There are a few areas around here where it seems as if the sky is always doing something fantastically interesting. This is one of them. It's right near the Costco. I just happened to look up while I was at a stop light and that is what was happening.
Today was pedicure and lunch day. Lily had the day off and Jessie is working tonight and the time seemed right. I actually stopped at Lily's house, which is between Lloyd and most of the places we go in Tallahassee, and she drove us to the nail place. Actually we first went to a tire place to pick up Jessie as she was getting new tires.
The reason I didn't drive Lily is because my car stunk to high heaven. I said "stunk" rather than "stinks" as I am being optimistic as to the super deep cleaning I gave it after I got home this afternoon.
It's a long story involving a gallon of milk in one of my sturdy canvas bags that had been laid on its side and therefore leaked all the way home a few days ago. I thought the bag had contained it all so I washed that and cleaned off the milk jug and put it in the refrigerator because the jug itself had not leaked, just the lid.
First lesson learned- do not put gallon jugs of milk on their sides in your car to transport.
The next day I took my trash to the dump. I put the bags in my trunk, as I always do, and thought to myself, "What in the world did I put in one of those bags?" because the car stunk to high heaven. I didn't even think about the milk.
However.
The next day when I got in the car and it still smelled like something rotten and vile, I knew there was more to the story.
So I got to work, taking out everything in the trunk, smelling each item as I went, and then scrubbed the floor of the trunk (or hatchback area, whatever you call that), with Windex because The Car Guy, after about a billion years in the business swears that is the very best thing to remove odors from a car. There was a little latch place that of course I'd never noticed where milk had collected and it was all curdled and gross and it was not easy to get into all its little nooks and crannies but I tried.
I told Glen about all of this and he said, "Well, honey, the milk no doubt dripped into the space below that floor through the latch and you have to clean that too."
Sigh.
That was yesterday and I had not gotten around to cleaning the underspace (there's an underspace?) so my car still reeked. REEKED!
Which is why Lily drove us to get the pedicures and to lunch.
Of course I had a bizarre experience in the nail place with the guy who did my toes because I attract strange people who act in bizarre ways and I'm not the only one who thinks this. Lily and Jessie agree that this is true. I didn't even tell y'all about the woman in TJ Maxx who almost forced me to try on her seven-year old Birkenstocks to see how comfortable they were. And I did try them on, believe it or not.
Anyway, this guy was part sadist and part comedian wanna-be. I will not go into details but I will tell you that at one point Jessie told him to stop doing what he was doing in no uncertain terms and he did.
Okay. What he was doing was tickling the arch of my foot because he discovered it was very ticklish to me. I thought I was giving him the cease and desist order just by my cries of discomfort but no, obviously, I wasn't, so Jessie stepped in and used her firm and serious voice. How did I raise such strong children? I do not know but I am in awe of them.
Then we went to lunch where Lauren met us. She had to be at work at four this morning to do inventory but was off work by lunch time. Hurray! We had a good time and as always, Lily made me laugh so hard I almost choked. No. I will not repeat what she said that made me laugh like that.
Here's what we looked like after we ate.
Look at us girls!
When I got home, I pulled everything back out of the trunk of my car and lo and behold, here's what's under that false bottom.
I mean, I sort of knew that there was something down there in that mysterious and unexplored place to do with the tools needed to deal with a flat tire but I sort of just figured it was one of those toy tires and a jack. And a lug-nut wrench.
Well, I'd actually forgotten about the jack and the lug-nut wrench.
How privileged am I?
It would appear that there is an entire mechanic's shop of things necessary to temporarily inflate a flat tire and for all I know, there's a whole other tire beneath all of that stuff.
But I got out the Windex and the vinegar and Fabuloso and rags and paper towels and Q-Tips and bottle brushes and everything I could think of that I'd need to get into all those spaces. Some of them you can't see and yes, they too had curdled milk in the teeny-tiny cracks and holes of their structures.
