I picked my last pumpkin of the year this afternoon. They have all found their way to the top of my Hoosier cabinet. I think they are nice as decoration although I am looking forward to eating them. As I pulled the vines I could see there were still baby pumpkins, born of the brilliant yellow flowers, and I felt almost criminal for halting their growth.
However, my conscience was salved by cutting them up into tiny little pieces and adding them to the soup I'm making which is a chicken soup that's going to lean into the Greek category and I say that mainly because there will be lemon and oregano in it.
The baby pumpkins are basically squash and they have a vaguely sweet flavor. The mature pumpkins are very sweet but these babies haven't had enough time for all their insides to turn to sugar.
I made chicken soup because I was trying to think of something that would be soothing for Mr. Moon tonight. He was at the long-term care place all day from early morning until late afternoon. Alan's final journey has begun with the removal of some of the devices that have been keeping him alive.
Comfort is everything at this point.
But Mr. Moon has come home tonight and Alan's wife is going to go home too, although she has hardly skipped one night being with him unless Glen was there to take over the vigil for at least that while.
Some people need privacy to go on while others seem to need loved ones around them and I believe the thinking right now is that if Alan is one of those who need privacy, let him have that.
This is a process, not unlike labor which I have compared to dying, having attended at both of those. A process which should not be rushed nor should respect for whatever the person who is transitioning a new life from that world to this or the person who is transitioning from this world to that might choose, even if that person is unconscious.
I truly believe this.
So I've had a day in which it's been hard to concentrate on anything, my mind and my heart with Glen. I did a little weeding in the garden, I made the observation when I pulled the pumpkin vines that we have nematodes in the garden which I have noticed before and it is not a good thing. Look it up if you have any desire to know what they are.
I cleaned out the bin of the in-the-door ice maker which had frozen up as it has done many times before and yes, we need a real repairman although doing this chore makes me feel capable in a way that hardly anything else does. My tools are a butter knife, a small-headed hammer, and a hair-dryer. This all requires me to be on the step stool and the feeling I get when I thaw out the ice which is blocking the mechanism of the ice maker is pretty rewarding. And then I wrap up the industrial strength electric cord which the hair-dryer was plugged into and I feel like Rosie the Riveter.
All of these things mindless chores.
Glen seems very much at peace with what's going on with Alan, and part of that is the fact that Alan has begun receiving morphine. Glen says that Alan looks more peaceful than he has since all of this started and he is glad of this.
I am too.
Love...Ms. Moon
Im glad that Alan is getting morphine but sad that Glen will lose his friend. Death should be peaceful.
ReplyDeleteMorphine is a gift of the gods for times like this.
DeleteWell, Morpheus, to be exact. Or at least as the Greeks believed.
Yes death can be long and I'm glad Alan is getting pain relief. It's a hard wait for people who love them. And they need care, too.
ReplyDeleteThey do, Boud. Glen's heart is so very, very tender right now.
Deleteyes...sad for Glen, sad for Alan's wife and all who know and love him...but ... it is time, sounds like. I love him in my heart.
ReplyDeleteSusan M
It is time. And he is being loved into this next step.
DeleteThinking of you all tonight, Darling Maryxo Rebecca
ReplyDeleteThank you, my very most darling Rebecca. You are always there for me and I am grateful.
DeleteMay Alan have a peaceful, pain-free, passage into the Great Unknown.
ReplyDeleteYes! I would wish that for us all.
DeleteThinking of Alan, his wife, Mr.Moon, and you. So sorry.
ReplyDelete-Nicol
Such an unbelievable series of events starting with one mosquito bite.
DeleteI have heard of nematodes but never seen any so I shall look them up just to satisfy my curiosity. I have also heard of some people waiting until they are alone in the room before passing on. I am glad Alan is now getting morphine, it's wonderful stuff and he won't die in pain.
ReplyDeleteI have read on other blogs about the troubles with icemakers in fridges and the blockages etc, for this reason I will NEVER have a fridge with an ice maker. Ice in drinks isn't a big thing here in Australia anyway, we drink things fridge cold mostly, or room temperature, and those who want ice get the icecube tray from the freezer and flip out a couple of cubes.
Yes, there are many stories of people who wait until they are alone to go on.
DeleteLet us praise the god Morpheus.
As to ice makers- each to her or his own. We silly Americans love our drinks with ice in them. I drink ice water all day long. And I spent many, many years fussing with ice cube trays and I'll be damned if I go back to them. Our refrigerator actually has TWO icemakers! One in the freezer which is in the lower part of the refrigerator and one in the door. The bottom one has never given us a problem.
Seems there are several types of nematodes, some are beneficial to plants, some are not, others are invasive parasites such as roundworm in animals and humans.
ReplyDeleteThere are the NOT beneficial type. Of course.
DeleteI think that death should be as holy as birth. I am sorry for Mr. Moon's loss.
ReplyDeleteAnd every birth should be holy. Because it is.
