Donny's is a sin on this earth. Ugh.