So. I have done the best I can for now and I am hoping that tomorrow when I open my car, it will smell of Windex, Fabuloso, and vinegar and the odor of eau de sour milk will have disappeared. I have washed all of the bags. I have hosed down the umbrella and chair that were stored in there. And that would be a beach umbrella, not a regular it's-raining-umbrella. They are outside in the open air right now. I have the false floor of the trunk propped open and let us keep our fingers crossed. I've been driving around with the back windows open which has been fine but as the temperatures are about to drop dramatically tomorrow, that's not really going to be much of an option.
Mr. Moon is in a deer stand over on Tom's property in hopes of catching a deer. I have a tiny feeling he may actually get one this evening although I have no idea why. If he does, though, he's going to be very late for supper. When you get a deer, you have to do all sorts of stuff to get it ready to put on ice before it can be turned into venison. Stuff that I do not want to contemplate because I am a big old hypocrite.
Meanwhile, I believe I will go cook some chicken thighs.
Again- the hypocrisy overwhelms me. And yet, I somehow manage to deal with it.
If you have managed to get all the way to this point in tonight's post, I salute you and, at the same time, have no idea why.
But thank you.
Love...Ms. Moon
P.S. Mr. Moon is home and no, he did not catch a deer tonight. As always, my feelings are mixed but he doesn't seem to be too upset. Or, upset at all. I often think that just being quiet in the woods at dusk is what he really enjoys.
He does, however, really like a nice venison tenderloin, wrapped in bacon.
As do I.
Thank GOD Jessie shut down the tickler! WTF?
ReplyDeleteI’m with you on the meat thing-don’t wanna think about it at all, but yeah, it’s good to eat, packaged.
I really hope you washed your feet in something strong for humoring Birkenstock lady. Being nice has its crusty downfalls.
You ladies are beautiful! I want to know what Lily said that made you laugh your ass off, but know you’re not gonna tell. 😂
-Nicol
I didn't worry about Birkenstock lady's feet. I'm not much of a germaphobe.
DeleteI wonder how many of us would be vegetarians if we had to kill and process our own meat? Pretty sure I would be.
Oh, Lily. She is just generally funny but sometimes she knocks it out of the park.
I'm so horrified by having anyone touch my feet that I think I'd kill if anyone t, t, I can't even say the word. This is why I don't ever get a p*****re. My primary care doctor used to stand back when once a year she did the sole of the foot reflex test. I dreaded it.
ReplyDeleteYou had the equivalent of the shrimp juice in the fridge scene, I see, bad luck.
I have a friend who absolutely cannot stand the idea of having his feet touched or of touching anyone else's feet. Okay. It's Billy. I seem to be mentioning Billy to you a lot.
DeleteYes. Shrimp juice in the refrigerator, spoiled milk in the car. Both a pain in the butt and an offense to the nose.
Tickling is very hostile and aggressive. Someone with that behavior shouldn't have access to anyone's feet.
ReplyDeleteAnd milk....it spreads more than anything else I have experienced. When I was a kid my mom's old station wagon had a milk spill and continued to be driven for years with everyone in the back slightly nauseated. More recently I had a third hand car that I left raw chicken in unloading groceries in a great rush, then went on vacation for a week and came back to an unbelievable funk. That one had to be donated for parts because the smell just couldn't be eradicated. So I applaud your efforts - and is this the brown/brown car you don't love?
Ah well.
Ceci
Tickling IS hostile and it's a form of abuse in many cases. I really should have told this guy to stop instead of believing that my tone of voice would tell him and then waiting for Jessie to take control.
DeleteThat is a horrible story about the chicken. I, not too long ago, also left some chicken in the back of the car- same scenario. Didn't realize it until the next day and by the time I retrieved it, had not yet spoiled. I mean, I wouldn't have eaten it but it didn't stink. I'm glad your car wasn't on the newer side.