DeleteYou are right.
DeleteDeath is the opposite of birth, and I like the way you see the great round. It reminds me of something I've said whenever I see an animal that was killed by a car. "For all those coming into this world, and all those going out of this world, may there be a peaceful transition full of love."
ReplyDeleteI wish it were so that all births and deaths were peaceful. That would be absolutely the best.
DeleteI'm sorry Alan never recovered, but there's an inevitability to it all, I suppose. Good thinking on using the baby pumpkins in the soup.
ReplyDeleteFuck mosquitoes! I guess they can't help what they are and what they can transmit.
DeleteThe pumpkin didn't add much in the way of flavor to the soup but I am sure it added nutrients. Or, as Glen says, "nutriments." I think he's joking.
Wishing Alan and those who love him peace.
ReplyDeleteThank you, dearheart.
Deletesending peace and strength to your husband, you and alan's wife and family. xxalainaxx
ReplyDeleteI think everyone is feeling acceptance right now. It's hard though. But it's so apparent it's time.
DeleteWell, I'm sorry I looked up nematodes as they look pretty gross to me...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that Alan is not in pain and that he won't be suffering much longer. His family and Mr. Moon have had time to nurse him and love him.
Nematodes ARE gross!
DeleteGlen says that Alan appears to be more peaceful than he has seemed in the last many weeks so that's good. And yes, I think especially for Alan's wife it has been important for her to have this time to be with him, love him, and take care of him in whatever ways she can.
Morphine is the way to go. It eases any pain and provides a calm and peaceful transition. Two relatives transitioned under morphine. One wanted me there and holding his hand and I complied. The other said he wanted me there, but when I stepped out to use the bathroom he died quickly. The nurse said some people choose to be alone.
ReplyDeleteSurely Alan knows his family and GM were there for him. Saying goodbye is never easy.
Susan
Yes. Some people do choose to be alone. It's odd to think that there can be choice in such situations but there can.
DeleteI hope that in some way, some sense, Alan has felt the love being given to him.
Dying should be attended, not feared. And yes some people want to slip away in privacy, perhaps to spare their loved one the pain of seeing the actual last breath and the slipping away. I hope someone, Alan's wife or Glen. has told Alan that it is ok to let go, that his wife will be taken care of so that he can slip away in peace and no worries. That's what I believe.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if any studies have been done on those who seemingly chose to die alone and some who appear to want loved ones around them. I think perhaps some people are just very private, even unto their passing.
DeleteYes. Alan has been told those things, reassured that it's okay for him to go. Damn but this is hard.
Hi, I just saw an article on Yahoo saying that Magnolia is trending as a girl's name. I'm Jennifer and I knew NO Jennifers until Blankety-blank Love Story came out, and for about 20 years after that it seemed like every third girl was named Jennifer. A dubious compliment. Best to you all
ReplyDeleteI remember when Jennifer was considered very old-fashioned which seems impossible now, doesn't it? I think it's a beautiful name. I love its shortened version of Jenny, too.
DeleteJennifer was an option for my first baby but hubby insisted on something else, so I kept it in mind and was going to use it for the last baby, but he turned out to be a James.
DeleteDeath is one of the facts of life, and like aging and childbirth, should be widely understood and revered and not feared and painted over - in my opinion at least. Poor Glen (and you) having had it so close to you for the last few months.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I think it would do everyone a service if birth and death were discussed far more than they are and I believe that those two subjects should be far more taught about than they are.
DeleteAs a retired critical care nurse, many patients need to receive comfort in the last days of life. I was with my sister in her last days of life and she was a young 81. Her kidneys failed and her life suffered. She kept telling me she did not want to die she was afraid...every night we (her 3 grown married sons, and I} were there ... Hospice was called in because she was in pain and had refused dialysis . All night we cared for her ...after 10 days she started to slow down... when she died in front of me ,I told her that I loved her .. would miss her terrible and thanked her for being my big sister. Ms. Moon it is truly a blessing to pass. I am not afraid to die anymore. My sister finally looked peaceful. I felt her presence around me when I went home, and I thanked her .
ReplyDeleteWhen I was with my friend Sue who died many years ago, I learned the same thing- do not be afraid. It was peaceful, it was natural, and there were five of us there who held and loved on her and told her we loved her. I'll never forget her taking off he nasal delivered oxygen herself, and thus, going on. It was beautiful. I think about that death so much and how perfectly peaceful it was. She didn't even have morphine because hospice wasn't a big thing then.
DeleteShe just took off in her time and her own place, surrounded by her own people.
I will always be grateful for my Sue's example.
So sorry to hear that your Friend Alan is making his final Journey, which is always difficult to sit vigil for if you are Friend or Family. I was very glad my Parents went to Hospice for their finality, Hospice explains the Death process very well and prepares everyone for what will happen and why it's happening. I liked your Autumn Vignette, it's Lovely.
ReplyDelete