"My" car is a Prius. It's pretty old but not ready to be sold for parts. I haven't driven the Subaru at all. It's got too many bells and damn whistles. I'd never get out of the driveway for trying to figure out everything.
I had a flood in my two week old Toyota. We ripped out the carpet and underpadding. Had the seat steam cleaned with a special cleaning product. My Mr still swears it smells moldy. I bought a bunch of those mirror dangly things.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not- I had a sort of mom-van that I loved that I burned incense in sometimes. Perhaps I should try that.
DeleteThis post reminded me of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where the bride's father insisted that Windex is the cure-all for all small wounds, aches and pains. There was one scene where he was sitting and soaking his elbow in a bowl of Windex. That movie made me laugh so hard!
ReplyDeleteYes! I remember that! The Windex! I, too, loved that movie. So many great lines in it. The follow-ups were not so great.
DeleteI didn't like the second movie, but the third (I think) where a woman goes to (Italy?) or Greece is quite good.
Deleteif necessary, you might try one of those enzymatic cleaners designed specifically to eradicate biological odors. I think they sell it at pet stores. Though I fear the issue is more likely to be a missed/hidden cranny than an ineffective cleaning solution… Fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking there may be a hidden cranny but I really can't see where it would be as the drainage occurred in a fairly isolated area. I might have to get Glen to look at it. I'm not sure why he hasn't.
DeleteI must admit I’m not disappointed there’s no deer. I remember heading through the edge of our village to the coastline train on my way to work in New Haven, CT, in the early 90s and passing a deer carcas hanging while being flayed. It was for me a horror movie image and I can’t shake it. I hope the smell of sour milk is gone. What a mess!
ReplyDeleteI saw a deer hanging behind some sort of meat place in Denver once and never forgot that, either. I did not view any flaying though. The guys do the deer processing out in the garage where their equipment is and honestly, I mostly don't see anything at all until everything is packaged and tidy. They bury the bones and I wonder what someone in the future is going to think when they dig that area up.
DeleteI checked the car again today and it still didn't smell good so I left the hatch open all afternoon. I think that helped.
I worked in outback Australia for a few months on a sheep station (ranch) as a teenager and often had time to be talking with the younger "Jackaroo" in the slaughter shed while he was skinning, gutting and chopping up a yearling sheep for the week's meat supply. Didn't bother me one bit. I have plucked chickens too, but someone else did the gutting and head chopping.
DeleteWow, that milk sure did get everywhere! Your experience should be a public service announcement for how to cart milk home from the store. My father would go deer hunting in the fall. He would take my brother and me, and I truly wanted no part of it. I was always afraid that a deer would be shot, and all I could think about was Bambi. When we'd trek through the woods, I would step on every stick I could find to alert the deer. My dad would get so mad at me that he stopped bringing me on deer hunts. That's exactly what I wanted!
ReplyDeleteExcellent thinking on how to get out of hunting! Glen LOVED hunting with his Dad but he didn't get to spend that much time with his father because he worked all the hours that god gave him. So when he did get a chance to go out into the woods with him, it was very special. Plus, I think Glen's just one of those guys that likes to bring home the bacon. Or venison.
DeleteThe pedicure guy obviously doesn't understand body language. At least he listened to Jessie but I wonder what he's like with women in general.
ReplyDeleteSpilled milk is gross and I've had that too. It's just a lot of work.
I think it's funny that you write about Glen catching a deer instead of killing a deer. And now I just read about field dressing a deer and hanging a deer for butchering. Sigh. I should stop being so curious.
Seriously though, as long as people use the meat, I don't have a problem with hunting, even though I wouldn't want to.
The guy was so young and so slight and I really can't imagine him with anyone. He was definitely fucking weird though.
DeleteSpilled milk really is gross. Yuck.
Yeah. I try to pretend there's nothing going on in the deer processing situation. The less I know, the better.
Glen definitely makes sure the deer he catches (okay, shoots) is eaten and/or frozen. He has a vacuum sealer that works well to preserve the meat for a long time. He uses it for fish, too.
I've never had a pedicure but feet tickling should not be involved!
ReplyDeleteToo bad about the smell in the car and I hope you cleared it out. My son is buying a new car tomorrow and it does NOT come with a spare tire - just that can of stuff to inflate a flat, He is going to find out if he can get a spare. Isn't that strange to not include a spare? What does Mr. Moon think about that?
So I just asked Glen and he said that bottom line is, there's just no room in some cars in which a spare could be stored. Like mine, I guess. He also said that some cars come with "run flat" tires that you can actually drive on, theoretically, far enough to reach a facility to get a repair. He's curious as to what sort of car your son is getting.
DeleteI don't even take bags to the grocery store anymore and I don't accept the plastic ones. No bags I tell them, just put it all back in the cart. I have three cardboard boxes I put in my trunk on grocery shopping day and it doesn't take any more time to put everything in those boxes as it would a cart full of plastic bags and much easier to carry it all in at home. They know me as the 'no bags' lady.
ReplyDeleteI ran over something once and it didn't make the inside of the car stink but that tire stunk to high heaven for a day or two.
I do like my bags because I can loop several over my shoulders at once, thus freeing up my hands to hold more. If I forget to bring my bags in, I'll do the same as you and just have them put the groceries back in the cart and I'll bag them myself when I get to the car.
DeleteI wonder what you ran over? A dead skunk? Remember Loudon Wainwright's song, "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road"?
The pedicure guy sounds like a foot fetish freak. When the business starts losing customers, this guy will be a goner.
ReplyDeleteThe smell must have been crazy awful in your car! Taking on the search and clean job seems monumental. If the smell persists, I'd consider having the car detailed. It will have the new car smell.
Susan
That guy was a fucking freak of some kind. The place he works is definitely the biggest nail salon I've ever seen so unless people complain, he's probably going to just go unnoticed.
DeleteI could indeed have the car detailed. This, however, I consider to be Mr. Moon's to deal with. I clean the toilets, he can clean the cars. Am I right?
Good for Jessie. That guy was not behaving professionally.
ReplyDeleteEven if you can still smell a bit of the milk I think it will dissipate over the next several days as whatever remains dries out. But good job doing such a thorough cleaning! That sounds like it must have been tedious!
As always, great to see a photo of the Moon women on your lunch outing. :)
Jessie was not going to let some weirdo do that to her mama.
DeleteThe hardest part about the cleaning of the car was that I kept finding such very, very small crannies and cracks where the milk had collected. Some so small that the only way I could clean them was to use a toothpick with a bit of paper towel wrapped on the end. A small bit of paper towel.
Moon Women! We sound so New Age. I think we're too profane and cynical to be New Agers, though.
You have done everything for your car- Sometimes I go to the hardware store to obtain an odor sponge thing, Comes in a plastic round container, lift the lid and it works until the sponge inside shrinks to a raisin. they used industrial ones for 911 grounds. Charcoal sold in Japanese shops also works and then there is just good old baking soda.
ReplyDeleteIf the pedicure guy did not have sharp objects I think a good kick in the face might have given him pause.
Never heard of the odor sponge. I'll have to check that out. I've heard of using coffee beans (or was it ground coffee?) to absorb odors too. That, however, is too expensive these days! Well, cheaper than a new car, I suppose.
DeleteYeah. I should have kicked that guy. "Oh! So sorry! You startled me and I accidentally kicked you in the face. Motherfucker."
First lesson learned should always be check the lid when buying a gallon jug of milk, or any other liquid. I do this buy tipping it upside down, though we don't have gallon jugs here, we do have 2 litre bottles of things like milk and juice. I wouldn't have put up with someone tickling my foot, so I'm glad Jessie stepped in there. You all look very happy after your lunch. That sky photo is amazing!
ReplyDelete